lydiaduhhhh - Hello Poetry

One day you’re in your early 20s pulled over on a side road crying you’re unsure about life scared and alone the next thing you know time goes by the struggle becomes your strength it’s years later you’re on that very same street buying your first home happy and alone

0

Apr 8

Apr 8, 2026 at 6:08 AM UTC

my house

One day you’re in your early 20s pulled over on a side road crying you’re unsure about life scared and alone the next thing you know time goes by the struggle becomes your strength it’s years later you’re on that very same street buying your first home happy and alone

12

I don’t get under the influence to become anything I get under the influence to hide from it the buzz can flip a switch from stress to euphoria better than ten years of therapy ever could

0

Mar 21

Mar 21, 2026 at 6:42 PM UTC

power of alcohol

I don’t get under the influence to become anything I get under the influence to hide from it the buzz can flip a switch from stress to euphoria better than ten years of therapy ever could

3

It feels like my hand has a mind of its own, it darts up to my hair and grabs it to pull as naturally as I blink my eyes It’s a habit, but a different kind of one Trichotillomania An invisible monster that takes control of my body and makes my scalp beg to be pulled till I break off the hair or pull it out entirely A monster in my head that tells me over and over again It isn’t perfect yet, this hair is crunchy and needs to go anyway, everyone can see this flaw and it’s ****** just one more time and this time it will be right, it will be enough A voice telling me you’re not worthy makes me duck my eyes from others gaze My mind manipulates me every time I lift my arm to my head A deep sense of mistrust is instilled within me because I keep lying to my own mind every time I relapse The checking in the mirror, the brushes I have tucked in places, the scissors I hide to clip away my imperfections only to hand make my own ugliness, Creating the image of myself I see in my head even though I deeply don’t want to at the same time, I’m held captive by this other part of me that won’t let go of my self destruction I hate it and I like it I hate that I like it It feels good but it hurts I want to disappear when I’m unraveling, my heart burns with shame with every hair I shed

0

Mar 21

Mar 21, 2026 at 6:31 PM UTC

Its a Trich

It feels like my hand has a mind of its own, it darts up to my hair and grabs it to pull as naturally as I blink my eyes It’s a habit, but a different kind of one Trichotillomania An invisible monster that takes control of my body and makes my scalp beg to be pulled till I break off the hair or pull it out entirely A monster in my head that tells me over and over again It isn’t perfect yet, this hair is crunchy and needs to go anyway, everyone can see this flaw and it’s ****** just one more time and this time it will be right, it will be enough A voice telling me you’re not worthy makes me duck my eyes from others gaze My mind manipulates me every time I lift my arm to my head A deep sense of mistrust is instilled within me because I keep lying to my own mind every time I relapse The checking in the mirror, the brushes I have tucked in places, the scissors I hide to clip away my imperfections only to hand make my own ugliness, Creating the image of myself I see in my head even though I deeply don’t want to at the same time, I’m held captive by this other part of me that won’t let go of my self destruction I hate it and I like it I hate that I like it It feels good but it hurts I want to disappear when I’m unraveling, my heart burns with shame with every hair I shed

16

In life you spend a lot of time avoiding hurting someone’s feelings, or even your own But What If there’s more to life than we limit ourselves to “feeling” there is and confront it? What if feelings control everything and yet feelings are invisible? Love is just a chemical reaction in our brain that can happen over and over again at anytime and yet we treat it as a rare feeling or thing Are we searching for meaning in everything so hard we can’t see that it was with us the whole time?

0

Mar 19

Mar 19, 2026 at 9:19 PM UTC

Youniverse

In life you spend a lot of time avoiding hurting someone’s feelings, or even your own But What If there’s more to life than we limit ourselves to “feeling” there is and confront it? What if feelings control everything and yet feelings are invisible? Love is just a chemical reaction in our brain that can happen over and over again at anytime and yet we treat it as a rare feeling or thing Are we searching for meaning in everything so hard we can’t see that it was with us the whole time?

8

No one notices that I’m gone I can leave a place and no one will ask where I went If I were a ghost, at least then someone would come looking for me Im the most unseen person I know of, the most easily forgotten about because no one remembers me in the first place I see the people alive and living but their eyes look right through me as if I’m just in a dream Nothing is real when no one is paying attention Nothing really happened if it didn’t make a difference to you right? I’m the worker ant carrying the crumbs to the queen just to get close to the throne The background character to fill in the void of the scene but not mentioned in the credits To be a ghost would mean at least I’m something

0

Mar 19

Mar 19, 2026 at 11:14 AM UTC

If I were a ghost

No one notices that I’m gone I can leave a place and no one will ask where I went If I were a ghost, at least then someone would come looking for me Im the most unseen person I know of, the most easily forgotten about because no one remembers me in the first place I see the people alive and living but their eyes look right through me as if I’m just in a dream Nothing is real when no one is paying attention Nothing really happened if it didn’t make a difference to you right? I’m the worker ant carrying the crumbs to the queen just to get close to the throne The background character to fill in the void of the scene but not mentioned in the credits To be a ghost would mean at least I’m something

11

my mom drove a head start bus for awhile when I was in pre-k she would tell the little kids who were bored to look out the window for pink elephants I remember thinking she was a good mom because she let me in on the secret and the kids thought she was cool our opinion on what’s considered good can be wrong even when our intentions are right I never believed in pink elephants but I did believe in her

0

Apr 11, 2025

Apr 11, 2025 at 10:19 PM UTC

Pink elephants

my mom drove a head start bus for awhile when I was in pre-k she would tell the little kids who were bored to look out the window for pink elephants I remember thinking she was a good mom because she let me in on the secret and the kids thought she was cool our opinion on what’s considered good can be wrong even when our intentions are right I never believed in pink elephants but I did believe in her

5

I’ll take the test And fail it on purpose Because I wanted to

0

Apr 11, 2025

Apr 11, 2025 at 9:15 PM UTC

What feels good

I’ll take the test And fail it on purpose Because I wanted to

4

Life has been all ****** No ****** The build up is great but the letdown leaves me feeling cheap

0

Apr 9, 2025

Apr 9, 2025 at 4:13 PM UTC

Lately

Life has been all ****** No ****** The build up is great but the letdown leaves me feeling cheap

3

I put my heels in the sand at the bottom of the towel and kicked my feet like a kid A squeal of joy just loud enough for me to hear burst out and I looked at my toes now covered in soft, white earth Cant believe I got myself here My younger self is so proud for making a dream come true when there were so many times I never thought I could do this The sun warmed my skin and I flopped back on the towel and looked up at the bahama blue sky In this moment I’m so glad to be alive I detailed the scene in my mind like a photograph just for me and took one more sip of my endless strawberry margarita

0

Mar 13, 2025

Mar 13, 2025 at 10:09 AM UTC

bahama dream

I put my heels in the sand at the bottom of the towel and kicked my feet like a kid A squeal of joy just loud enough for me to hear burst out and I looked at my toes now covered in soft, white earth Cant believe I got myself here My younger self is so proud for making a dream come true when there were so many times I never thought I could do this The sun warmed my skin and I flopped back on the towel and looked up at the bahama blue sky In this moment I’m so glad to be alive I detailed the scene in my mind like a photograph just for me and took one more sip of my endless strawberry margarita

7

I’m so happy I have created a home That I want to come back to

0

Mar 2, 2025

Mar 2, 2025 at 8:55 AM UTC

Happy Home

I’m so happy I have created a home That I want to come back to

4