my depression keeps growing
my depression keeps changing
in middle school my depression was simpler
i was depressed because of my insecurities
i valued my physical appearance too much and believed i could never be beautiful
i thought i could never be more depressed than i was then
now i only wish those insecurites were my only issues
i no longer have those same beliefs
and i wonder if i got over them earlier would my depression have never continued
in high school my depression cared about society
i cared about what people thought
and it cared about how many friends i had
the insecurities grew and anxiety developed
i couldn’t value myself and became distracted
i woke up without intent
after high school my depression became less selfish
i worried about those who’ve spent so much on me
the financial strain i’ve been causing
i thought about those i’ve disconnected with
my depression keeps growing even when i try to stop it
my attempts always fall short
the pain keeps growing
and i’m still depressed
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 5:58 PM UTC
my pain is fighting
fighting me
fighting to stay
my hopes are beaten down
and my soul is bleeding
it’s stronger than me
and this is a fight i can’t win
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 5:24 PM UTC
i say the only thing i want is to be happy
i pray for it
and am disappointed that i still don’t have it
is no one listening
is no one rooting for me
but maybe it’s a bigger ask than i thought
maybe i should do more than ask
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 4:18 PM UTC
give the sun a chance
don’t only rely on the moon to give you comfort
go to sleep
it takes time
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 4:18 PM UTC
whats wrong with living under a rock
often i don’t feel sunshine anyway
day dreaming brings me closer to a path
solitude is a blessing
i wanna throw my phone away
i wanna walk uninterrupted
i want rain to be the loudest sound i hear
you’re next to be me but you’re not
i need to be alone in case i cry
i’m not ignoring you
let me meet with myself today
i'll talk to you tomorrow
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 4:16 PM UTC
the rain is comfortable for hiding
it’s the loudest noise in the house
so they can’t hear my crying
thank you for being a shield
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 4:15 PM UTC
i want to be alone but i want to be wanted
i don’t want be hurt by others
so i don’t notice that I’m hurting myself
do they really not care about me
or do i crave too much
i wallow in loneliness so i don’t feel unwanted up close
but now i don’t want me
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 4:13 PM UTC