ma-wishing - Hello Poetry

I don't want to cry tonight I don't want to hate myself tonight I don't want to hurt tonight I don't want to die inside tonight Depression Self hate Paranoia Dying inside The tears won't fall The hate won't stop The fear won't fade The feeling won't leave Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend choking back a sob Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend judging myself Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend fearing the others Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend dead Tomorrow is when I spend the day with friends Tomorrow is when I spend the day with family Tomorrow is when I spend the day one year older Tomorrow is my birthday I don't want to silently cry while my friends are asleep I don't want to grab the razor and drag it across my skin while my family is asleep I don't want to fear a new day while the world is asleep I don't want to die while the night is new Please for tomorrow stop the tears Please for tomorrow stop the judging Please for tomorrow stop the fear Please don't let me die tomorrow I'll be thirteen tomorrow I'll be thirteen on July 25th I'll be thirteen at 3:30PM I'll be fine tomorrow, Right?

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Jul 25, 2014

Jul 25, 2014 at 1:51 AM UTC

Untitled

I don't want to cry tonight I don't want to hate myself tonight I don't want to hurt tonight I don't want to die inside tonight Depression Self hate Paranoia Dying inside The tears won't fall The hate won't stop The fear won't fade The feeling won't leave Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend choking back a sob Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend judging myself Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend fearing the others Tomorrow is the day I don't want to spend dead Tomorrow is when I spend the day with friends Tomorrow is when I spend the day with family Tomorrow is when I spend the day one year older Tomorrow is my birthday I don't want to silently cry while my friends are asleep I don't want to grab the razor and drag it across my skin while my family is asleep I don't want to fear a new day while the world is asleep I don't want to die while the night is new Please for tomorrow stop the tears Please for tomorrow stop the judging Please for tomorrow stop the fear Please don't let me die tomorrow I'll be thirteen tomorrow I'll be thirteen on July 25th I'll be thirteen at 3:30PM I'll be fine tomorrow, Right?

33

There's a girl Who sits in the back of the class She gets good grades She has plenty of friends She smiles There's a girl Who sits in her room She slices her skin She hates herself She cries The two girls are the same people Her smile is her mask Shielding others from seeing who she is Little do they know She's dying

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Jul 16, 2014

Jul 16, 2014 at 6:48 PM UTC

Untitled

There's a girl Who sits in the back of the class She gets good grades She has plenty of friends She smiles There's a girl Who sits in her room She slices her skin She hates herself She cries The two girls are the same people Her smile is her mask Shielding others from seeing who she is Little do they know She's dying

15

Poem She lay awake in the darkness of night Waiting for the noises to fade away Waiting for the people to fall asleep Then the time comes when all is still When all Is quiet and asleep She grasps the box and opens the lid She selects one of her trusted friends Shaking hands, beating heart Waiting for the fires to start They begin Skin and metal collide Drag, slice, cut Burning fires Relaxing sensation Beautiful crimson beads For a moment there's peace It fades Just one more Why not? One turns to two Two turns to ten Ten turns to twenty Addiction There's no way out, no way to escape Just fire Fire is all she's ever known Fire Now she does not burn She cuts It's all a metaphor, isn't it? Life is just a metaphor Isn't it?

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Jul 16, 2014

Jul 16, 2014 at 1:10 AM UTC

Metaphor

Poem She lay awake in the darkness of night Waiting for the noises to fade away Waiting for the people to fall asleep Then the time comes when all is still When all Is quiet and asleep She grasps the box and opens the lid She selects one of her trusted friends Shaking hands, beating heart Waiting for the fires to start They begin Skin and metal collide Drag, slice, cut Burning fires Relaxing sensation Beautiful crimson beads For a moment there's peace It fades Just one more Why not? One turns to two Two turns to ten Ten turns to twenty Addiction There's no way out, no way to escape Just fire Fire is all she's ever known Fire Now she does not burn She cuts It's all a metaphor, isn't it? Life is just a metaphor Isn't it?

