I have committed suicide already, it's just all on the inside
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 4:22 PM UTC
Yesterday was too much,
I don’t want any more
The only thing I see now is
This stone floor-cold city,
The core of these rows
An institution for dying flesh
Joy-sterilized by apathy
Monotonous death-bringing concrete
My heart barely beats
I get nauseated when moving
[Sample from a Swedish children’s show:]
“A hermit, what does this say? a hermit wants to live alone, he can’t stand the sights or sounds of other people”
“I’ve reached a conclusion, there’s no place for me in this world”
“My book isn’t for sale, and I don’t want to be disturbed by anyone. Good bye”
A soul colored like ashes
A city, a block of misery
Continuous woe
I love you
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 4:18 PM UTC
Fast boiling heat
Passes like a bullet
But with more pain
More suffering
Burns down to the bone
And past bone and flesh
To the soul
Burns and blood
A hot mess
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 4:17 PM UTC
This world, is disgusting.
Filled with wild beasts
whom we walk with and upon
everyday.
Beasts in disguise,
vile ignorance,
they horrify me.
I'm also a beast
and i hate my kind.
I have something different
something the other ones dont have
I dont know what it is
nor will i ever
But it's there
as a weapon
and a blessing
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 4:12 PM UTC
If there was a way to stop my blood
Build a dam next to my heart
To stop my broken emotions from flood
I'd much rather die alone
Eternal youth means nothing to me
My loneliness eats me away
And I'm reminded everyday
The hopelessness so strong...overpowering
Enough to change who you are
As it did to me
A different person is what I am
****** up is what I am
Angry is what I am
Depressed is what I am
Anxious is what I am
Worthlessness… nearly a character wearing my skin
Others inform me otherwise
But you know as well as I
Words are nothing, show me something
I need support as much as I want
I long to love
Unfortunately seeming impossible
As self-esteem is brainwashing
Yet convincing enough, that you're "incompatabl"
Therefore I fear no one will reach out to me
Heart to heart
Hand to hand
Somebody show me this passion
Quickly…please
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 6:45 PM UTC
Red, flows the rivers of blood
Escaping from my arm and wrist
All memories of course
Since i refuse to pick up the blade
But the longer i stare at the healing scars
The greater my temptation grows
A violent addiction
Like a lion in a cage
The strange urge is kept away yet another day
And for that I am grateful, but for what?
Surely it won't hurt to go at it again
The wounds heal, the scars fade, no?
Never the less, I won't do it
I've come to far, to throw my towel
And in all of this, my friends
I believe there's a message to receive
If you are to find me
With the monster's claws on my arm
Then truly you will know
Something is very wrong
© Luca Abate
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 10:26 PM UTC
It jumps back to feeling so alone
And its scary, the worlds a scary place
And i don't feel like i have a hand i can reach out to
So i can take baby steps back into the water
But it's a lose lose situation
If i stay back and isolate, i lose
If i go out and do things, i lose
When I stay in my room i grieve
But when I go out
I have more to grieve about
I lose, and I lose, and I just keep losing
And somehow getting help wasn't enough
And now things are progressively worse
Just so....so....so bad
My feelings jump large gaps
"I'm fine, leave me alone"
"I hate it here, i want to **** myself"
"I can't think, i'm getting anxious"
My GAD kills me
Everyday becoming anxious of when ill become anxious
Anxiety gets the best of me
Anxiety makes my wrists bleed
Anxiety makes me yell and scream
Anxiety.....just hates me
I want to **** it
I want to **** others
Left, right, left, right
I can't cry but...i do sometimes
And then i lose inspiration
and unfortunately i end this poem
cuz i forgot what to say
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 1:49 AM UTC
Let the blood from your forehead
Trickle down your face
So you can witness
The Thinners Of The Herd
© Luca Abate
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 9:09 PM UTC
your precious time ends now
others will see your distress
you filthy disgusting cow
i'll make sure your body will be left a mess
your life shall end at the end of a noose
or shall i go for a more painful approach?
have blood flow from your back like juice
crush your throat under my foot like a roach
do you understand how badly i want you to die?
i'm going to crucify you somewhere where everyone will see
just why your nowhere as good as me
© Luca Abate
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 10:29 PM UTC
violent thoughts
broken feelings
execration
as i walk this earth
no release
from what's built inside
i try to fight it
through living lies
how can this be
everyone just makes me sick
when will the pressure
build up so high
that i can no longer
keep it inside of me
the struggle inside
that plagues me
will be released
upon the human race
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 22, 2015 at 8:34 PM UTC