(November)
it is a wonder how I came to love you
so much that I feel all your pain
when it hits you.
it is like I wear you on my heart and
whenever you break, it breaks too.
looking at you, I wonder
how you smile and laugh
and love through all the hurt dealt
to you by the world.
I realised, one day,
that you are my smile too,
my laughter and my love.
you remind me to catch the
sun’s rays so it can be my
light in darkness;
to put my own pain on
like a vest so I am able
to shed it later and stop it
from becoming a part of me.
it still baffles me how we
do not share a mother because
I love you more than I can fathom.
I think I understand it better now:
you are the sister the universe
forgot to give me.
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 11:24 AM UTC
It might be odd that I see myself as a vase –
an ornament –
waiting to be filled…
with nights of immense passion and pleasure,
days of adventure and discovery,
and feelings that wake me up in the middle of the night
with remnants of your touch on my skin
and ashes from the fire ignited by your lips
as they made love to mine
Fill me
What is left of me is this fragmented figure
on the verge of explosion –
into nothingness to match my soul.
Empty:
the sweet-nothings that you whisper into my ear
startle you when they echo back
Your tears, in response, are like clay between the cracks,
a balm for those on my heart
Fill me
You hear my cries for help when I wake up
screaming from a nightmare.
I am wrapped in your arms and
your steady heartbeat is a tranquilizer,
an anesthetic.
Your caresses are gentle
as you sing me a lullaby.
I allow myself to enter my nightmares
without fear because I will wake up in your
armoured embrace.
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 4:01 PM UTC
I wrote myself a note yesterday;
as a sort of… reminder.
but not my usual, trivial note.
I scribbled it absent-mindedly.
When I read over it:
it was like I stepped on a small stone…
a quick, sharp pain
It was not like:
“empty the bin” or
“do homework”
This reminder came as a
soul-shattering question,
the type your heart runs
away from
and your tears…
your tears are drawn to it.
I read it – over and over –
and felt my burn.
It burnt like something
was being engraved onto it…
a reminder
And it bled.
god, how it bled.
Drop
after
drop
of blood leaves with
pieces
of me.
Emptying what is already empty
draining.
But,
leaving behind
the reminder.
I strained my eyes
to read over the words burnt
onto my skin as a slave would have:
Are you happy?
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 3:52 PM UTC