i love the moon
wrapped around my neck
the small crescent moon bouncing happily on my heart
as we hold hands
that same beautiful moon
in which i trace with my fingers
feeling the smooth moonstone
be imprinted with my fingerprints
that same affectionate moon
as it glided on your chest when we gasped for more air
and you held me close to your heart
as the moonlight shined softly from the window
that same wonderstruck moon
we would fight under
tears that reflected the moonstone
always streaming down my face
that same gleaming moon
that you would wipe my tears
with the hands i had felt for years
and all i could do was look up and dream of
that same distant moon
where i had found out about your disloyalty
and i felt myself slipping into vast space
putting myself in front of asteroids just to feel something
that same sickening moon
taunting me with the way it just
stays up there, coming out only at night
only to observe and listen for chaos that reigns after dark
that same wicked moon
that was suffocating me in my sleep
when i would lie next to your empty shell
gasping for air as i wipe my moonstone tears
that same dreadful moon
as it watched me deteriorate in your arms
burning holes into my chest
dwindling my soul until it left me hollow
i... used to love the moon
when i knew that it was lovingly
wrapped around my neck by you
and you would feel the moonstone with your lips
i used to love the moon
until the last star died
and i ripped it off from my neck
and drove myself into a black hole
that same cynical moon
that you proclaimed your love to me too,
was the same ******* moon
that my entire being was shattered by you
...
i ******* hate the moon.
Jun 17, 2021
Jun 17, 2021 at 9:34 PM UTC
I can’t stand looking in the mirror.
Just wanting to slice away the imperfections.
Want to rip my veins to never feel again.
To succumb to the nothingness that I am.
Be something for someone in the afterlife.
Enough leftover pain to make them cry.
For being the spitting image of what I lack.
You should know, scrolling through your phone, seeing the prettiest beings with their legs spread wide open and fingers in their mouth drooling for your eyes to see them.
and I just think:
**** I just want to be enough for you.
Jun 7, 2021
Jun 7, 2021 at 5:51 AM UTC
leave me in my chaos, won't you?
these cries for help are just empty echoes, isn't it?
ignore my tears as they fall, would you?
leave me alone when my body collapses onto the pavement.
isn't this what you wanted?
the sight of my bleeding knees fills you with joy, doesn't it?
and when i cry, you blame it on the chemical imbalance in my brain, isn't that right?
i only ask for you to kneel beside me
maybe even put a band-aid on or two,
so maybe i would stop bleeding and crying for you.
so maybe i could just breathe,
and walk straight for just a few seconds.
so maybe the taste of your lips
can make me forget the taste of my blood.
But telling you that is too much for you, isn't it?
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 2, 2018 at 1:53 AM UTC
and so i sit here in tears
clutching onto my phone
constantly going back and forth between apps
seeing how you are silent with me
but alive to everyone else.
and im left here to wonder
if me trying to do the simplest things to show i love you
is even enough to let me see your heart
but only these **** tears
that must have already turned my body
into a raging ocean
washes away the bitterness that i gain
and i force myself to smile
to say im sorry
to be the one to message you first
and try to have conversations
to be the only one feeling horrible
about speaking my feelings
just to prevent your tears
to contaminate my overflowing water
my heart ******* hurts.
but you ignore that, just like the messages.
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 2:04 AM UTC
losing your heart
to someone else
is like losing your virginity
once you do it
you can't go back
you'll never be the same.
so why is it that
when i fell in love
with a pixel screen
abandoned in
the other side of the world
did i not feel pain?
why did it feel
as if nothing happened
that we did not
kiss
or say i love you
or make love
late into the night
why does it all just feel like
these memories were set in some kind of
parallel universe?
that begs the question...
did i really love you?
or did i just fall out of
this lonesome feeling?
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 2:07 PM UTC
Sickly
And
Dizzy
Thats
How
Anyone
Tells
Sees
Hear
Only if these
Wielding clocks could stop
I
Lied
I
Killed myself years ago
Evening filled of sorrow
I couldn’t
Take it anymore
Now I can
Only open my eyelids
When my
Grave is found
Or when
The tears wash away yesterday
Of when I
Slit my throat
Like if I was just snipping paper
Effectively cutting my artery
Eventually falling to a
Paralyzing feeling, lead into dark
I
A
M
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 3:08 AM UTC
i wish you coul(d) gauge my eyes (o)ut
and peek ins(i)de the hollow walls
dripping with red pain(t)
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 2:56 AM UTC
shush
just for
a moment.
breathe
in the
oxygen.
do you
feel it?
filling up
your lungs?
do you
feel my
presence
as my
chest moves
rhythmically
with yours?
do you
feel your
heart beat
like crazy
when I
make love
to you?
do you
feel the
warmness
of the bed
as we
intertwine hands?
would it
make you
feel better
if I
stayed here
forever?
would you
hold me
tightly as
our souls
become one?
do you
hear the
breeze
coming from
the opened
window?
it sounds
peaceful
doesn't it?
just being
alive?
just
breathing
the same
air?
tasting sweet
strawberry lips
being rebellious
on touching
works of
art, staining
canvases with
finger prints.
feeling our
pulsating hearts
run our
blood through
our veins.
wrapping my
arms around
you, hoping
I can
freeze time
forever.
your sweet
smell that
sweeps my
feet over,
intoxicating
me with
this linger
and memory
of this
peaceful day.
no,
don't say
anything.
let our
minds communicate
let us
drown in
each other
let us
love
let us
be tranquil
let us
kiss
let us
breathe.
just for
a moment
before the
commotions
of the
world resumes.
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 1:22 PM UTC
depression lingers
like your cologne on my clothes
depression lingers
like mosquitoes in lamps
depression lingers
like tears that stain your pillow
depression lingers
like a traumatic memory
depression lingers
like the weight of you on me
depression lingers
like my lipstick on your cigarette
depression lingers
like a drug addict's binge
depression lingers
like the scars on my skin
depression lingers
like red paint on broken mirrors
depression lingers
and it never goes away
it never stops
there is no end
i wish friendship would linger longer,
maybe then
depression would stop ringing my door bell at 3AM.
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 11:51 PM UTC
end this unnecessary bickering
why does it have to be this way
i toss you a ******* bone
in return, ****** stones are thrown
bruising me
hurting me
torturing me
pummeling me deeper
in this god forsaken soil
where hell lives just underneath
waiting to embrace me.
...
but you don't see that, do you?
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 11:44 PM UTC