maddie-robert - Hello Poetry

I didn't know him. Sure, I'd seen him around, But you start taking the presence of someone For granted. I never talked to him And I never will. Maybe things would have been different. If only I had said "hi". I might have known him. Or his mind. But I know as well as anyone, That it's hard to really know someone. I didn't know him. Why did I cry so much? I should have at the very least said "hi". But I'm only human. I can't save everyone.

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Jul 13, 2014

Jul 13, 2014 at 6:13 PM UTC

Hello

I didn't know him. Sure, I'd seen him around, But you start taking the presence of someone For granted. I never talked to him And I never will. Maybe things would have been different. If only I had said "hi". I might have known him. Or his mind. But I know as well as anyone, That it's hard to really know someone. I didn't know him. Why did I cry so much? I should have at the very least said "hi". But I'm only human. I can't save everyone.

17

Ice I feel numb Water The numbness fades and I melt, the water running down my cheeks. Steam The sadness passes and I feel angry, evaporating into nothingness.

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Jul 2, 2014

Jul 2, 2014 at 1:07 AM UTC

Phase Change

Ice I feel numb Water The numbness fades and I melt, the water running down my cheeks. Steam The sadness passes and I feel angry, evaporating into nothingness.

6

I despise I detest I abhor I abominate I strongly dislike I hate Why did this happen? I hate that we never talk anymore. I hate that I (still) freeze up and can't talk to you. I hate that I get so self-conscious. I hate that you gave me false hope. I hate how you've started smoking, become a stoner. That kills me. It makes me want to slap you hard across the face. I wish I wouldn't look at your face and see a missed opportunity. I wish I wouldn't look at you and become so filled with regret that I want… to hurt myself. I wish I could look at you and feel nothing. I just want to forget. And then… after all these red angry thoughts quit rushing through my brain all at once, a tiny part of me says in a whisper that feels like a shout, "Why are you blaming him? It's your fault, you know." And then everything collapses around me. I want to sink to my knees and curl into a ball. I want to cry so that my tears disintegrate my body until there is absolutely nothing left. Because deep down, I know this is true. It was because I couldn't talk. I was too quiet. I was too shy. And now, when I look at you, all I see is what I saw before. But now, whenever I see it, a deep longing fills my chest. I hate that feeling. I wish this wasn't so frustrating. You probably look at me and feel nothing while I look at you and radiate disappointment. I hate that you made me feel this way. I hate that you can move on so easily. You were important to me you piece of ****

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Jun 24, 2014

Jun 24, 2014 at 9:17 PM UTC

I've Fallen in Hate

I despise I detest I abhor I abominate I strongly dislike I hate Why did this happen? I hate that we never talk anymore. I hate that I (still) freeze up and can't talk to you. I hate that I get so self-conscious. I hate that you gave me false hope. I hate how you've started smoking, become a stoner. That kills me. It makes me want to slap you hard across the face. I wish I wouldn't look at your face and see a missed opportunity. I wish I wouldn't look at you and become so filled with regret that I want… to hurt myself. I wish I could look at you and feel nothing. I just want to forget. And then… after all these red angry thoughts quit rushing through my brain all at once, a tiny part of me says in a whisper that feels like a shout, "Why are you blaming him? It's your fault, you know." And then everything collapses around me. I want to sink to my knees and curl into a ball. I want to cry so that my tears disintegrate my body until there is absolutely nothing left. Because deep down, I know this is true. It was because I couldn't talk. I was too quiet. I was too shy. And now, when I look at you, all I see is what I saw before. But now, whenever I see it, a deep longing fills my chest. I hate that feeling. I wish this wasn't so frustrating. You probably look at me and feel nothing while I look at you and radiate disappointment. I hate that you made me feel this way. I hate that you can move on so easily. You were important to me you piece of ****

89

When most people say "I've lost my appetite" they've usually come across some shocking bit of news or a realization. Or they are simply too squeamish to handle such gruesome conversation. At least, that was sort of the case for me as a child. I remember a Halloween night topic of body parts and dismal ends. I claimed to have "lost my appetite" although I continued to eat. I've never physically lost my appetite But maybe I haven't had the proper shock.

0

Jun 24, 2014

Jun 24, 2014 at 8:09 PM UTC

I've Lost My Appetite

When most people say "I've lost my appetite" they've usually come across some shocking bit of news or a realization. Or they are simply too squeamish to handle such gruesome conversation. At least, that was sort of the case for me as a child. I remember a Halloween night topic of body parts and dismal ends. I claimed to have "lost my appetite" although I continued to eat. I've never physically lost my appetite But maybe I haven't had the proper shock.

24

There she'd be. Feeling hopeless...again. But it's decided. She knows where she wants to go now. She presses the button, waiting, for the cheery "ding" indicating the car has arrived. She won't try to see herself in the stainless steel of the doors. She already knows what she'll see. The doors slide apart smoothly, and without a sound. Nervously, she steps over the threshold, trembling slightly. But it's decided. She knows where she's going. There might be other people in the elevator car but they won't talk to her. They won't see her. They've already been through it. They're hardly even there. Her finger reaches out to push the button of the floor she wants to go on. As it sinks under the pressure of her fingertip she notices something. Someone, actually. It's that friend of hers. The one who always tried to talk her out of this. The one who actually cares. She's running down the hall now. Yelling something. Trying to stop her. And in that moment, there's a flash of uncertainty. Does she really want to go through with this? But the doors begin to close. Her friend runs faster, while she, stands in the center of the elevator car, frozen. She doesn't want this to happen. It's too scary. She doesn't want to go. She wants to stay with her friend. But as her friend closes the distance, just an arm's length away, the doors shut. It's been decided. She's going. Now. And no matter how hard she tries to pry the doors open with her fingernails, or push the "open" button repeatedly, she can't change that. And the pain hasn't been taken away like she thought it would.

0

Jun 23, 2014

Jun 23, 2014 at 11:20 PM UTC

If Suicide Were an Elevator

There she'd be. Feeling hopeless...again. But it's decided. She knows where she wants to go now. She presses the button, waiting, for the cheery "ding" indicating the car has arrived. She won't try to see herself in the stainless steel of the doors. She already knows what she'll see. The doors slide apart smoothly, and without a sound. Nervously, she steps over the threshold, trembling slightly. But it's decided. She knows where she's going. There might be other people in the elevator car but they won't talk to her. They won't see her. They've already been through it. They're hardly even there. Her finger reaches out to push the button of the floor she wants to go on. As it sinks under the pressure of her fingertip she notices something. Someone, actually. It's that friend of hers. The one who always tried to talk her out of this. The one who actually cares. She's running down the hall now. Yelling something. Trying to stop her. And in that moment, there's a flash of uncertainty. Does she really want to go through with this? But the doors begin to close. Her friend runs faster, while she, stands in the center of the elevator car, frozen. She doesn't want this to happen. It's too scary. She doesn't want to go. She wants to stay with her friend. But as her friend closes the distance, just an arm's length away, the doors shut. It's been decided. She's going. Now. And no matter how hard she tries to pry the doors open with her fingernails, or push the "open" button repeatedly, she can't change that. And the pain hasn't been taken away like she thought it would.

62