there is something about
the soft afternoon sunlight
pouring in through my window,
it makes me smile lazily,
blinking slowly,
makes me warm inside
like only 3:30
in the afternoon can,
nowhere to go,
nowhere to be
in all the right ways
it rubs so gently
into my senses,
i cant explain
there is a golden hour,
mid afternoon,
the heat of the day remains,
but the sunlight
has mellowed
into a buttery yellow
that i can taste
the rooms have become still
and quiet
so as to not disturb
this moment
of absolute divinity
the grandfather clock
ticks even slower,
holding the moments
silently between its ticks
and its tocks
condensation on the
iced sweet tea drips
with languid indifference,
the air stills
and the light pours in
like a delicious mouthful
of warm peach slices
and vanilla ice cream
what bliss
to be able taste
this part of summer,
to feel its oh so gentle silk
on my skin,
to close my eyes,
to breathe in the sunshine
and have its soft amber easiness
kiss my forehead
like i am
summers beloved
Aug 16, 2025
Aug 16, 2025 at 3:17 PM UTC
Penny and Charlie
have been my constant companions,
sleeping snuggled up
at my feet,
behind my back,
above my head
on my laptop
in fact
anywhere that is
warm
and quiet
Two very robust flies came in,
then promptly
went out
the window
but only after they
had buzzed
around
and around
and around
and around
and around
...
They didn't seem to know
where they were
or
what they were doing
Breakfast, lunch and tea
has been delivered,
religiously,
with a flourish
and a flower
from the garden
Toast and jam,
cheese sandwiches
shepherd's pie,
copious cups of coffee
along with
the odd fairy cake
which i must say
was greatly received
Tablets have been administered,
quite adeptly I would say,
in a professional manner,
with a glass of water,
freshly poured
from the bathroom tap.
It's the thought that counts
There seem to be
only two cobwebs
in here.
One that is tucked into the corner,
the other,
just under the bookcase.
The one just under the bookcase moves with the breeze.
I wonder where it's spider is?
I must remember to wash the windows,
and mow the lawn
and sort that pile of books out
to go back to the library.
I wonder what has happened in the world outside today?
I can hear someone
mowing their lawn.
I can see blue sky and white clouds.
It looks like a lovely day outside.
When I'm better
I'll do the washing,
and hang it out
in the breeze.
I might try and move,
to see if it still hurts..
These covers are so warm
I think it must be an easy life
being a cat.
If there is another life
beyond this,
I'd want to be a cat.
Yes... it hurts to move
Maybe I will just have a nap,
and pretend i'm a cat.
After all
it's only 1:30
in the afternoon.
Plenty of time
to have another nap
and rest
in my bed
🛌
Jun 4, 2025
Jun 4, 2025 at 6:52 PM UTC
It travels in my rucksack
To and fro each way
Snuggled in the darkness
For days and days and days
🍎 🍏 🍎
I had such good intentions
A perfect little snack
To keep me fit and healthy
In a bag upon my back
🍎 🍏 🍎
Now and then I'd get it out
To see if it was bruised
Or pop it back into the fridge
Only then to be rechoosed
🍎 🍏 🍎
I'd always be so happy
To have an apple in my bag
If feeling rather peckish
It's the first thing I could snag
🍎 🍏 🍎
But this battered little apple
Would be left without a bite
Languishing in darkness
Tucked away, out of sight
🍎 🍏 🍎
Today i'll eat this apple!
I promised everyday
And off we went again
And did i eat it?? Nay...
🍎 🍏 🍎
F'rall the times it went to work
It've earnt a pretty penny
Instead of all the bruises
Of that, there were many
🍎 🍏 🍎
So this morning i decided
To set my apple free
As it was now inedible
Well, at least for me
🍎 🍏 🍎
So i went into the garden
And hung the apple from a tree
So the birds could have the pleasure
Of an apple for their tea
🍎 🍏 🍎
The birds they did obliged me
With rawcus crows of joy
Pecking like jack hammers
The apple they'd destroy
🍎 🍏 🍎
So I've made myself a promise
To not waste another fruit
Now in my bag, a small companion
Jeremy, my pet newt.
