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lovelydread
lovelydread
I am no one anymore..... someone resides in the mind of this lost soul, this lost body, this lost.. i dont know what...it's just lost....am i dead?... i guess i'll never know then...(something from before *age always renewed*) / / I'm young, just wanting to express myself freely. I write to let my feelings go, I read to feel the feelings of others. I love to sing, listen to music, and writing anytime I can. In real life I'm not always social. Online, my soul is set free. I want to know what people think, truthfully, of my writings. I'm an awkward 18 yr old girl that can play rough like the boys. ...if you read my poems, then you may see parts of the soul that I may or may not have...any questions? ask and I'll answer when I'm on. if you want to fuck up my head, your to late, if you want to fuck up my heart, i dare you to try, if you want to fuck up my life, that's still happening, so you might as well join in... i'm nothing, no one... just an empty vessle.... so hello, welcome to me....
I was gone Now I'm back I have demons that followed me I have a story to share I tried to run from the monster within But they followed They chase and hurt me Everyday I'm broken and bruised But not so you physically see I put myself down I found out I have PTSD and depression Yea I know it seems I want attention I just want to talk it out Maybe find some things out Well I'm back Hi....
0
Jul 1, 2016
Jul 1, 2016 at 10:34 AM UTC
Hello again
If I had to I would put myself right beside you So let me ask Would you like that? Would you like that? And I don't mind If you say this love is the last time So now I'll ask Do you like that? Do you like that? No! Something's getting in the way. Something's just about to break. I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane. So tell me how it should be. Try to find out what makes you tick. As I lie down Sore and sick. Do you like that? Do you like that? There's a fine line between love and hate. And I don't mind. Just let me say that I like that I like that Something's getting in the way. Something's just about to break. I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane. As I burn another page, As I look the other way. I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane. So tell me how it should be. Desperate, I will crawl Waiting for so long No love, there is no love. Die for anyone What have I become? Something's getting in the way. Something's just about to break. I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane. As I burn another page, As I look the other way. I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
0
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 12:43 PM UTC
The Diary Of Jane by Breaking Benjamin
Slip away, your vanity is gone, I'm falling out of place We all fall down, the pain goes on We bear through the war and turn the lost away We all fall down, the pain goes on And I'll be the fire that dries the flood As I fight for one last prayer, I keep holding on No love to believe in As I drag the Devil down, I will stand alone No longer defeated Stripped away, we rise above it all, forgotten and betrayed We all fall down, the pain goes on No better than before, still broken and afraid We all fall down, the pain goes on And I'll be the cloud that hides the sun As I fight for one last prayer, I keep holding on No love to believe in As I drag the Devil down, I will stand alone No longer defeated I'm falling to pieces, pained and used I know what I needed, it's not you It's not you As I fight for one last prayer, I keep holding on No love to believe in As I drag the Devil down, I will stand alone No longer defeated No longer defeated No longer defeated
0
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 2, 2015 at 12:37 PM UTC
Defeated by Breaking Benjamin
where is the innocence of old that beauty which lies in the deeper waters what happened to the young maidens and hero's whom we all seem to want and/or admire they've gone, they've gone to a world beyond our greed and terror they've gone, they've gone leaving behind our horror where is the knight to save the day the one that most girls dream of late at night what happened to the hero's we need the one's whom we need everyday they've gone, they've gone to a world beyond our greed and terror they've gone, they've gone leaving behind our horror though young at heart and age i'm a seasoned fighter with my love and partner by my side we've gone through much while seperate and there's much to go, side by side we will go, we will go taking with us our love we've gone, we've gone to our world we created with light the warriors we left after combat they've gone, they've gone and i say good bye because we've gone, we've gone and our life is just beginning
0
May 29, 2015
May 29, 2015 at 8:21 AM UTC
Warrior's
why is it when i see you all i can do is stand and stare i want to run to be wild and free wont you help me be free if not, then why will it hurt you if yes, then dont help i dont want nice people to be hurt cuz nice people shouldnt have the pain leave it to me then ill take the pain but ill still run and be free oneday maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but someday oneday thats when ill make sure all the nice people are free to be who they want to be but for now we all fall and its so enticing that little blade we see sorry that i see to stroke the beautiful glinting metal oh so beautiful i wonder how it would feel to let my life drain not all of it just a little but that would take some serious numbness which takes more courage LIFE OR DEATH???? but of course i wont do anything as im told over and over again *there is always someone with worse going on in their life so be happy for what you do have* well hell i already know that so why remind me oh yea i know why *cuz my lifes not worth **** oh well ill get over it just stop telling me about others lives that are worse I ALREADY KNOW THAT why do you think i dont sighs oh well, bye for now, i guess
0
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 9:24 AM UTC
messed up BS
once twice thrice i rock back and forth and hit my head on the wall i cry then laugh at all who see i'm insane nice to meet you to bad for you cuz you met me im gonna die and then you'll see im no longer nice so how did i become me you hurt me you hit me yet im not broken im just cracking little by little turning into alot by alot im cracking up hehehehe guess what nevermind about what you think life is cuz thats not life im dead did you know that i'm a figment of your imagination didn't know you were so distrubed huh hehehe you made me in your mind cuz you have no one else to blame so i guess you blame me you give me all the pain all the torture all the crazy i'm insane nice to meet you i think meaning you think cuz i'm in your imagination hehehe you'll never know someone as ****** up as me because i'm your ****** up imaginery person hehehe welcome to my home your head but since im the worst of you i have my own head i hide there so noone can come get me to remove me hehehe but you know what nothing will save you from me and since im the worst of you there is no best of or from me hehehe you ****** up royally this time hehehehehehehe............
