liz-west
American
I've been jotting down words and phrases that have burned themselves into my mind since I was about 4 years old. Since then, I have been putting those words and phrases together to create poems and songs that capture my emotions and thoughts. It is a very theraputic way for me to express myself and although most of my material is very personal, I still appreciate the ability to share it with others. Most of my stuff is pretty dark and depressing, but it reflects the way I was feeling when I wrote it. Some are in poem format, some as songs, I am a mosiac of emotions and you are sure to see that shining through in my words. If you are interested in hearing some of my songs performed, I have a myspace music page at www.myspace.com/lizwest311 and you can find some of my original work on there.
I am not ok
I am alone in this world
All alone
To combat the fears
Brought on
By years of uncertainty
Years of trial
And failure
Through it all
I trudge
Alone
Hope dissipates
Into blood-soaked thoughts
Trickling quicker
The truth of reality
The transparencies
Of lies
Pain follows
Then release
Demons inside claw
Into dreams
Into life
I am not ok
I am alone with
This
Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 10:15 AM UTC
I just wanted a couple hits off your cigarette
Didn’t know what I’d end up with next
Definitely didn’t bank on loving you
Or undoing all I thought was true
I only wanted one night of pleasure
I never intended to surrender
Never knew where this would take me
Or how I’d feel when my heart was breaking
I just wanted a moment of your affection
Instead it brought me misdirection
A fleeting glimpse of happiness
Something that would not last
Feb 2, 2011
Feb 2, 2011 at 11:12 PM UTC
[Verse 1]
Baby, I’ve got a bad wander lust
Probably cuz I’m trying to get a head rush
The white ponies come to tie me down
But they don’t know I want them now
I’m covered in my own desire
And that reminder won’t make me cower
I’m hungry for the flash of white
For numbness in the cold of night
[Chorus]
Baby, it’s that wonder dust
Got me aching to get a head rush
I know they are coming to get me
Coming to get me, the ******* cavalry
I know pain comes when they are gone
I know it’s wrong, but it has been too long
I’ve got my arms spread open wide
For them to come and jump inside
They’re coming to get me
Coming to get me
The ******* Cavalry
[Verse 2]
I know what they want, and I can’t wait
Their bittersweet tang I long to taste
They will be here when I die
But at least I will be riding high
The cavalry won’t stop until
My nose is packed, my brain is filled
I can’t wait until that last day
When all the pain has gone away
[Verse 3]
I know you don’t see me like this
But it would be my dying wish
For my mind to fly upon white doves
And reach the place so far above
My face will never feel the pain
For the cavalry will have done its thing
They medicated all my soul
And now I’ll never feel the cold
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 8:39 AM UTC
STOP all the madness, STOP the insanity
STOP haunting my daytime, STOP haunting my dreams
LEAVE me in alone now; LEAVE me all in one piece
LEAVE me my spirit; LEAVE me a chance of relief
DON’T lie to me, DON’T think I won’t know
DON’T underestimate me, DON’T do anything but go
QUIT the mind changing, QUIT playing games
QUIT all your talking, QUIT while I’m still sane
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 8:36 AM UTC
[Verse 1]
How could I be so blind, so as not to see
The flaws that were in you, that I knew there would be
When the spark finally ignited, I thought I had found
Someone I just loved always being around
You went away for weeks, and I thought I would die
To stalk you on facebook, not enough to suffice
I don’t know when this happened, or why I fell so hard
But being with you, and my soul felt recharged
[Chorus]
When was the last time I cried over a guy
Should have known he was a liar, just was in disguise
I don’t know what’s happening or what it all means
At first we were friends, but you meant more to me
When was the last time I felt as I do now?
Why would I let my guard down? I don’t know how
All men are the same, never saying what’s true
But I never once thought that they were like you
[Verse 2]
I thought you were different from all other men
I finally found connection, so much more than a friend
I should have been ready to come crashing down
It’s just that I loved you, loved you being around
Those cold bitter weeks, I longed for your voice
Guess I couldn’t have made a more horrible choice
The years that were behind us, should have enough
To know you would break me, if heat started up
[Verse 3]
Why would I ever have fallen so hard?