🦎
May 26, 2025
May 26, 2025 at 1:33 PM UTC
i have seen you
i have spoken to you...
with you..
in different times
in different lives
the same moon
the same sun
we touched our hearts
and our minds
everso gently
in friendship
and the will to do
what was right
in truth we conversed
about truth
we trusted eachother
not truly knowing
one another
but certainly understanding
our shared understanding
a common sense of right
and wrong
you were there for me
and you saved me
from suffocating
in a toxic pool
of deception
i see you still
in different guises
different names
different from before
but still the same
and i wish this world...
this world right here...
would know that
today i breathe
because you held my head
above the water
and didn't let me drown
May 18, 2025
May 18, 2025 at 9:28 AM UTC
so many years have passed
where i have been covered in
ash
and dust
burnt out from too much...
everything
so many days spent languishing
in my own confusion
decifering my broken thoughts
about nothing
i can explain
a mosaic of sunshine and melancholy
stuck together with laughter
and rain
and yet i am still
unable to breathe out of water
but today
for the first time in a millenia
i listened to the sound of the summer birds
and it didn't make me cry
🐦
.
May 12, 2025
May 12, 2025 at 12:20 PM UTC
we watched in awe
as the stars were scattered
upon the dark blanket of heaven
as the bitter cold
enticed our breath
leaving it hanging
like clouds of unspoken joy
our cold hands held tight
as we brought home
our warm hearts
to our sanctuary
our hygge
our home
mars
the bringer of war
shone red below the moon
and i now know
where i am
i am in the north
shining bright
hoping for peace
knowing war
is coming
Feb 3, 2025
Feb 3, 2025 at 3:10 PM UTC
i own everything i do.
and everything i am
(good or bad)
belongs to me
.
i have never had such assiduity
in my own existence.
there is no wonder
in why
i choose to be the island
that i am.
Feb 3, 2024
Feb 3, 2024 at 2:09 PM UTC
coming home at half past dusk
my body is so very weary
my fingers are cold
my tummy
empty
my thoughts are of home
as i trudge my way
through the darkness
a darkness that falls like
autumn leaves.
from late afternoon
the darkness settles
on the ground
starting with the sky
it falls like a billowing eiderdown
onto a cold autumnal bed
twilight flutters
and spiraling down
it slips quietly between the streets
filling fields
covering
in layer upon layer
of blues and violet hues
upon the houses
and the buildings below
tiny stars begin to glow
as the sky turns to indigo
dreams fall upon the cars
and their lonely passengers
radios on
heater cranked to ten
everyone yawning with wishes of home
waiting for the lights to change
commanders of stop and go
the sentry lollipops
are shining their beams
that dazzle so bright
like stars that burn my eyes
as only i can see
the mirage of wondrous colours
its funny how the imperfections
in my vision
make the ordinary
extra ordinary
as i am blinded by something
not real
unreal
more than ordinary
glorious illusions
of glittering light
and as i slowly open
and close my eyes
playing with
the beams to elongate
bend and dazzle
red, gold and green
blinking in disbelief
at the traffic lights delight
night falls and dutifully
it carpets the world
from work
to home
from home
to work
from work
to home...
ad infinitum
coming home
at the end of the day
to the aroma of stew
the warmth of love
my key opens the lock to a
temporary freedom
and the so begins the unwinding
of the machines fingers
the hamster wheel stops at the door
and gratitude fills my soul as i walk in
through the real world portal
dogs barking
cats milling
food
laughter
love
yes this...
and only this....
this is a joyous wage
for a job well done
Nov 5, 2023
Nov 5, 2023 at 11:37 AM UTC
Once upon a time there was a girl
and the girl was ...
the girl was...
okay so,
she just was okay..
she just was
(i am not sure)
and she met a ... man?
he was a man but not an ordinary man.
he was ...
he was.....
loud and dangerous and kind
(only sometimes)
and he broke things.