0
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 2:20 PM UTC
****** up
I have one person he is my only forever and always I never want to let him go he is my love my heart my life my breath my thoughts my soul I never want to be without him he is mine and I am his forever and always may we never part in hurt or hatred but be together in love and joyousness he makes me happy and I make him laugh I love him for him just as he loves me for me and I can't wait to be with him to be completely his because he lives in my heart he is my heart he has me and I will always do my best to show my love for him everyday for having him I'm overly grateful overly thankful and I'll never hurt him I love him he is my heart my soul my love *Tengo una persona él es mi único Por siempre y para siempre No quiero volver a dejarlo ir el es mi amor mi corazón mi vida mi respiración mis pensamientos mi alma No quiero volver a estar sin él él es mío y yo soy su Por siempre y para siempre puede que nunca hemos participado en dolor o el odio pero estar juntos en el amor y alegría el me hace feliz y hago reír Lo amo por él tal como él me ama para mí y no puedo esperar para estar con él para ser completamente su porque vive en mi corazón él es mi corazón él me tiene y yo siempre haré lo mejor para demostrar mi amor por él todos los días por haberle estoy demasiado agradecido excesivamente agradecido y nunca lo haré daño Me encanta él es mi corazón mi alma mi amor*
0
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 11:00 AM UTC
My love (Mi amor)
“No one understands me. I don’t want any of these guys; they just won’t leave me alone!” I said to my best friend, Sarah Heart. “Well, Μαρία, try not to look so nice!” I am 17; long black hair, hazel eyes, and deep red lips, am about 5’8”, and have unusually pale skin. “I don’t ever look nice, and you know it! Besides, you’re the one who looks great, one of the best in Femenino.” Sarah is 16, long blond hair, blue eyes, pale pink lips, is about 5’, and has very tan skin. “They only like me because I am almost of age.” Here on Femenino, when a girl turns 18, she is ready to be wed. The guys are born with their wings patterns. When the girl decides to marry a certain person, she will mirror the design the guy has after they both say their vows. “Μαρία, why do you always talk down about yourself?” Sarah said. “I don’t know, but can we discuss this tomorrow? I’m tired.” “Ok, but tomorrow we’ll talk about who you’re going to marry. You only have 1 week left to decide.” “Ok, Sarah,” I yawned, “good night, sweet dreams.” “Yeah, I’ll have sweet dreams, of the prince marrying me!” she said with a devilish grin. No one knew the prince’s real name, so we just called him ‘prince’. We laughed at that, “but, good night, girl, we will definitely talk tomorrow.” I fell into a fitful sleep, plagued with the question of who I was to marry in 1 week. Raven black hair, one eye brown, one eye black, tall, tan, and body like a warrior.” kiss me, Μαρία” he said, “Never leave me, please.” “I won’t leave you, ever, I swear.” I woke up, not knowing who the man was. ‘Well, all I know is, it’s time to make a new potion.’ “Ok, let’s see, a bit of baby’s breath, wild flower, lilac blossoms, and a pinch of rose petals. Ok, add them in boiling water, mmmmm that smells good. Hmm, now, before the dream with him, what did I do with the potion? Oh, yeah, I dabbed it behind the ears, and everyone was happy to see me, even, surprisingly, the girls.” “Maybe I shouldn’t try it, because some of the girls have never liked me, and I’m probably going to forget what I did, and wonder why they are happy to see me all day, I’m always forgetting things, that’s why I put all my spells in a book, after all.” I mumbled to myself. I went to write it down, calling it the ‘Like Me’ spell. Ok, I have the ‘Love’ potion, a few body, hair, and ****** changing spells, a ‘Find it’ spell, a spell to bind the heart to a specific person. Oh, cute, I still have the spell I made when I was seven, so my heart wouldn’t break if I found a guy, but I didn’t cast it because then I would be sad in the end if I never found the guy I had asked for. ‘Oh, boy, I’m going off to dreamland again. Sigh, will I ever find my kind of guy?’ Well, the only thing that could be worse is the prince picking for me, well, except that we were born on the same day, but at different times, he was born about an hour before me in a room next to me, and since he’s royalty, he chooses a wife before I choose a husband, and I will be mortified since I have to stand next to him, but I doubt anyone would want me as a wife because I’m, in my Aunt Feranium’s words, “an inexcusable excuse of an abomination, no one could possibly want to even be near me, much less marry me”. Well, Aunt Feranium, you’ll get to see if your right or not in 1 week. Well, today I have to go meet up with some of the guys here, and get some ingredients for my potions and spells. I’m hoping at least one of the guys is ok with how I am and who I am. I guess I’ll meet with guys before I get my ingredients, so I can cheer myself up afterwards. I met with three guys for the first half hour. Each and every one of them was wealthy and smug. All I could think was, ‘I can’t wait to get away from here and finish up talking to some other guys.’ One guy, named Damien was saying, “When we get married, you will love your life.” Another named Lucas said, “No, when WE get married you will be in the laps of luxury, far more than either of these two could ever give you, Μαρία.” The third guy, named Jordan said, “We all have wealth, so why don’t we let Μαρία choose for herself?” They all turned to me and looked expectantly. I smiled politely and said, “Well, I have quite a few more people to talk with, so I must not say who of you fine,” and I almost choked on that, “gentlemen. I’m sorry to say, I must go now to meet the others. Good day.” I smiled, got up and left before they could argue/complain/persuade me to stay longer. I went to meet one of my friends, who was being forced by his mother to court/marry me. I saw him and waved. “Hey, Alejandro, what’s up?” He did a slight nod of his head, telling me his mom was nearby, eavesdropping on us. He said anyway, “Not much, but you look lovely today. How are you?” I smiled, because he was not usually like this when his mom wasn’t around. “I am fine. You don’t look so bad yourself.” He blushed, which made me smile, since he only sees me as his one of his best friends, which is the same way I feel about him. I nodded to him, letting him know his mom can no longer hear us, or see us. ‘Goodness, I love being able to do spells with little effort. I just wonder where his mom thinks we went.’ “Thanks Μαρία. So who’d you have to deal with first?” “Three rich guys.” He rolled his eyes. “Let me guess. Full of themselves and saying who you were going to marry?” “Yea, well, except the one, he actually asked ME who I’d marry. It was interesting, since no one would usually care what I thought.” “What did one of them look like?” “One, named Jordan, who asked my opinion, had short brown hair, tan skin, about 5’ 10”. A second, Damien, has medium ***** blonde hair, dark skin, about 6’. The third, Lucas, had sort of long blonde hair, sort of pale skin, about 5’9”. Why?” “I think they are following you.” He pointed behind me, and when I turned to see, there they were, a few tables over. I looked back to Alejandro, smiled, and called for a waiter. “Excuse me, could you send a note and a round of drinks to those three gentlemen over there?” I pointed to the three guys, and gave the waiter 50 coins, and a tip of 20 coins, which is our currency. He smiled and lightly bowed, for the most a waiter would usually get as tip was 5-10 coins. “What is your note?” I told him, “Chill out and have a fine day.” He nodded and did as I asked. When the guys got their drinks, I told Alejandro to come on. We left them there, and made sure they didn’t follow. We got to the market district, because, in truth, Alejandro was the only other person I was to meet. We got there and I showed him a list of ingredients I needed. The list went as follows: Dew Drops Sunlight Sun flowers Fresh Baby Laughter Freshly Fallen Snow Tear of Love Hair of a Beauty Sob of a Broken Heart A Child’s Doll Petal of a Fully Bloomed Rose Lilac Babies Breathe Final Breath of the Dying Rose Thorns He whistled low at how much I needed. I smiled; because that was the least I needed in quite a few months. We went about getting my stuff and just hung out, until we came upon Sarah, who knew me and Alejandro did not like each other, but teased us saying we did all the same. She smiled and said, “Hey lovebirds. What goes on? Oh, are you guys finally realizing you’re meant for each other and going to marry each other?” We said in unison, “No! We are not.” Alejandro scowled while I laughed. “Sure sounds like you’re meant for each other to me!” Sarah laughed while Alejandro’s scowl grew longer. I said, “Sarah stop teasing, poor Alejandro couldn’t possibly take all the scowling.” ‘And the heart break, since he’s in love with you Sarah, you just never see. I’m about to tell you straight up.’ I looked over at Alejandro and smiled, since he didn’t tell me, he didn’t know I knew, even though it was written plainly on his face, he thought he was discreet. He looked down at his feet, letting the hurt pass over his face for a brief second. “I need to get the rest of my ingredients from my list. Okay, let’s see, just a few rose thorns is all I need to get.” We went to go get them. And there, a few feet away, were the three guys again. I pointed them out to Alejandro, and he rolled his eyes. I walked straight up to them. They acted surprise to see me, I said, “Why are you following me?” They were all flustered, but Jordan said, “We weren’t following you!” “Oh, really, you three, follow me, Alejandro, Sarah, you can come to.” We went into an alley way and I continued, “So you three just happened to be at the same café only a few tables away, and then be just a few feet away from me?” They nodded in unison, and I got raged. I used a spell and had them pinned against the wall behind them and asked angrily, “Who are you working for?” They looked fearful, and Lucas said stammering, “You ought to stop, ‘cause there are witnesses.” I looked at him, “They are the only thing keeping me in check, you idiot, now, answer my questions, why were you following me and who are you working for?” They looked at each other, then at me, and swallowed loudly and hard. Damien said, “Sheesh, when we saw you, we thought you’d be no problem to us, but dang! We might as well tell her since she got us, and ‘cause I don’t know her limits.” They all nodded their heads, before looking frighteningly at me. Damien continued, “We are guards, some of the finest, and I now see we are some of the most arrogant.” I rolled my eyes. “Why were you following me?” “We were told to act as the people that we were told to be. It seems your something of interest.” I glared at them, “You’re lying.” They were wide eyed with fright. “No! That’s all that we were told!” “You two might, but he was told more, and he’s not telling.” I glared at him and came close to his face. I looked in his eyes and asked as calmly as I could, “What are you hiding?” He would not answer, so I let them go, and said, “Don’t follow me anymore! Just leave me alone.” They stayed in place, frozen with fear, but Jordan piped up, “Wow, with your strength in spells, Μαρία, would you ever consider joining the guard? We really need you and your strength.” I glared at them and said, “Go!” They ran, still not sure of my limits when I was mad. My friends burst out in laughter after the guards were well out of ear shot. They said in halting gasps, “I can’t believe you bluffed them while you were mad!” I smiled, knowing I wasn’t someone that could harm anyone. When I get angry at someone, I always try to bluff them, I guess I’ve either gotten better, or they were not good at telling my bluff. “Well at least we learned something out of this whole episode. Now, let’s get my ingredients and get back to my house, I had a dream about a new spell last night.” I felt a pair of eyes on me, but when I looked, there was nothing there. I shrugged and thought, ‘I must be getting paranoid.’ When we got back to my house, they helped me put my ingredients away, and I showed them my new ‘Like Me’ spell. “I don’t know how long it lasts, so I won’t let it be used on either of you.” I felt the eyes on my back, I turned and saw nothing. “Do either of you two feel like someone’s watching us?” They shook their heads no, Alejandro said, “Maybe you should do a spell for protection over yourself for whoever’s watching you.” I nodded, and found one that was simple to do but difficult to break through and lasted a long time. I cast it over my friends as well, who smiled when they felt the spell cover them as well. Sarah said, “Ok, now, Alejandro, shoo, me and Μαρία have a few things to talk about.” She grinned wickedly, and so he left. He said, “Bye.” And got out as quick as he could. I looked at her, “Now why’d you do that for? He doesn’t even count as a marriage choice; it’d be too much like marrying a brother.” She shrugged, “Does it matter? This is girl talk, now spill who you like.” She looked at me expectantly. “I really don’t know, I’ll just go with my gut when the time comes, okay?” She sighed dramatically, “Fine!” I laughed, “You know, it’s not your time to pick, you have a few years, and more than a few admirers.” She flipped her hair and laughed lightly, “I can’t help if guys like me, Μαρία!”She shrugged, "That's my image, Μαρία, I have to keep up with it, or I'll be ruined!" I laughed. "You can be so dramatic. You know that?" "Yea, and now I know you can be to. ‘They are the only thing keeping me in check, you idiot', nice one, especially with the idiot, it added to your tone." I looked at the floor sheepishly. "It just came to mind, and I went with it. Was I that convincing to you?" "Are you kidding, I thought you would of killed 'em on the spot! Your bluff is way better Μαρία." I smiled, "Thanks Sarah." We went about our own thoughts for an hour, until it was time for Sarah to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow Μαρία." "Okay, see ya." I flicked my wings out, mostly because I still felt like someone was watching me. I thought about my wings, and how soon I'll have a design. I remembered a type of fairy that used to exist long ago. They were called the florescent fairies. Unfortunately they died off. They all had wing patterns of their own. Even the females had their own patterns that they kept after marriage. Their wings were always so big and elaborate. I felt my wings tingling, so I went to my front door. There on my doorstep was the guard that I knew as Jordan. He was in his uniform. I said, “What do you want, Jordan, if that is really your name?” He cleared his throat. He was afraid, but put up a brave front and said, “I came for you were summoned by the head of the royal guard.” I rolled my eyes, “And why would I be summoned this late at night?” His bravado was fading when he said, “Because the head of the royal guard wants to see you now.” “Why?” His bravado was completely gone now and he was shaking in his boots, “He just wants you to come.” I rolled my eyes again, turned out the lights, and locked my house up. “Lets’ get this done and over with. I do need to sleep like others’, you know.” Then I felt magic welling up around me. I found them easily with my magic, and brought them out in front of me. I threw them all into a pile in front of me. “Tell me three good reasons I shouldn’t put you all in a magic hold that would leave you motionless for the rest of the night.” They were all struggling, and I was holding Jordan with a glare. “I am tired, and would not regret it. And you all need to learn to hide your magic. That’s how I knew where you were.” They all tried to plead for me to let them go, but with a wave of my hand, they fell silent. Jordan said stammering, “They were only supposed to be back-up in case you wouldn’t come.” I waved my pointer finger side to side, “Tsk, tsk, tsk, not nice to play tricks with me.” I used my magic to send the pile of guards back to the palace, while I looked at Jordan and said, “I told you to leave me alone.” I flicked my hand at him, and he went flying back to the palace. I went back into my house, went to my room, and after taking a hot shower, went to bed. The next morning, I got up and ready for the day. I was about to leave my home when my wings tingled. Someone was at the door. I looked through a peep hole and saw my friends, Sarah and Alejandro. I opened the door, and they came in talking at me. I couldn’t understand what they were saying, so I said, “Slow down, now what?” They started laughing. Sarah said, “Apparently, you gave all the guard’s a scare. What did you do?” I looked at them, confused for a second, and then I remembered, and told them the events of last night. They laughed, so I said, “What? I was extremely tired, I wasn’t taking their crap.” That just made them laugh harder. Alejandro said, “Remind me not to get on your bad side, Μαρία.” He chuckled and said, “Can you teach me some of your **** kicking moves?” I grinned devilishly and made to look like I was going to use it on him and said “Sure,” and mocked what I did with the guards without using my magic. We all laughed. There was a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes and yelled, “Who is it?” Whoever it was just knocked again. I went to the door and looked through the peep hole. There was no one there. I motioned my friends back, away, and I used a searching spell. I calmly looked all around my house, then finally smiled. I opened my door fast and