33

7/8/3030 8:11 PM Why aren't you running? Why aren't you hiding? You're just standing there! Can't you feel the rumble? Can't you smell the smoke? You're not doing anything! Am I the only one? Am I alone? You don't even care! Am I insane? Is this all in my head? Some one please! Why are you staring? Why won't you help me? I'm scared! How can I tell what's real? How can I tell what isn't? Maybe I can't! Is this a dream? Is this reality? It might be something else entirely! What's happening to me? How would you know anyways? You're just a child.

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Jul 8, 2014

Jul 8, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC

Questions

7/8/3030 8:11 PM Why aren't you running? Why aren't you hiding? You're just standing there! Can't you feel the rumble? Can't you smell the smoke? You're not doing anything! Am I the only one? Am I alone? You don't even care! Am I insane? Is this all in my head? Some one please! Why are you staring? Why won't you help me? I'm scared! How can I tell what's real? How can I tell what isn't? Maybe I can't! Is this a dream? Is this reality? It might be something else entirely! What's happening to me? How would you know anyways? You're just a child.

26

7/7/3030 8:22 AM Can you hear the warning? It roars. Can you feel the ground? It shakes. Can you smell the fear? It's contagious. Can you taste the death? It's coming. Can you see the chaos? It's here. Goodbye old world.

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Jul 7, 2014

Jul 7, 2014 at 11:29 AM UTC

The Beginning

7/7/3030 8:22 AM Can you hear the warning? It roars. Can you feel the ground? It shakes. Can you smell the fear? It's contagious. Can you taste the death? It's coming. Can you see the chaos? It's here. Goodbye old world.

13

7/5/3030 10:08 PM The end Is near Why can't you see? My dear? Open your eyes My dearest darling You can't run from it Though it may seem alarming Lies and greed among All these strangers Can't they see? We're all traitors You can run You can hide But trust me I've tried You cannot Escape What this is It's fate

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Jul 6, 2014

Jul 6, 2014 at 1:15 AM UTC

Untitled

7/5/3030 10:08 PM The end Is near Why can't you see? My dear? Open your eyes My dearest darling You can't run from it Though it may seem alarming Lies and greed among All these strangers Can't they see? We're all traitors You can run You can hide But trust me I've tried You cannot Escape What this is It's fate

22

On that day, On that very day, Somewhat, Seventy years ago. From the train, You dangled, Almost there hang in there, Buck. Almost there, Stretch and reach, Grab my hand, We'll be reunited soon. Creak and grunt, Crack and scream, Panic, Fear. Fingers collide, Slipping through, Rail snaps, Fall. That scream you screamed, Terrified as you fall, Farther and farther, Screams. "Bucky!" "Steve!" My screams your screams, Gone. Impact, Injuries, No light, No arm. Dead, Dead in the snow, Dead in the mountians, No. Seventy years past, Seventy years ago, Seventy years later, Seventy years now. A man, Gun in hand, Shaggy hair, Determined face. A man, All in black, Mask on face, Metal arm. My friend, My foe, My savior, My killer. I could never fight, The one who gave me hope, You gave me a chance, Even when no one would. I'm not gonna fight you, I'm not gonna hurt you, "Cuz I'm with ya till the end of the line, Pal." Now it's my turn to fall, And your turn to watch, Our turn all over again, To watch in fear. You gave me a life, You gave me a brother, You gave me a friend, Why can't I return the favor? You protected me, I protected you, You fought me, I stayed with you. From friend to foe, We remain, From friend to foe, We stayed.

