I remember everytime you’d tell me a story of how i broke youre heart.
how it was my fault you couldnt recover
screamed in my face
made sure i knew how you hated me so much
made sure i knew that i had broken your heart.
but i recall it the other way around
everynight you’d scream into a pillow
blame everyone around you for the mess, you made
empty your emotions into a bottle of pills, each day and not one was ever enough
i wanted to please you i wanted to make you happy
you came home everyday and screamed into that pillow about how
everyone was after you
you broke my heart destroying the body i loved more than my own
you broke my heart destroying your body, the one i loved more than my own.
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 11:13 PM UTC
i want to rip off my skin
i want to rearrange my parts
and remove my fat.
i dont want to go outside anymore
the sun hurts my eyes and
people hurt my heart.
i want to stay inside for weeks on end
until i dont know of feelings again
i want to ignore the world
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 7:34 PM UTC
tobacco stains everything
it stains my lungs
my love
my life
my brain
it makes me feel alive
it makes me feel okay
and i've started to believe i’ve become addicted
as the shakes start to settle
and the energy begins to flood through my body
motivating me and immobilizing me
i can't stop smoking and i can't believe it's gotten this far
i believe that
this will take over my life
as much as i don't want it to
it soothes my thoughts
but not my hands
i promised myself i wouldn’t get addicted
not become a slave to the industry that ***** me in
the nicotine keeps me coming back every time
everything keeps me coming back
i literally can't handle the thought of being addicted again
addicted to the thoughts of being addicted
after i drank
after i took
after i smoked
i couldn't be without it
it makes me admits things i'm too afraid to admit to sober
it makes everything come out easier
i want someone to understand that this
makes me afraid
afraid for myself, my life
it makes me afraid that this will be something that ***** my money away
penny by penny
i thought that this would be something easy to quit after so many years of abusing it
i thought that this was something that i could handle
i thought
and i thought
and i guess that’s whats brought me here
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 7:31 PM UTC
and maybe if we burn
I can show you
all we are made of
is fragile skin and bone
we can drench ourselves
in kerosene
like the first rain of spring
we can find god in the rain.
all of these scars mean nothing
if we burn
all we are, are skin and bone
muscle means nothing to gasoline
love means nothing to wildfires.
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 12:59 PM UTC
an image of you is branded into my brain and I can promise you these scars dont fade. when I close my eyes this image of you turns gold, metal, and then begins to rust.
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 2:48 AM UTC
I thought sucess was the answer
until i saw those CEOs
throw their fortune
and their families away
with bottles of jack
that seemed to keep them warmer
than whatever life they were living.
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 12:11 AM UTC
I want to wake up in a world
where I feel whole
without you in it.
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 7:14 PM UTC
Before today,
I spent nights looking at the stars,
and the moon,
knowing that anywhere you were,
you were also looking at the same sky I was.
day after day knowing
that no matter where the stars were in the sky
you saw them too.
No matter where the sun sat,
you were looking too.
Here we are,
almost three months along
and I look at the sky
and all its stars
and regret it all.
Because no matter where you are,
weather you be sober,
or dazed and confused,
strung out,
or stressed out,
behind the windsheild of your jeep
you see the same thing I do
but with through different eyes.
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 5:08 AM UTC
You told me my lips were perfect
that my kisses gave you hope
but apparently not enough
to make you stay.
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 17, 2015 at 4:58 AM UTC
my life has been an empty canvas since you left
all my paintings have been
in shades of grey and black
and they've been of your smile
and your red high eyes.
Oct 16, 2015
Oct 16, 2015 at 5:02 PM UTC