I know that it's wrong
But he's the reason that I
listen to music
M.C.M
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 6:28 PM UTC
If music could be a substance
instead of the curse of food
then I'd consume it for hours
and never gain weight or look crude
You think it's so obvious
the way the need grew
but my eleven year old sister
she never really knew
how eating devoured me
piles on piles until I'd
pull back and withdraw for days
while internally I cried
They took me to a doctor
who taught me how to eat
But they never found out
how much of my soul had deplete
Sometimes, it's too hard to feel
To look in the mirror and think
about how one cupcake could destroy me
and make me a pig: fat and pink
My sister came up to me
twenty minutes after I told her
"I'm glad you're still alive.
I'm glad that you'll get older."
And that's when I decided
I'm going to beat this thing
I'm going to win
no matter what; I'll do anything
M.C.M
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 9:36 PM UTC
The only thing warmer
than the embrace of the ocean
is the warmth of your arms
that triggers my emotions
Every day, people question
why my heart chose you
but the Princess chose the stable boy
because he was the one who knew
how to treat her right
to keep her safe and loved
and that reason might not make sense
but that's the reason he's beloved
by only me, the one who looks past
his crude nature that's slowly disappeared
maybe it's my doing
maybe he holds my opinion dear
to his heart and his decisions
but I'll love him any way
he decides to be
I'll always choose to stay
M.C.M
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 9:32 PM UTC
Snow, snow
constantly falling.
Why can't it go
away and stop stalling
the inevitable boring
classes and stuff
but instead I'm snoring
and surrounded by fluff
My muscles, or rather the lack of,
cannot take the constant movement
of shovel and snow. Punishing my love
of the bad weather and it makes me lament
The days of snowmen and such are gone
slipping through my fingers like the white
powdery snow that falls on the lawn
as I continue to do what is "right".
Trapped in a house with colder souls
oblivious to the sharp ice in my heart
as I watch my siblings happily roll
in the white snow. just a part
of the big wide world
That I do not fit in
my empty shell curled
into a lonely mass of sin
M.C.M
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 9:27 PM UTC
They feel like breathing
For the very first time
And the only thing I can gasp
is your name and I'm
finally pretty **** close
to feeling happy, maybe free
It doesn't matter if people
stare and laugh because I'll be
In different mindset
High in those clouds
That smell of your jacket
and the echo of your name loud.
They squeal when they do the math
put two and two together
They spit out my name like
disbelief, but there are worse to weather.
Clothes pulled and coats cover
The prints I'll never explain
to my parents, for they'd not understand
How much I crave for you again and again
They call you the pervert, the gross one
obsessed with the next hookup
But it's really mostly me
whose *** drive will really drub.
M.C.M
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 7:10 PM UTC
I can't really pinpoint the exact
moment I knew I loved you. Maybe it
was when we met and you were the only
person to look me in the eye. Maybe
during one of the many annoying
touches and shoves you often give me, I
suddenly realized I liked it. Maybe it
was when I looked over and happened
to catch your eye from across the room.
Maybe it was when you were
uncharacteristically quiet and sweet
when my head was too loud. Maybe it
was when you put your arm around her
waist, still joking with me like
everything was normal. Maybe it was
when I was alone and I thought of you.
Maybe it was when I was crying and my
friend sent a snapshot of you, lifting
the pressure from my chest. Maybe it
was when I first felt that warm squeeze
in my chest when I thought of your
hands. Maybe it was when I woke up
from a dream of you and couldn't
breathe. Maybe it was when I tried to
picture your face when my hands
grasped your shoulder and my lips
pressed to your cheek. Maybe it was
just there all along. Maybe the stars in
the universe were just right at two am
on a normal day. Maybe.
M.C.M
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 7:04 PM UTC
So this is why they call it
falling
you're looking at the view and then you're hit
Cupid's arrow pushed me off as I'm calling
your name.
It's like a song on my tongue
and nothing else will be the same
and even though I am so young
and nothing could ever happen between
you and me.
I fall anyways, a broken young teen
who can only see what she wants to be
and the one who could love her
if only he'd try,
And even though she is sure
She still wants to cry
because out of all of the boys in the whole wide world
she wants the foul-mouthed boy
yeah, she wants to be his girl.
It's funny how someone who gives me so much joy
can also cause me so much pain
in the heart, in the chest
on the lips, in the brain.
Why couldn't I want the best?
when you aren't near,
I can talk myself out.
You're an ****** dear
and you do like to shout.
Yet my brain finds you endearing
and I know I can't stop
even though you can't be hearing
these words, my heart seems to pop
out of my rib cage when you're here.
Everything else goes away
and even if your intentions are unclear,
somehow that is a-okay.
My whole being manages to see
every little detail of you
somehow liking me.
And that's how I know my eyes are untrue
Because even if I'm somehow deluded
by the big black jacket and big brown eyes,
there's a place in your heart where I'm not included
just because I have such a good disguise
So in the end, I can't love you
it's like swimming with a 140 pound brick
yet, I still do
even though it makes my logic sick.
And as I drown in my emotions,
sinking down with a smile.
As I drown in that ocean,
I hope to see you in a while.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
it's like an ember
consuming my brain since
October. Soon September
will come and his presence
will alight the soothed coals.
it's like a laugh that starts small
but then it fills all the souls
around you because you've lost all
control. You're gasping for air
and your sides hurt, yet
you love it, you don't care
about the pain you've had to have met
to get that feeling.
it's like a disease.
when you find out, you're reeling
but eventually, you're at an odd kind of ease.
You know you can't stop it,
there's nothing you can do
at this point it's the source of all of the ****
in your life. And still, you
can't remember what it's like to
feel normal and you end up not
minding at all. you don't rue
that it will **** you and make you grow cold
before you've gotten to live your life
because despite it all, you pretend you'll grow old
and have a future with no strife.
M.C.M
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 6:39 PM UTC
and in an instant
I am alone.
The storm rages on
with the one I can't hone.
the emotions overflow
the ones I struggle to hide
the ones I must contain
the ones I keep inside
I don't know where they came from
I just want them to leave
None of them make sense
and they make me want to heave
maybe I will talk with her
even though it is no use
because every time I need to lean
on her, she has a good excuse
"I'm here if you need me"
All you have to offer is biology
I don't need reasons, I need comfort
you've never heard of that policy?
It's funny; I seem put together
but no one knows the half of it
I only seem put together
because I have to ********
everything I've ever done
that wasn't pure passion
in fact, I've found that lots of things
seem to follow in this fashion.
Give me a chance to decide,
to sing, to love, to breathe
Give me a chance to strive
and wear my heart on my sleeve
I'm not special
no matter what they tell me
I'm not really good at anything
and there's nothing I could be.
Of course, many people have Ideas
but I don't want to care.
I mean, I do anyways
because I don't dare
to defy my parents
even though I do in my mind
and my soul,
blood and law bind
me to their ideologies
and their religion and their behavior
so I'll continue to wait for the boy
who will be my savior.
Because it sure as hell won't be Jesus
who'll take me in his arms
and kiss away my tears
and kiss away the girl she harms
M.C.M
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 6:29 PM UTC
rain drops tip toe
and dance through my window
the brilliant light
illuminates the night
and as the thunder roars
my heart rate soars.
The world is alive now
and all I can wonder is how
I will ever sleep
if this weather decides to keep
letting itself go
because in these moments, I know
that where there is beauty so dear,
there is also fear
M.C.M
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 6:19 PM UTC