There are people
who don't know what it means
to be sensitive.
They make fun
of the fact that you feel
more deeply than they do.
I'm not a wimp.
I'm not a baby.
I'm not crying because someone
took my toy
and it's the second grade
all over again.
To tell someone
I don't feel anything
To pretend
That i'm okay
is to lie.
"Go run to your room
like always."
Avoiding conversation
because words boil in your mind
and you know
if you stay around
it's going to overflow.
Tell me something
more than insults.
Do more
than shove knives
down my throat.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 1:23 PM UTC
hair cut short
bandages around her small
strong
hands.
blisters wear the battle
she fought
she's been fighting—
watch out:
she'll show you
what it takes
to survive in a ring
with your demons.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 8:12 PM UTC
there's blood
between my teeth
and kisses
on my bruises—
the bruises you gave me.
you swore
you'd never touch another girl
the way you touched me.
the way your dad
bruised your mom
because "he loved her."
you saw the devil in me
and you tried to save me
beat her out
of my fragile frame—
i saw the devil in you
with each blow
our demons
our devils
swirled and danced around
the room:
like smoke
from your cigarettes.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 7:41 PM UTC
as I roll into these sheets,
the arms of my lover
invisibly extend
to hold my tired bones
in an embrace
that will hold
until you return.
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 6, 2015 at 11:29 AM UTC
say goodbye
through the letters
i wrote to you
on water-logged paper.
fill them with your poetry
written for her.
let me pretend
you wrote them for me.
i'll tell you
i wish i'd kissed you
before i left.
i can't tell
if loving you
has been a delusion.
if loving you
has only been a lie to myself.
miss me.
please.
if i'm to die
before my journey is through,
just know
that i have always
always
always
loved parts of you.
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 1:55 PM UTC
your words clung to me
like wet clothes
and tattoos.
i'm trying to forget
what you told me
in the shadow of the day.
you are a creature
unlike all the rest,
still,
there is no one willing
to be your captor.
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 1:41 PM UTC
there are secrets—
in the pocket of my black coat.
you'd rip the ribbons from my braid
and show me how to love
in whispers.
tearing me apart,
only to put me together
and feel accomplished:
like you were the first
to step foot on the moon
or to kiss me.
i love you dearly,
with your olive eyes
and crooked smile.
you weren't very good at love,
and i was very good at lying.
in the shadows of the moonlight,
you kissed me crudely.
(you'd never kissed anyone before.)
you told me you loved me—
and i told you,
lies ridden in the sentence,
that my love was not for you.
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 9:07 PM UTC
It was bad.
I kept dreaming up realities—
one
where we swam in our spandex
after running
and you kissed me on the mouth.
two
where we laid side by side
in the bed of your old truck
and i showed you constellations
and told you each
and every story
that belonged to them.
three
where you held onto me
and your face was buried into my neck
as the tears flowed
from your swampy eyes.
each dream i dream of you
is a waste of energy.
you will never be mine.
May 26, 2015
May 26, 2015 at 5:59 PM UTC
In between the time
from when I get to my car and turn it on—
you're there.
nestled in my brain space.
between all the seconds and minutes
of my day.
you tango with thoughts of him,
i'd say it's a battle.
in between the two of you,
there is me.
this isn't a fight,
but my soul is racked with something
something i cannot name
something i've never known.
in between these fleeting thoughts
i see your faces flash
brown eyes and then blue.
one fighting to stay and threaten the other
to leave.
nothing goes.
your faces mold into
someone i do not know
and the confusion grows.
in between these spaces
are unpredictable thoughts
and feelings
i don't share.
(you linger there.)
i still remember the smell of you,
and the way you kissed me
one last time.
i find myself wishing i could open up
and cry to someone
(someone meaning you)
but you aren't here
and i'm left trying to find words
to describe these musings
in between seconds
to strangers.
May 2, 2015
May 2, 2015 at 11:21 AM UTC
Take me to the sea
when the rivers run dry.
Sit on the sand
and make our getaway:
a castle with assortments of shells.
The ocean is quick to take away
what it has given us.
Take me to the sea
and kiss me on the mouth.
Take me home.
(which is wherever you are
and you are very far from me.)
I sit on the beach,
the grains of sand caressing my skin,
hearing the ocean clap onto the shore–
It's my applause.
The sun kisses my face.
I close my eyes tightly,
feeling your hand on my cheek,
pressing my face to yours.
I smell the sunshine on your neck
and your saltwater sweat.
I am dreaming desperately
to find a piece of you that will linger
long enough to fool me.
I lay in the ocean,
the waves lapping at my body
all which are miniature kisses
sent from you.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 3:12 PM UTC