You look...
Amazing...
Why do I see you
In this lustrous way?
Why do I lie
To myself and others
About my feelings,
Urges, and tension?
All I can do
Is sit.
Breathe in and out.
As I look across
The path that separates us,
I feel a spark.
Maybe it was sent
From above.
When our eyes meet,
I gaze deeply into yours.
I can’t even speak.
You are gorgeous.
Let me digest
Your delicious features,
And handsome looks.
You look at me,
And blush.
You understand
My expression.
Maybe...
You feel...
Something, too?
We gaze at each other,
Falling into a
Gray haze
Of friendly intention.
A sort of...
Heat,
Not to mention.
I can feel your fire,
Burning inside your heart,
Mind, and soul.
At least,
That is what
My heart
Has told
Me.
You look away,
As that flame flickers,
Giving you
Some curious jitters.
Why do we have
To play this game?
A game of interesting looks,
Dealt with cards
In the suit of hearts.
I want to look
At you, and in your
Eyes...
As I recite a poetic phrase.
One that may convey
My message.
I can’t tell you this, though.
I wish that wasn’t so.
I am only human.
So I will imagine.
I will think of you,
And in my mind,
Silently gaze.
Let me gaze.
Let me look.
Seeing you
Is all it took.
Aug 4, 2020
Aug 4, 2020 at 7:04 AM UTC
That one night,
Where we both
Took a chance,
Was fantastic.
We literally danced
In the ******* rain.
That one night,
You said you cared,
But wouldn’t dare
Get too close to me.
I felt nervous,
But I stayed flirtatious.
You took me
In your strong arms,
And found your way
Inside my body.
You literally parted
My mouth with your lips.
You said,
“Let me teach you
How to kiss.”
We laid down
In a content bliss.
We literally
Cried out in ecstasy.
Now, you tell me
You don’t think I can
Handle being just friends.
This is where our story ends.
Now, this is where
My whole world spins,
And nobody here
Truly wins.
Well, to be
Completely honest,
You broke my heart.
You said your
Cutting remark,
And now I am left alone
To walk that trail in the dark.
I thought we could be friends.
Why does our friendship
Need to end
Like this?
And why the ****
Am I always the one
Whose heart is left to bleed out
Through the cuts
Done by that friendly blade?
I want to cry,
Maybe even die.
Maybe leaving this world
Would be best for everyone.
If that is what you want,
I will say a final goodbye.
My heart is left alone
To be in a lonely,
Broken, hurt
State.
My heart is broken
For the very last time.
I won’t let it happen again.
This action
I have planned.
Premeditated.
Will make sure of it.
Nov 2, 2019
Nov 2, 2019 at 7:10 PM UTC
I have a condition
Where I put
All my heart
Into everything
And everyone.
I talk to you.
Saying things
I should not,
And expressing
My feelings.
I have a need
To show
All my heart
And compassion
To the people I meet.
When I lay in bed,
Late at night,
My heart feels an energy
And passion
Only for you.
I have a feeling
In all of my heart.
It is one of lust.
Lust and trust.
Help me, now.
Some people
Hide their emotions,
And feelings.
I’m the opposite.
I wear them on my sleeves.
I have a condition
Where I put
All my heart
Into everything
And everyone.
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 12:17 PM UTC
Something doesn’t
Feel right.
I thought there were
People here.
I can’t stop
This feeling of fear.
I walk down
The long
Deserted pathways.
“You’re never alone,”
He always says.
I feel off.
I wish there
Was a sign.
A whistle,
Or a slight cough.
I feel all alone
In this building.
I want to scream.
The noise would
Echo up
To the ceiling.
Where did they go?
I really don’t know.
They have abandoned
This place.
I need to see
A familiar face.
Just one person
Would do.
Their presence
Would help me
See it through.
One thing
Is for sure.
I am all alone.
I feel ice cold,
Like a stone.
All alone...
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 12:16 PM UTC
The pain that you feel
Demands to be felt.
Endure it,
And you will be held.
Don’t deny the heartache
That you feel deep inside.
Let yourself feel, hurt, and break.
It is real, not fake.
If you think it is too hard,
Bend gently, and ask for help.