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Jun 30, 2014

Jun 30, 2014 at 10:37 AM UTC

From Friend To Foe

On that day, On that very day, Somewhat, Seventy years ago. From the train, You dangled, Almost there hang in there, Buck. Almost there, Stretch and reach, Grab my hand, We'll be reunited soon. Creak and grunt, Crack and scream, Panic, Fear. Fingers collide, Slipping through, Rail snaps, Fall. That scream you screamed, Terrified as you fall, Farther and farther, Screams. "Bucky!" "Steve!" My screams your screams, Gone. Impact, Injuries, No light, No arm. Dead, Dead in the snow, Dead in the mountians, No. Seventy years past, Seventy years ago, Seventy years later, Seventy years now. A man, Gun in hand, Shaggy hair, Determined face. A man, All in black, Mask on face, Metal arm. My friend, My foe, My savior, My killer. I could never fight, The one who gave me hope, You gave me a chance, Even when no one would. I'm not gonna fight you, I'm not gonna hurt you, "Cuz I'm with ya till the end of the line, Pal." Now it's my turn to fall, And your turn to watch, Our turn all over again, To watch in fear. You gave me a life, You gave me a brother, You gave me a friend, Why can't I return the favor? You protected me, I protected you, You fought me, I stayed with you. From friend to foe, We remain, From friend to foe, We stayed.

76

Thank you, For always being there, Even when times were rough. Thank you, For your time and patience, Even hen it was wearing thin. Thank you, For being a friend, Even though I don't know you. Thank you, For listening to my story, Even when I didn't want you to read on. But do you? Really want this? A girl who has scars? A girl who's been labeled? Cutter and shredder? Bisexual and bipolar? You took her in, Gave her support, Mended the scars. You helped her, Fixed her broken wings, Now she flies. Thank you so very much, For saving her, For saving me.

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Jun 12, 2014

Jun 12, 2014 at 12:28 AM UTC

Thank you

Thank you, For always being there, Even when times were rough. Thank you, For your time and patience, Even hen it was wearing thin. Thank you, For being a friend, Even though I don't know you. Thank you, For listening to my story, Even when I didn't want you to read on. But do you? Really want this? A girl who has scars? A girl who's been labeled? Cutter and shredder? Bisexual and bipolar? You took her in, Gave her support, Mended the scars. You helped her, Fixed her broken wings, Now she flies. Thank you so very much, For saving her, For saving me.

27

Do you know what it's like? To sit alone, overlooked and hurt? Do you know what it's like? To cry yourself to sleep every night? Do you know what it's like? To be broken and bruised, ignored and confused? Do you know what it's like? To die die every day, and yet have no regain? Do you know what it's like? To be told your hated every single day? Do you know what it's like? To be hurt both mentally and physically by the ones you hold dear? Do you know what it's like? To be ignored and scarred? Do you know what it's like? To see a sliver of hope, it then to be ripped away? Do you know what it's like? To feel as if you could never love or be loved again? Do you know what it's like? To cut and beat and shred? Do you know what it's like? To live a half life? Do you know what it's like? To be me?

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Jun 10, 2014

Jun 10, 2014 at 7:41 PM UTC

Do you know what it's like?

24

The room is empty, The air is still, Nothing but me, My contempt. It's cold, Smooth, Sharp, Uncontrolled. I turn the killer, Over in my hands, I turn the breaker, The thriller. I wrap my fingers, Over the handle, Open, It lingers. Fair skin, No marks, No scars, This what would've been. Press, Glide, Cut, Regrets. Drip drop, Red, Blood, No stop. Pain, Mental, Physical, No gain. Sharp breaths, Gasps for air, Bad thoughts, Deaths. Back to reality, Realization, Wounds now scars to come, No morality. The blade, Not the killer, The one who holds it The killer betrayed. Just one, A single burning cut, All this hurt, What have I done?

0

Jun 9, 2014

Jun 9, 2014 at 5:00 PM UTC

Cuts

The room is empty, The air is still, Nothing but me, My contempt. It's cold, Smooth, Sharp, Uncontrolled. I turn the killer, Over in my hands, I turn the breaker, The thriller. I wrap my fingers, Over the handle, Open, It lingers. Fair skin, No marks, No scars, This what would've been. Press, Glide, Cut, Regrets. Drip drop, Red, Blood, No stop. Pain, Mental, Physical, No gain. Sharp breaths, Gasps for air, Bad thoughts, Deaths. Back to reality, Realization, Wounds now scars to come, No morality. The blade, Not the killer, The one who holds it The killer betrayed. Just one, A single burning cut, All this hurt, What have I done?

48