0
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015 at 11:05 AM UTC
Part of a story I'm working on
“No one understands me. I don’t want any of these guys; they just won’t leave me alone!” I said to my best friend, Sarah Heart. “Well, Μαρία, try not to look so nice!” I am 17; long black hair, hazel eyes, and deep red lips, am about 5’8”, and have unusually pale skin. “I don’t ever look nice, and you know it! Besides, you’re the one who looks great, one of the best in Femenino.” Sarah is 16, long blond hair, blue eyes, pale pink lips, is about 5’, and has very tan skin. “They only like me because I am almost of age.” Here on Femenino, when a girl turns 18, she is ready to be wed. The guys are born with their wings patterns. When the girl decides to marry a certain person, she will mirror the design the guy has after they both say their vows. “Μαρία, why do you always talk down about yourself?” Sarah said. “I don’t know, but can we discuss this tomorrow? I’m tired.” “Ok, but tomorrow we’ll talk about who you’re going to marry. You only have 1 week left to decide.” “Ok, Sarah,” I yawned, “good night, sweet dreams.” “Yeah, I’ll have sweet dreams, of the prince marrying me!” she said with a devilish grin. No one knew the prince’s real name, so we just called him ‘prince’. We laughed at that, “but, good night, girl, we will definitely talk tomorrow.” I fell into a fitful sleep, plagued with the question of who I was to marry in 1 week. Raven black hair, one eye brown, one eye black, tall, tan, and body like a warrior.” kiss me, Μαρία” he said, “Never leave me, please.” “I won’t leave you, ever, I swear.” I woke up, not knowing who the man was. ‘Well, all I know is, it’s time to make a new potion.’ “Ok, let’s see, a bit of baby’s breath, wild flower, lilac blossoms, and a pinch of rose petals. Ok, add them in boiling water, mmmmm that smells good. Hmm, now, before the dream with him, what did I do with the potion? Oh, yeah, I dabbed it behind the ears, and everyone was happy to see me, even, surprisingly, the girls.” “Maybe I shouldn’t try it, because some of the girls have never liked me, and I’m probably going to forget what I did, and wonder why they are happy to see me all day, I’m always forgetting things, that’s why I put all my spells in a book, after all.” I mumbled to myself. I went to write it down, calling it the ‘Like Me’ spell. Ok, I have the ‘Love’ potion, a few body, hair, and ****** changing spells, a ‘Find it’ spell, a spell to bind the heart to a specific person. Oh, cute, I still have the spell I made when I was seven, so my heart wouldn’t break if I found a guy, but I didn’t cast it because then I would be sad in the end if I never found the guy I had asked for. ‘Oh, boy, I’m going off to dreamland again. Sigh, will I ever find my kind of guy?’ Well, the only thing that could be worse is the prince picking for me, well, except that we were born on the same day, but at different times, he was born about an hour before me in a room next to me, and since he’s royalty, he chooses a wife before I choose a husband, and I will be mortified since I have to stand next to him, but I doubt anyone would want me as a wife because I’m, in my Aunt Feranium’s words, “an inexcusable excuse of an abomination, no one could possibly want to even be near me, much less marry me”. Well, Aunt Feranium, you’ll get to see if your right or not in 1 week. Well, today I have to go meet up with some of the guys here, and get some ingredients for my potions and spells. I’m hoping at least one of the guys is ok with how I am and who I am. I guess I’ll meet with guys before I get my ingredients, so I can cheer myself up afterwards. I met with three guys for the first half hour. Each and every one of them was wealthy and smug. All I could think was, ‘I can’t wait to get away from here and finish up talking to some other guys.’ One guy, named Damien was saying, “When we get married, you will love your life.” Another named Lucas said, “No, when WE get married you will be in the laps of luxury, far more than either of these two could ever give you, Μαρία.” The third guy, named Jordan said, “We all have wealth, so why don’t we let Μαρία choose for herself?” They all turned to me and looked expectantly. I smiled politely and said, “Well, I have quite a few more people to talk with, so I must not say who of you fine,” and I almost choked on that, “gentlemen. I’m sorry to say, I must go now to meet the others. Good day.” I smiled, got up and left before they could argue/complain/persuade me to stay longer. I went to meet one of my friends, who was being forced by his mother to court/marry me. I saw him and waved. “Hey, Alejandro, what’s up?” He did a slight nod of his head, telling me his mom was nearby, eavesdropping on us. He said anyway, “Not much, but you look lovely today. How are you?” I smiled, because he was not usually like this when his mom wasn’t around. “I am fine. You don’t look so bad yourself.” He blushed, which made me smile, since he only sees me as his one of his best friends, which is the same way I feel about him. I nodded to him, letting him know his mom can no longer hear us, or see us. ‘Goodness, I love being able to do spells with little effort. I just wonder where his mom thinks we went.’ “Thanks Μαρία. So who’d you have to deal with first?” “Three rich guys.” He rolled his eyes. “Let me guess. Full of themselves and saying who you were going to marry?” “Yea, well, except the one, he actually asked ME who I’d marry. It was interesting, since no one would usually care what I thought.” “What did one of them look like?” “One, named Jordan, who asked my opinion, had short brown hair, tan skin, about 5’ 10”. A second, Damien, has medium ***** blonde hair, dark skin, about 6’. The third, Lucas, had sort of long blonde hair, sort of pale skin, about 5’9”. Why?” “I think they are following you.” He pointed behind me, and when I turned to see, there they were, a few tables over. I looked back to Alejandro, smiled, and called for a waiter. “Excuse me, could you send a note and a round of drinks to those three gentlemen over there?” I pointed to the three guys, and gave the waiter 50 coins, and a tip of 20 coins, which is our currency. He smiled and lightly bowed, for the most a waiter would usually get as tip was 5-10 coins. “What is your note?” I told him, “Chill out and have a fine day.” He nodded and did as I asked. When the guys got their drinks, I told Alejandro to come on. We left them there, and made sure they didn’t follow. We got to the market district, because, in truth, Alejandro was the only other person I was to meet. We got there and I showed him a list of ingredients I needed. The list went as follows: Dew Drops Sunlight Sun flowers Fresh Baby Laughter Freshly Fallen Snow Tear of Love Hair of a Beauty Sob of a Broken Heart A Child’s Doll Petal of a Fully Bloomed Rose Lilac Babies Breathe Final Breath of the Dying Rose Thorns He whistled low at how much I needed. I smiled; because that was the least I needed in quite a few months. We went about getting my stuff and just hung out, until we came upon Sarah, who knew me and Alejandro did not like each other, but teased us saying we did all the same. She smiled and said, “Hey lovebirds. What goes on? Oh, are you guys finally realizing you’re meant for each other and going to marry each other?” We said in unison, “No! We are not.” Alejandro scowled while I laughed. “Sure sounds like you’re meant for each other to me!” Sarah laughed while Alejandro’s scowl grew longer. I said, “Sarah stop teasing, poor Alejandro couldn’t possibly take all the scowling.” ‘And the heart break, since he’s in love with you Sarah, you just never see. I’m about to tell you straight up.’ I looked over at Alejandro and smiled, since he didn’t tell me, he didn’t know I knew, even though it was written plainly on his face, he thought he was discreet. He looked down at his feet, letting the hurt pass over his face for a brief second. “I need to get the rest of my ingredients from my list. Okay, let’s see, just a few rose thorns is all I need to get.” We went to go get them. And there, a few feet away, were the three guys again. I pointed them out to Alejandro, and he rolled his eyes. I walked straight up to them. They acted surprise to see me, I said, “Why are you following me?” They were all flustered, but Jordan said, “We weren’t following you!” “Oh, really, you three, follow me, Alejandro, Sarah, you can come to.” We went into an alley way and I continued, “So you three just happened to be at the same café only a few tables away, and then be just a few feet away from me?” They nodded in unison, and I got raged. I used a spell and had them pinned against the wall behind them and asked angrily, “Who are you working for?” They looked fearful, and Lucas said stammering, “You ought to stop, ‘cause there are witnesses.” I looked at him, “They are the only thing keeping me in check, you idiot, now, answer my questions, why were you following me and who are you working for?” They looked at each other, then at me, and swallowed loudly and hard. Damien said, “Sheesh, when we saw you, we thought you’d be no problem to us, but dang! We might as well tell her since she got us, and ‘cause I don’t know her limits.” They all nodded their heads, before looking frighteningly at me. Damien continued, “We are guards, some of the finest, and I now see we are some of the most arrogant.” I rolled my eyes. “Why were you following me?” “We were told to act as the people that we were told to be. It seems your something of interest.” I glared at them, “You’re lying.” They were wide eyed with fright. “No! That’s all that we were told!” “You two might, but he was told more, and he’s not telling.” I glared at him and came close to his face. I looked in his eyes and asked as calmly as I could, “What are you hiding?” He would not answer, so I let them go, and said, “Don’t follow me anymore! Just leave me alone.” They stayed in place, frozen with fear, but Jordan piped up, “Wow, with your strength in spells, Μαρία, would you ever consider joining the guard? We really need you and your strength.” I glared at them and said, “Go!” They ran, still not sure of my limits when I was mad. My friends burst out in laughter after the guards were well out of ear shot. They said in halting gasps, “I can’t believe you bluffed them while you were mad!” I smiled, knowing I wasn’t someone that could harm anyone. When I get angry at someone, I always try to bluff them, I guess I’ve either gotten better, or they were not good at telling my bluff. “Well at least we learned something out of this whole episode. Now, let’s get my ingredients and get back to my house, I had a dream about a new spell last night.” I felt a pair of eyes on me, but when I looked, there was nothing there. I shrugged and thought, ‘I must be getting paranoid.’ When we got back to my house, they helped me put my ingredients away, and I showed them my new ‘Like Me’ spell. “I don’t know how long it lasts, so I won’t let it be used on either of you.” I felt the eyes on my back, I turned and saw nothing. “Do either of you two feel like someone’s watching us?” They shook their heads no, Alejandro said, “Maybe you should do a spell for protection over yourself for whoever’s watching you.” I nodded, and found one that was simple to do but difficult to break through and lasted a long time. I cast it over my friends as well, who smiled when they felt the spell cover them as well. Sarah said, “Ok, now, Alejandro, shoo, me and Μαρία have a few things to talk about.” She grinned wickedly, and so he left. He said, “Bye.” And got out as quick as he could. I looked at her, “Now why’d you do that for? He doesn’t even count as a marriage choice; it’d be too much like marrying a brother.” She shrugged, “Does it matter? This is girl talk, now spill who you like.” She looked at me expectantly. “I really don’t know, I’ll just go with my gut when the time comes, okay?” She sighed dramatically, “Fine!” I laughed, “You know, it’s not your time to pick, you have a few years, and more than a few admirers.” She flipped her hair and laughed lightly, “I can’t help if guys like me, Μαρία!”She shrugged, "That's my image, Μαρία, I have to keep up with it, or I'll be ruined!" I laughed. "You can be so dramatic. You know that?" "Yea, and now I know you can be to. ‘They are the only thing keeping me in check, you idiot', nice one, especially with the idiot, it added to your tone." I looked at the floor sheepishly. "It just came to mind, and I went with it. Was I that convincing to you?" "Are you kidding, I thought you would of killed 'em on the spot! Your bluff is way better Μαρία." I smiled, "Thanks Sarah." We went about our own thoughts for an hour, until it was time for Sarah to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow Μαρία." "Okay, see ya." I flicked my wings out, mostly because I still felt like someone was watching me. I thought about my wings, and how soon I'll have a design. I remembered a type of fairy that used to exist long ago. They were called the florescent fairies. Unfortunately they died off. They all had wing patterns of their own. Even the females had their own patterns that they kept after marriage. Their wings were always so big and elaborate. I felt my wings tingling, so I went to my front door. There on my doorstep was the guard that I knew as Jordan. He was in his uniform. I said, “What do you want, Jordan, if that is really your name?” He cleared his throat. He was afraid, but put up a brave front and said, “I came for you were summoned by the head of the royal guard.” I rolled my eyes, “And why would I be summoned this late at night?” His bravado was fading when he said, “Because the head of the royal guard wants to see you now.” “Why?” His bravado was completely gone now and he was shaking in his boots, “He just wants you to come.” I rolled my eyes again, turned out the lights, and locked my house up. “Lets’ get this done and over with. I do need to sleep like others’, you know.” Then I felt magic welling up around me. I found them easily with my magic, and brought them out in front of me. I threw them all into a pile in front of me. “Tell me three good reasons I shouldn’t put you all in a magic hold that would leave you motionless for the rest of the night.” They were all struggling, and I was holding Jordan with a glare. “I am tired, and would not regret it. And you all need to learn to hide your magic. That’s how I knew where you were.” They all tried to plead for me to let them go, but with a wave of my hand, they fell silent. Jordan said stammering, “They were only supposed to be back-up in case you wouldn’t come.” I waved my pointer finger side to side, “Tsk, tsk, tsk, not nice to play tricks with me.” I used my magic to send the pile of guards back to the palace, while I looked at Jordan and said, “I told you to leave me alone.” I flicked my hand at him, and he went flying back to the palace. I went back into my house, went to my room, and after taking a hot shower, went to bed. The next morning, I got up and ready for the day. I was about to leave my home when my wings tingled. Someone was at the door. I looked through a peep hole and saw my friends, Sarah and Alejandro. I opened the door, and they came in talking at me. I couldn’t understand what they were saying, so I said, “Slow down, now what?” They started laughing. Sarah said, “Apparently, you gave all the guard’s a scare. What did you do?” I looked at them, confused for a second, and then I remembered, and told them the events of last night. They laughed, so I said, “What? I was extremely tired, I wasn’t taking their crap.” That just made them laugh harder. Alejandro said, “Remind me not to get on your bad side, Μαρία.” He chuckled and said, “Can you teach me some of your **** kicking moves?” I grinned devilishly and made to look like I was going to use it on him and said “Sure,” and mocked what I did with the guards without using my magic. We all laughed. There was a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes and yelled, “Who is it?” Whoever it was just knocked again. I went to the door and looked through the peep hole. There was no one there. I motioned my friends back, away, and I used a searching spell. I calmly looked all around my house, then finally smiled. I opened my door fast and