Maybe it’s now that I realize I’m scarred
I thought I was cool, comfortable, calm
Turns out I couldn’t have had it more wrong
I’ll never escape my time twisted mind
But no one will help me find time to unwind
You will not listen, nor will you seem to care
I’ll feel like my rock has turned into air
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 8:34 AM UTC
I ****** up, and I did it really badly
****** up good, although I love you madly
It was my own insecurities which drove me to it
I knew it was a bad idea, but I just didn’t give a ****
Sorry that I hurt you, left a path of destruction
I’d apologize again, but my brain is under construction
I know I ****** up, it was beyond my control
Wish I hadn’t ****** up because now I’m all alone
Should have known I would **** up, it’s been too long
My track record was clean, had to do something wrong
Don’t ask me why because I don’t have a reason
I tend to **** up everything, regardless of the season
I ****** it all up, no possibility of turning back now
I see the havoc I caused and looking back I don’t know how
I can’t tell you how bad I feel, you wouldn’t believe me
I ****** everything up, the way I always knew it would be
You probably knew I would **** up, I do it all the time
The potential was always there in the back of my mind
I held the **** up cards, and now they’ve all been played
And now I sit here useless, knowing why you wouldn’t stay
I’m not good at doing things the right way, just need to **** up
My once numb mind is burning, knowing that I cannot stop
Wish I could say it won’t happen again, that there was just no chance
But know I’m armed and waiting, to destroy the hope for romance
**** up this, and **** up that
****** it all up good
Never mind the pain or tears
Because I ****** up good
When I **** up it’s no surprise
It happens everyday
It would be nice to say that my
******* up has gone away
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 8:32 AM UTC
Look in the mirror
And what do you see?
A pale freckled girl
And yet this is me
A small button bent
And slightly crooked nose
That’s taken a few too many
Hard horse head blows
Look in my eyes
And what do you see?
Many painful trials
Of joy and travesty
A blue gray green array
Of colors surround
The darkest black pupil
With hazel flecks all around
Look at my soul
And what do you see?
I bet you’ll see something
You want me to be
You’ll search for kindness
You’ll think you see light
But you will see nothing
If you don’t look just right
Jan 4, 2011
Jan 4, 2011 at 5:41 AM UTC
I’ve finally gotten over you
I’m past the pain and lies
I should have seen how good I’d feel
Instead of crying all this time
I relinquish all my memories
Of your touch, your taste, your smell
I had to get myself on track
Or face eternity in hell
Every time your face threatens
To jump back in my mind
I take deep breaths and forget it all
And the picture does subside
I’ve finally healed the wounds
That you created in my soul
I’ve finally warmed my heart again
And banished the harsh cold
I had to do this, just for me
To get over the old feelings
I have to look towards the future
And continue with the healing
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010 at 9:27 AM UTC
Like a lead riddled bird, toppling from the highest sky
Falling faster than physics could have predicted
Blood dripping down, abandoning any hope for life
Shot down harder than could have been foreseen
Dropping to the ground with terminal velocity
Left to rot and decay, like an abandoned corpse
No one notices, no words are muttered, no sense of loss
The stinging words are the bullets and they ricochet
Through every orifice, through every *****
Tearing flesh, shattering bone, ripping membranes
Life is stolen, future forsaken yet no one stops to reconsider
There could have been hope, could have been something
But everything was lies, any chance for chance stolen
Shot down with endless pain, yet feeling nothing
Adrenaline numbs everything out, in the final closure
The last few inches coming at 9 meters per second per second
Slamming down onto the hard soil, all vital signs gone
Shot down like an animal, left for dead, neglected.
Nov 15, 2010
Nov 15, 2010 at 8:48 AM UTC
Set back? **** ******* right
At least you get that
You must think I’m a fool
To reconsider your touch
You must know it’s not cool
To **** someone’s head this much
‘Set back’? Doesn’t come close
Sheer devastation is what I know most
I can’t even remember the days before you
Why the **** would I do that?
You are nothing but cruel
I was an idiot to fall back
And see you again
I should have known from the phone call
How this night would end
I just wanted to feel you
To look into your eyes
But you were exactly the same
Constant accusation of lies
Set back? You are right
I am just that
Set back in time, set back in pain
I just should have known
You were ******* insane
Nov 15, 2010
Nov 15, 2010 at 8:39 AM UTC