Not doing so
Will leave you empty.
Forget the past,
And focus on the present.
Let it ring in the future
It will be bright, for sure.
The pain will always be there.
Like a friend with a care.
Hold it close before it’s gone,
And sing your lonely song.
If you let yourself
Feel the pain,
You will be able
To feel joy fully,
And your emotion won’t go in vain.
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 3:46 PM UTC
I wake up
Feeling dizzy
And unsure.
What did I do
Last night
When I saw you?
I remember music
Loud and raucous.
I saw you across the room
Dancing to the beat and tune.
I get out of bed
And notice a mark
That was left behind
By someone who was unkind.
Was it him that brought me
The tonic and gin?
I remember a moment,
Walking towards you,
Avoiding eye contact
And trying to get through.
I pour myself coffee,
And put on my glasses
So I can see.
A little sugar and milk maybe?
My mind is in a fog,
And life seems hazy.
I remember you
Meeting my gaze
And trying not to
Crack a smile.
I drink my cup,
Realizing what I drank
The night before.
It made me fall to the floor.
My head and heart were broken
When you walked to her door.
I remember when
You danced towards me,
Making the same face
You made at me when we met.
I brush my teeth,
As I try not to gag
At the thought of what
I might have done
Caught up in the fun
Made when the night was young.
I remember reaching
Out my hand to you.
You took it
Without hesitating.
I get dressed
And brush on
Lip liner and mascara,
Wondering what I will say
To the girl you left,
The date you parted from at the table.
I remember talking
To her earlier
In the afternoon,
Saying I will see her soon.
I look in the mirror
And notice a new bruise
On my neck.
It is one you made
When you knew
You had nothing to lose.
I remember promising
To myself on my drive
On the route to the party
That I wouldn’t slip...
And fall prey to your presence.
But the drink was so good.
And the music?
It made me sick.
I knew it was wrong,
But it felt so right.
All signs pointed to yes.
I let you in without a fight.
I lost myself,
As I lost my sense of sight.
What will I say
When I see you today?
Will it feel natural?
The dynamic, I mean.
Will you smile at me,
And not create a scene?
All I can do
Is blame myself
And my thoughtless actions.
It was the drink that did it,
And now nothing seems to fit.
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 6:52 PM UTC
Why no rest
For the seemingly young
Traveler?
Maybe it’s because
I’m with the best,
The most fun,
The one caller.
He isn’t the only thing
Keeping
Me awake.
It’s the ache
And the pain
I feel
Due to the rain.
The man,
My all wonderful knight,
Lays next to me.
I feel his hand
Roam against my waistband.
His movement
Is one of a quiet,
Drowsy,
Sleepy nature.
When I start drifting off
Relaxed and warm
In your grasp,
I feel something different.
A pang goes
Through my chest
Moving towards my breast.
“Oh no,” I think
As I wonder
If this might be…
A storm coming,
A steady falling shower.
One that may help that flower,
But not for another hour.
The weather
Brings about a tightness
That chews at the cuts
Made on the outside
That penetrates towards the inside.
I think to myself
Finding it slightly funny,
“Ah great, war scars
Acting up and fighting
To get some attention.”
But Mother Nature
May be causing
The insomnia…
In a different way
Saved for this day.
Again, a pain
Shoots through my stomach,
“Did I eat too much?”
“Ow! Was that touch
Harder than I thought?”
“Bang!”
The last word I felt
Before I knew it’d be
Too late.
But I know
**** straight
From this feeling
That everything’s in order.
I know there will be no disorder.
I know I’m with
The most caring,
The most compassionate,
The most kind
Boyfriend.
There is no rest
When someone
Who’s so true
Is laying with you.
Why no rest
For the seemingly young
Traveler?
Maybe it’s because
I’m with the best,
The most fun,
The one caller.
Jun 28, 2018
Jun 28, 2018 at 7:03 PM UTC
Boy, it’s been hard.
It feels like I’ve
Been treading on glass.
Help me extract
This sharp shard,
And gimme shelter.
Boy, it’s been so long,
Since I’ve been
Held by my man.
I’ve been singing
A lonely, sad song,
And I need shelter.