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there are times in life when you just need to talk just wanna scream just gonna **** but that pain anger fury is reigned in whether you want to do it or not I find it funny how people will try to say that those who show their emotions through poetry are weak but they don't see it those who show their pain in writing they are not weak they are strong because they show it in the most true form the form that lasts forever the written word because the written word others will see and interpret in their own way there are many ways to see things whether those things are hidden in plain sight or being shown to the world intentionally another thing intentionally shown my words my emotions though if you look and look again you may find something that was hidden the first time around idk how to explain it but some are hidden to those who do not seek my pain my life my suffering and here i go about me when it is to be admitted we all hide something of ourselves but who but me would want to admit it who knows maybe one day noone will hide who they are heaven and hell knows i hide almost every day of my life i have demons in my soul DEMONS *how ****** up is this chick* why the hell are we here we're supposed to always be with her apparently **why should we, she's already ****** up enough on her own** i know that and you know that she probably does too 'i walk in on them' (yes, i know i am, i here you all the time you know) 'they stop and stare at me' so.... ummmm.... 'i sigh' (you guys can go...) 'they look at each other' oh... uhh... 'i turn and find a dark corner to myself and they dont follow' 'they walk away and i bring my knee's to my chest' 'i bend my head down and cry silently' (i'm alone now... though when haven't i been) idk what to do anymore there's pain inside me though there are other's in my life that i don't want to leave because when i go from all i'm not coming back there's always been pain inside me for a while there was voices but they deserted me i guess i'm to crazy even for the voices i wonder if they're like me never coming back 'cuase they already left what is left pain suffering hurt loss always loss oh well i say farewell BOWS
0
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015 at 12:51 PM UTC
the going's on in my head
there are times in life when you just need to talk just wanna scream just gonna **** but that pain anger fury is reigned in whether you want to do it or not I find it funny how people will try to say that those who show their emotions through poetry are weak but they don't see it those who show their pain in writing they are not weak they are strong because they show it in the most true form the form that lasts forever the written word because the written word others will see and interpret in their own way there are many ways to see things whether those things are hidden in plain sight or being shown to the world intentionally another thing intentionally shown my words my emotions though if you look and look again you may find something that was hidden the first time around idk how to explain it but some are hidden to those who do not seek my pain my life my suffering and here i go about me when it is to be admitted we all hide something of ourselves but who but me would want to admit it who knows maybe one day noone will hide who they are heaven and hell knows i hide almost every day of my life i have demons in my soul DEMONS *how ****** up is this chick* why the hell are we here we're supposed to always be with her apparently **why should we, she's already ****** up enough on her own** i know that and you know that she probably does too 'i walk in on them' (yes, i know i am, i here you all the time you know) 'they stop and stare at me' so.... ummmm.... 'i sigh' (you guys can go...) 'they look at each other' oh... uhh... 'i turn and find a dark corner to myself and they dont follow' 'they walk away and i bring my knee's to my chest' 'i bend my head down and cry silently' (i'm alone now... though when haven't i been) idk what to do anymore there's pain inside me though there are other's in my life that i don't want to leave because when i go from all i'm not coming back there's always been pain inside me for a while there was voices but they deserted me i guess i'm to crazy even for the voices i wonder if they're like me never coming back 'cuase they already left what is left pain suffering hurt loss always loss oh well i say farewell BOWS
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I took a walk around the world To ease my troubled mind I left my body lying somewhere In the sands of time But I watched the world float To the dark side of the moon I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah I watched the world float To the dark side of the moon After all I knew it had to be Something to do with you I really don’t mind what happens now and then As long as you’ll be my friend at the end If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be There a-holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side With my superhuman might Kryptonite You called me strong, you called me weak, But still your secrets I will keep You took for granted all the times I never let you down You stumbled in and bumped your head, If not for me then you'd be dead I picked you up and put you back on solid ground If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, Will you be there a-holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side With my superhuman might Kryptonite If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I’m alive and well, will you be there Holding my hand I’ll keep you by my side With my superhuman might Kryptonite Yeah!! If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If I'm alive and well, Will you be there a-holding my hand I'll keep you by my side With my superhuman might Kryptonite Oh, whoa, whoa Oh, whoa, whoa Oh, whoa, whoa
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Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015 at 12:43 PM UTC
Kryptonite by Three Doors Down