Your hair was back but your hands were nothing but close. I can't remember what it feels like anymore to hate a touch because now it's all I desire. That look in your eyes was threatening but baby you could **** me and I would still give you everything I have.
The sensation of your entity twirling around mine only makes me wish you were here to give me that look one more time.
Put your hands around my throat.
Turn all my previous fears into sinful wishes.
Put your hips around mine and I'll scream your name as if you're leaving forever in my wake.
Stay with me until you come up and I disappear because we run nothing but cycles and I want all 365 days of this annum with you.
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 6:03 PM UTC
My only friend,
I've been in this room for so long that the paintings on the walls have turned into motion pictures. Everything seems to be laughing at me and my lover has been sea sick since I left. The tides are rising and every minor thing makes the waves crash inside of me. I feel like it might be the season because this is about the time where we sink every year but find ourselves in fast paced rewind at the exact moment it started. When I close my eyes to the resting waters I can't take away the screams in my head. I don't know if the paintings even want to be around me anymore. I'm lost at sea and the ship is out of life rings.
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 27, 2016 at 11:57 PM UTC
I left my life to join the circus only to find that the animals were louder than my demons.
I left my life to go swimming with my inner friends only to find that they drowned out my real self.
I left my life to keep running from my own two feet only to find that they'll never be away from me.
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 13, 2015 at 3:08 AM UTC
I like the sight of the night sky because it reminds me that there is life outside of mine. I remember when I had the galaxy in my eyes completely burn out and the only way I knew I was still breathing was looking at the moon that billions of people were under struggling with the same feeling. The stars in my eyes have glistened once again and I'm not letting meteors crash through my soul any longer. So look for the planets within my body and Ill take you to places you've never been before.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 1:36 AM UTC
She had skeletons tucked away in her closet so maybe that's why she grabbed onto the nearest spine. Maybe her step father made her shake until she fell and that's why she held my hand. Maybe he said "let's play a game", so she passed it down to me.
The way the sheets fluttered around my throat has left rings around my neck that I still stroke when I see my reflection. The way her laughter echoes in my ear has only made mine louder just to mellow it out.
I hear them in everyone. It's a set of ghosts that just won't leave my walls. They claw at my spine. They rip at my veins.
People wonder why I don't sleep, I don't sleep because they each scream in a different ear. One screams "you're worthless" and one screams "I'm almost done"
But they're never done. They never leave. They scratch and they bite and they moan and they cry.
So when will I stop crying? When will I stop blaming myself? When will I stop cutting my wrists to make them go away? Right now I'm thinking they are forever with me. The ghost in my walls. The reasons I rattle.
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 2:55 AM UTC
I still remember how your hands felt around my wrists. I felt every single settle squeeze as you kissed my neck. I hated it. I hated every single disgusting second of it. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just the unfortunate boy that couldn't have my heart or purity.
I still remember the music. I only knew you for two weeks. You were much older. You looked at me like I was the meat beneath your teeth and absolutely everything about that made me cringe. I know it was all malice. Nothing but malice. As soon as you took off your shirt I lost my breath. As soon as you bit my collarbones I cried out. No. I don't want it. No I didn't want it. You whispered sweet I love you's in my ear. I don't know how you could love me without knowing my last name or the way my eyes looked sober. I have never gotten dressed so fast. I have never ran so fast. I have never screamed so loud.
I heard him in you two. I boiled off my skin like that would make it go away. Like that disgust would go away.
I saw her in your eyes. I heard "let's play a game" in my head.
Echoes. So many ******* echoes. Now all that remains are the voices in my head.
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 2:46 AM UTC
To finally be intertwined with the one on your mind is so bliss. Your hands fit oh so well on my curves but I bet they feel even better just a tad lower. My mind has never raced so fast at such a settle heartbeat. Every settle pulse vibrates through my body and I just can't bring myself any closer to you. Baby fill me past my line because I can't do it for myself. I can't do much for myself in the first place. Tuck my hair away. Leave those chills down my spine with every blow, kiss, and bite. Tell me you love me even if you don't know if I can return that. Keep the smoke filling in my lungs so you aren't the only one making me this numb. Hand me a drink so I can fall into you with every piece of me I have left. Grace me with your touch because I've been craving nothing less than that for months. I just want to feel you. Put your hands in my hair before we fall asleep because in the morning I need a tug so I can stay there because I've been so used to running I just need to hold on.
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 9:49 PM UTC
Stuck in the past like every single person who enters will be just like him. I wonder why I'm so forgiving but I swear I don't wonder about my trust issues. I have every right to not believe an "I love you" when it approches me. I laugh at apologies. I swear at the world. Because. Why. The. **** Not. I'm broken but you aren't allowed to call me that. I'm drowning but you aren't allowed to save me. Tie bricks to my ankles baby I like it. Scream in my ear baby I ******* like it. Hold me down I like it.
Let me scream.
Let me drown.
Let me break.
Let me fall.
I'm stuck in the past by everyone who has come in my life but all I see is you.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 3:41 PM UTC
I always used to wonder why you were so cold. I wondered why you never left your room and why you could never be seen. I remember the night I listened into your room and you spoke so lightly. It had been months since I heard your voice so clear. You said "take me I'm ready"
I asked God why he made you so sad. I asked God why he let this man do this to me. I asked God why you held that rope so tightly.
I remember the first time I ever cut my wrists, it was crimson and bliss. I asked God why he let me do it. I asked God why he let you do it.
I remember watching you pop them like tic tacs. I watched how fast you could clean the house. How fast you moved, talked, and how loud you screamed.
I asked God why you didn't want me. A man answered back with a hand. I asked God why I deserved that. I asked him to not let you go.
I remember when I sat outside your door asking for a hair dryer. I knocked for 10 minutes. When you finally came out I saw the look on your face. I asked God why you wanted to die. I asked God why I did too.
I remember when you got taken away and I eventually stopped asking God such things.
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 1:52 AM UTC
The heartbroken always become the heartbreakers. If you don't agree, spend the night with me.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 12:29 PM UTC