Boy, can’t you see,
What this life
Has done to me?
I’ve cried many tears,
And I need to break free.
Please, gimme shelter.
Boy, I need someone
Who can reach out,
And can see the hurt
That’s been done.
Someone who is kind enough
To gimme shelter.
Boy, please say
That this pain,
And discomfort
Will go away.
Please stay,
And gimme shelter.
Gimme shelter.
Jun 28, 2018
Jun 28, 2018 at 2:19 PM UTC
Years ago,
My heart was trapped.
Taken advantage of,
It was blinded by love.
I was comfortable.
Yes, I fell into a ditch
Surrounded by desire and passion
And
Burning flames of feeling needed and cared for.
But like I said,
It was comfortable.
Well, I’ve been told
One should not dwell on the past,
Even though experiences are what make you.
So, let me move on.
Years later,
My heart was discovered
By another.
He looked carefully at it, and at the damage that had been done.
This man, who was then a boy,
Decided my heart was worth something.
He gently picked it up in cupped hands,
Afraid it might fall, or run in fear of his touch.
He made a decision.
“I’m going to take a chance,” he thought.
And he said aloud, “Because this heart clearly needs healing.”
So, he took it with him.
In the care of this
Mature beyond his years,
Boy, the heart began to feel wanted again,
And it began to feel better and heal.
Little did the, now man, know that…
Six months later,
The heart and the woman it belonged to
Would have grown an unbreakable attachment to this man.
The woman was again in love.
Her heart was again trapped,
But not like it had been in the past.
It was certainly not taken advantage of,
But it was, indeed, blinded by love.
You may ask,
“What happened to the hero that picked up the fallen heart?”
And
“Where is the woman who fell in love with this man?”
Well, unfortunately,
Proximity has distanced them from each other,
But, luckily,
They have grown fonder and their love deeper for one another.
I’ll let you in on a little secret.
We don’t know what has happened
Six months after the man picked up the heart.
But
I am writing this on September 27, 2016,
As the man is speaking to me.
And never has my heart felt more
Comfortable, loved, and devoted.
Sure, a reader of this story might say
“This is so cliché!
It’s like any other love story…”
But if you knew the two people involved,
And the details of the relationship that fall through due to the sake of a poem’s content,
Then maybe, MAYBE,
You can pass a judgment on this story, this love, this unbreakable reality.
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 4:00 PM UTC
It’s time
For a change.
My feelings
Have rearranged.
I lay in bed
Feeling the heat of your body
Radiate next to me.
I wonder,
“Is this right?”
My thoughts take up the night.
It’s time
For a change.
I feel distant.
I can’t explain.
My thoughts keep running
Like a runner on a track.
I lift my head,
Grab my pack
And lighter,
And carefully get out of bed.
It’s time
For a change.
You and I
Are no longer the same.
I look at the table
And notice another empty bottle.
You downed another
When I wasn’t looking.
Now, you stink of alcohol.
I can’t say a thing.
I unlock the door,
Turning the key,
Feeling a spark of hope
Inside of me.
I walk outside
Down to where the sand hits the tide.
It’s time
For a change
I don’t want to hurt you,
But I feel estranged.
“What are you doing?”
I hear you say.
I want to respond,
To tell you how I feel,
But all I can do
Is pray.
It’s time
For a change.
I need a sign
To help me break away.
“Come back inside,”
You say in a controlling
And angry tone.
I make a decision.
I dive head first into the bay.
It’s time for a change.
As I swim further,
My heart becomes surer.
With you,
I can’t breathe,
As if I’m drowning in cold water.
You once spoke to me
Lovingly.
Now you say my name
With disgust and distaste.
It’s time
For a change.
I swim back to shore
Not knowing what’s in store.
“What were you thinking?”
You shout at me.
I brush past you,
Grab a suitcase,
And start packing.
This is the last time
Undoubtedly.
It’s time
For a change.
This upsetting routine
Isn’t at all strange.
“You’ll be back,”
You say in a quieter voice.
I look at you,
And say, “No.”
It’s time
For a change.
I’m free now,
And love has
A different name.
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 10:03 PM UTC