Who would have thought
Freedom tastes so sweet?
I clung so hard to a future
We'd never live to see
And as time moves on without us
I know it's for the best
For with every mile between us,
My heart beats more at rest
Our love was the eye of a storm
Swirling in the midst of chaos
But our minds fooled us both
With memories of what was
But what was lives in the past
And even there, it's twisted
Morphed from desperate prayers
And our wasted wishes
The past rots in our lingering thoughts,
Subtle yet present forevermore;
Yet still, I'll keep the lock on tight;
Never again will I reopen this door.
Jun 8, 2020
Jun 8, 2020 at 11:20 PM UTC
I was the love of your life
I was your biggest fan
I'd make you smile and laugh
I'd wipe your tears
I'd let you rant and yell
And I forgave you
I was patient
I tried my best to understand
I'd bite my tongue
I'd bake your favorites
Apple pie with a laced crust
And strawberry cake
I'd tidy up your room
I'd make your bed
I'd watch your favorite shows
I'd shower you with kisses
I'd play wrestle you
And say I'd won
I never did
We'd lie in the grass
Watch the stars and dream
I'd tell you of our future house
Our many cats
I told you I wanted you
To name our first kid
We'd watch movies on the couch
We'd hang out until you fell asleep
And we had more plans
Than we had free-time
And that was okay
We had forever
I was the love of your life
But then you met her
And now she'll be your wife
And she'll have your kids
You'll share your cats
She'll bake your favorites
I hope they taste better
And she better be
Your second biggest fan
For you'll never know
How much every part of me
Admires you
You're the love of my life.
Jun 20, 2017
Jun 20, 2017 at 12:21 PM UTC
I wish I could capture my happiness
In these words that I write
In the ways that I lock away
My sorrows, always ready to resurface.
Yet these happy moments
Are fleeting and never look back
While my sadness is my friend,
Always waiting in the shadows.
Joy is a runaway
I can never catch.
Jun 19, 2017
Jun 19, 2017 at 3:17 PM UTC
You asked me to give you space,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to stop reminding you,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to give you privacy,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to always be positive,
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
I asked you to show me affection,
You told me you're not that kind of man.
I told you I did it for us,
I told you I have anxiety,
I told you I have depression,
I told you I love you more than anything.
You told me I did it to myself.
You told me I make things up,
You told me to stop bringing you down,
You told me I make you hate your life.
I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
Please don't leave me.
You stayed.
I'm scared to ask why?
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 12:16 PM UTC
The most humbling thought...
Is realizing you'll never be loved
As much as you love him.
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 1:39 PM UTC
My world reflects in my eyes
When your face is close to mine.
It's a terrifying feeling,
Yet nothing quite as beautiful
When one falls in love
So effortlessly--
Like nothing changed at all.
Yet everything changed
And the girl who could never trust again
Trusts.
You don't know the story
That is encrypted within my scars.
You don't even know
There are scars at all to see.
All you know
Is the smile plastered on my face
And that I love you.
For once,
That's all I need to say:
I love you.
You're the cure.
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 1:25 PM UTC
You are so ordinary
With beautiful qualities,
Just like everybody
Has something
Beautiful about them.
You have flaws
That shine as bright as sunlight,
Just like everybody
Has something
That makes them human.
Yet I love you,
Not them,
So I ask:
Why?
You have beautiful eyes, yes
But so do so many others.
You have a great wit about you,
But still, so do so many others.
We have common interests,
You can be stubborn but keep your manners,
And we can talk about anything,
But yet again, so do so many others.
So I repeat:
I love you,
Not them,
But why?
It all happened in an instant--
An unsuspecting moment--
When someone else was talking,
I looked around the room
And I met your gaze.
The moment before, I was free
And the moment after, I was not.
Your eyes smiled,
No lips needed
To convey the twinkle
That caught my heart.
All in an instant,
I fell in love,
All too deeply
With you.
Jul 31, 2016
Jul 31, 2016 at 1:35 AM UTC
I'll wear my lipstick just a little bit brighter,
Do my hair real nice,
Soft, long, and free,
I'll draw on my eyeliner as a perfect line,
A stroke of vivid black,
With a perfect wing,
Just like the ones I grew to fly away from here.
Maybe when I'm gone, I'll be pretty enough.
Maybe when I'm gone, you'll be able to think back.
Maybe when I'm gone, you'll remember me.
Or maybe, when I'm gone, you'll just forget.
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 9:50 AM UTC
You were curious--
I opened doors so you could see.
You were scared--
I fought so much to rid your fears.
You were upset--
I gave my best to make you smile.
You changed your mind--
I lied, I bore the pain, I said it was okay.
I was patient,
I was kind,
I was humble,
So what did I do wrong?
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 8:49 PM UTC
My cheeks feel wet
Without any tears,
My stomach's tied
Into so many knots,
That I feel it burn now
In my heart itself.
I felt nothing
And then I felt it all
And now I feel nothing
But everything fall,
And as it falls, I'm here,
Spinning, standing still.
I never asked for this,
I was okay in my tower,
But still I grabbed your hand,
I pulled you up to me
And as you stepped in--
I slipped out.
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 8:40 PM UTC