Bloom, these flowers in my heart.
From ash come hither no rot,
But arms spread open--
Embrace the traces of life still within,
I rise.
No longer sing songs of demise.
I rise for a crown that yearns as mine.
And so it is, and so I will be.
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 8:52 PM UTC
Piddling drip drops lightly on the dew drops,
Never ceasing, never stops.
A love that never rots.
Love you now, loved you then,
Thanks for being my inspiration when
Nothing else takes the place of you.
If I had it my way, I’d spend my life with you.
If I had it my way, I’d marry you.
But to everyone, it’s “too soon.”
Guess I’ll be a lonely sick loon.
Drink away the hours in a rainy warm room.
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 10, 2018 at 4:16 PM UTC
Step out of the room and into the rain.
The sky is no longer gray,
But the cool drizzle washes me clean.
My skin is peeled away, like a snake;
Someone new,
Yet
Someone who is me, the one who's always been.
I had abandoned her.
Addiction
To what was never real.
Addiction.
I can see I lied to her, myself,
I can admit to my own illusions I was deluded to believe:
I
Do not need you.
I
Cannot save you.
The truth does not make me heartless.
Wash me clean and away the darkness.
I am compassion.
I am nurture.
I can be your friend,
Care from a distance while I mend,
Because I do not need you.
We are not meant to be.
Now you'll have to save yourself.
Now I must love me.
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 11:57 PM UTC
The thought of your kiss.
How every day I miss
you and your stupid **** that ******
me off and I remember I
have to stop loving you so I
can stop hurting so bad, but why
can't I get you off my mind
and just spend one ******* evening not feeling left behind?
I feel like I'd,
just to be with you again, die.
Just to see you once I'd
rearrange a sky so I
could sleep soundly without having to cry
myself there. Personify
my optimism, turn a blind eye
and satisfy my tongue-tied
thoughts that just want to find
some peace of ******* mind
away from the "goodbye"
that repeats like a broken record inside.
Love on standby.
Love gone awry.
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 10:06 PM UTC
The quieter nights of "together,"
Loudly with personality
Or not saying anything at all.
Breathing,
Natural breath
In rhythm to pulsing heartbeats.
Stifled laughs.
_You don't have to do a thing._
_You don't have to prove a thing._
We're in the dark,
We're called the "lost,"
But I find something in you...
Find your place too,
At least for the night.
Arms in knots 'round each other, feeling like bursting.
A chin at the crown of my hair.
_You don't have to do a thing._
_You don't have to prove a thing._
The discomfort of bone on bone I ignore.
Please, hold me till I'm not lonely anymore.
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 11:58 AM UTC
Infectious laugh,
Untamable anger,
Excitable stories,
Well-hidden anxiety.
Misdirected blame,
Unwarranted shame.
Blue eyes.
Brown hair, red hints; I wish I could have seen it with sun tints.
Smiling...
After work.
In the middle of the night.
In the mornings.
Saturday afternoons.
Rushed calls or
A day’s worth of together.
Nightmares as dreams,
Nights without sleep.
Coffee, drugs, caffeine.
Scars.
Hopelessness.
Grief.
Aspirations.
Full of life.
Childlike heart. Easily torn, but never taken apart.
An eye for nature’s beauty.
An eye for art.
One for me, occasionally.
Insecurity. Arrogance.
Compassion. Detachment.
Weak yet enduring.
Unmoving yet learning.
Intoxicating.
Aggravating.
A liar struggling to lie.
A suicide debating to die.
Lustful gaze.
Manipulative ways.
Who were you
And why couldn’t you stay?
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 4:06 PM UTC
Stricken with, like fate.
Idolizing. Idealizing.
What makes it so?
Curiosity to obsession.
Obsession to love?
What is love?
Sought after, like gold.
Idolizing me.
Yet none to succeed but for a fleeting moment.
I envy those with their beloveds.
Even those whom have suffered loss, but still love.
Emptiness.
Craving the “good” feelings.
Like fantasies. Wanting someone who isn’t real.
Never to give wounds time to heal.
To invalidate, or embrace?
If I don’t know what is real
And if I don’t know who I am,
Do I follow my heart?
Or is naivety my wander?
What I seek is never mine to keep.
All stories are read, not written.
Not written by me.
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 10:46 AM UTC
Like children,
Stamped out the flame.
Everything was thrown away.
Every day
Keeping you from yourself.
Every day
Dusting off your shelf.
Worry,
Physically ill.
Living still?
Bored of waiting,
Worn of debating
With rage
And smiles you gave me,
Drowned--
Tears that made a greater sea.
Like Alice out sipping tea.
Anger,
Anger,
Arrogant sneer.
Regret,
Regret,
Realized fear.
Have a drink.
It's finally over.
Bleed from myself till I'm sober.
Feels like dying.
Mental illness vying
With the little voices
For the better choices.
We lose.
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 11:39 PM UTC
The beast comes clawing to sabotage anything near;
Despite what it loves, despite what it holds dear.
I've no hunting rifle, only my rightful fear
That I do not know what to believe...
That there's no longer more than what appears.
Lies nearly spin _themselves,_ like spiders in your teeth.
Suddenly we find myself beneath
You.
Revisit to what you've put me through.
Revisit to the dishonesty you swear to.
Distortions. Deceptions.
Even you don't know what's true.
Who __are__ you?
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 8:27 AM UTC