(hearts,flowers,wooden doors,promises,
the virginity of girls)
But she didn't know that because, he was ... deceiving
(and just out of prison)
and utterly charming and 10 years older...
(but he wasn't like this every day, just most of them)
she was a child (15)
but he did love her
and she did believe him.
But then...
she was also in love with him
because she was
(after many years, co-dependent)
And from day one,
he would twist her words and make her feel
like she was going crazy
(she knew this because, this is what he told her she was)
And he would get angry and use his fists
and his voice to control her.
Also i forgot to tell you.
Her older brother used to look
in the crack of her bedroom door and watch her.
One day he asked her if he could touch her.
She was was 10
but she said no a lot of times before he believed her.
When her mum came up to say goodnight,
she was crying
(the girl)
and she told her Mum what had happened
The mum made the brother come in
and say sorry
and give the girl a hug
and to say sorry...
other things happened over the years that were creepy
(as ****
including a handsy uncle
and a inappropriate series of
touching and kissing
from an older male house guest
who stayed until he got his own place.
The brother continued to 'watch'
So anyway,
the girl was under no illusion that
she was not to ask for things to be normal
and for things to not happen to her
that she didn't like
and to ask for her boundaries to be respected,
it was not something you just asked for
or expected...
so she stopped doing that and was silent instead
and stopped eating
and had anxiety and panic attacks
but she was told
she was not allowed to have them either,
so she turned inside herself
and stayed there
where in the corner of her mind,
in a very small room,
where only flowers grow
and the sun shines
and the sky was blue
she was safe.
So they got married.
Because that life was better than the brother/uncle/guest traumas
and she was girl who was scared
and co-dependent and wishing things
were going to be better one day.
And she was quite sure he
(her now husband)
would sleep
with other people
because some nights
he would not come home
and he would be angry
when she would ask why,
and he would say...
because she didn't give him
(as much ***
as he deserved
so it would be her fault if he went elsewhere
(he said he had not but, if he had, it would have been her fault)
so she didn't ask anymore
because he would throw things at her
he would throw things from around the house
(an iron, a handful of coins, pliers, a hammer, his fists, lies, spiteful and cruel words)
All of them she remembered forever
So he closed her eyes and instead
she could only see through his eyes
just how stupid she was.
And how wrong and broken and twisted
she was.
And because she was wrong and broken and twisted,
she had no right
to ask for kindness.
or to ask for help.
Or to ask that
he touch softly
instead of like a creature
who did not care
for 18 years.
and then perchance
she watched a program on the telly
how people were in prison
for doing the things he had done
but they were normal
Right?
these things were normal for her
She was lucky he didn't hit harder
do all the things he did... More
and on the telly, they said that,
she was one of the people
who were...
Lucky to be alive
And she cried
and she was happy that she had found out
that she was lucky to be alive.
(not the end)
Apr 19, 2023
Apr 19, 2023 at 9:33 AM UTC
all I needed was a softer heart
i needed a kinder hand
a more gentle love
all i needed were forehead kisses
i needed kinder words
a more loving love
i needed to know
i could trust you
i needed to know
I could rely on you
i needed to feel you
softly wipe away my tears
and not to have been
the reason for them
all I needed was a trustworthy path
i needed you to lead the way
and not make me walk blindly
into nothingness
i would have walked
to the ends of the earth
with you
with forever in my heart
with always in my mind
your hand holding mine
never letting go
all I will ever need is kindness
i only ever wanted love
all that i crave
is soft and gentle
in a world of
stick and stones
that so easily
break my bones
Apr 14, 2023
Apr 14, 2023 at 3:39 PM UTC