It's a comfortable silence and oh-so inviting.
Sometimes I'll miss the voices, though.
There's more hugs, but less laughter-
Smiles are almost extinct.
I try to picture crawling outside, but
I guess I'm not welcome out there.
I'm always tired, and thinking becomes difficult.
The mush in my skull likes to think it's a brain.
I wish I had a smoke.
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 7:44 PM UTC
This decision isn't easy
I wish I could let this happen
I have so much I want to say
You're my miracle, my blessing
Disguised as a mistake
I love you, I want you
But we both know I can't.
I'm sorry, I truly am.
You're mine, I made you
I never want to hurt you
This is all for you
Please, forgive me.
Mar 20, 2013
Mar 20, 2013 at 12:59 AM UTC
I'm smiling down at my defeat
Don't start to question how I think
Just soak in the beauty that only comes
From our single, absolute destruction
Ask me again how it is that I know
So many facts, but won't let them go
My fairy-tales, you see, keep me sane
They allow me to dream, not to say the same
For those I love; they must forget
All the things that they regret
Their lives have meaning, more for them
Than those who sink above their sin
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 3:07 AM UTC
Yet another sleepless night in this cold, empty space
What other option do I have but fall right into place?
Full of memories and truths that never seem to end
Despite how much apart of me wishes I could send
Each little fragment of all those times far back into my mind
I suppose it's meant to stay this way, but trust me, I am fine.
Oct 23, 2012
Oct 23, 2012 at 9:59 PM UTC
The guilt I feel
Cannot compare
To the pain I caused,
It's overbearing,
Wearing me down;
I can't go on.
Let me dream
A dreamless sleep,
Let me never wake.
Oct 10, 2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 8:50 PM UTC
If I had one wish,
It'd be to fly away
To a world I can live in,
To a land of decay.
Happiness, fulfillment
Are only illusions.
I want what is real!
Not lies and allusions.
Sep 24, 2012
Sep 24, 2012 at 5:10 AM UTC
Maybe it's time to move on
Maybe it's time to change
I'm not always for the melodramatic
But honestly I don't care
The words are too strong
The feelings are too deep
Why let yourself fall
If no one's willing to catch you?
To pick yourself back up
To force yourself to smile
I guess it's time to move on
I guess it's time to change
Sep 11, 2012
Sep 11, 2012 at 3:38 PM UTC
I’m not sure how I am without it
Not anymore, it’s ******* toxic
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Just down another and forget to
Sleep, eat, or anything else
Just go out, smoke, get out of the house
What now? I’m broke with nothing to lose
Take another one, don’t worry, not like you can choose
It’s your lifeline, your sanity, I’m so ******* done
With these schedules and meals, just hand me a gun
I won’t shoot it, not right, I’ll aim for the temple
Maybe then I can relax and try to stay mellow
**** now I can’t show her, she’ll think I’m insane
For wanting to shoot my own one-sided brain
**** me, I’m tired, I don’t want this anymore
Cure me, ******* doctors, what else is there in store?
More pills, more help, more mother ******* ****
I’m done with this, with you, I’m tired of it.
Don’t tell me I have this, I don’t want to believe you
I’ll keep living my life as if I can do a “re-do”
Whatever, it’s fine, I’ll deal as I go
I don’t need this, I have this, just won’t let it show
Don’t judge me, don’t hate me, because of this ****
Grow up, acknowledge, I’m living with it.
Jul 28, 2012
Jul 28, 2012 at 3:26 AM UTC
Take a deep breath
Just breathe
Life is beautiful
Not just as it seems
Look for the good
In all of the bad things
Don't let it turn you
Look for the meaning
Life is more
Than what you can see
Relax, and reflect
And let yourself be
Jul 18, 2012
Jul 18, 2012 at 4:39 PM UTC
Sleep becomes my sanctuary
Where else is there to hide?
My fear is my reality
It's hidden on the inside.
Save me from my slumber
I'm sick of hiding here.
I can't keep going under,
Running from this fear
Of love, of lust, of loneliness.
I'm scared of life itself.
Save me from this holiness
Of living in self doubt.
I'm stronger than I'll ever know.
This, I want to reach:
A realization I want to show,
And wish every soul to keep.
We all are perfect, pure and strong.
We all are capable of more.
If we just strive and we just long
To reach our full potential
I'm sure we'll reach nirvana,
I'm sure we'll reach our heaven,
For hell's a place we're all in.
Jul 12, 2012
Jul 12, 2012 at 12:12 AM UTC