You tell me I move too fast
I think you're stuck in the past
Wishing I were yours
Yet I'm still sore
Sore from your words
All of your verbal abuse
How could I ever find love for you
When all that is, was
And I've packed my bags for good
You had the chance to stop me
With just one word
Yes.
It's been a while since we talked
And I still dream of you
Funny how you're always grey
In a world full of color.
Jun 4, 2019
Jun 4, 2019 at 10:02 AM UTC
Things that should be long forgotten.
They roam through the hallways of my mind,
Scratching on doors and knocking on walls,
Trying for attention of any kind,
I rub my temples and put down my head,
I try to focus on lighter thoughts,
But here I am drowning again,
In the confines of my panic box.
(Deep breaths, they say)
Where they chain themselves to stay,
(Count back from ten)
The ghosts of memories sink their claws in.
Things that should be long forgotten,
Yet the world triggers them again and again.
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 10:50 AM UTC
I feel it in my nerves,
A jolt that goes through me when I see them with others,
A fear that picks the strings of my heart,
Why am I not the one?
I open my heart,
Lay out all of my feelings and hurts,
Just to be swept under the rug again,
Why didn't you choose me?
I get headaches and lie down,
Somehow trying to drown,
I am not this which holds me,
Jealousy.
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 11:59 AM UTC
I've got a dark place in my heart.
A place that likes hurt,
A place that accepts abuse,
And in this place I find solace,
I find warmth and confusing joy,
So hit me as hard as you can,
Beat me until I can cry no more,
But never say you'll leave me.
That, I could not endure.
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 11:35 PM UTC
Tired
Dragging
I just need sleep
Desperate
Longing
Slowly I creep
Twisting
Turning
Leaving me
You're gone
I'm lost
I hope I'm dreaming
Dec 21, 2017
Dec 21, 2017 at 9:41 AM UTC
It's a drug I cannot quit,
A power I must obtain,
Its something I must take,
And never something I will give,
It consumes me,
It devours.
I cannot breath,
It will not let me free.
Do I fight or let it be?
Please, I promise it's not me.
Control,
I'm breaking,
Or maybe I'm just broken,
Is this why it chose me?
Because I'm so very weak?
Dec 21, 2017
Dec 21, 2017 at 9:39 AM UTC
Ruins,
I am ruined,
I ruin you and me,
Ruins,
I'm in ruins,
Trusting only me,
Ruins,
I have ruined,
The glue in between,
Ruins,
Oh, I ruin,
Every path that crosses me.
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 8:55 PM UTC
I look forward to nothing,
Thanks to you.
You promised me the world,
Yet you never came through.
Oct 4, 2017
Oct 4, 2017 at 1:04 PM UTC
It's that feeling that hurts
Way down low,
Deep in the pit of your stomach
And deep in your soul,
That pain, that disgust
That raging ball of hate,
The feeling that you're never good enough
That feeling that never dissipates.
When you've shared your heart
Maybe a bit too much,
And everytime they hurt you,
You feel it right in your guts..
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017 at 8:02 PM UTC
I am different
Just like you.
I wear my hair up when I read,
I don't hit the right notes when I sing,
I forget to think before I speak,
And I trust no one,
Just like Moulder taught me.
Every time I want to hurt myself,
I cut my hair,
Everytime I want to cry,
Smoke fills the air,
And when I'm desperate to be heard,
I reach out to notebooks that are tear covered.
I'm different, oh I'm different,
Just like everyone else,
I'll blend in to the crowds,
Just to be tripped over.
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017 at 9:53 AM UTC