Old people cling on to stories
young people cling on to dreams
roots cling to soil,
lips cling to lips deep in a kiss
Atoms cling together in mysterious ways
To make up the life we are all living
The life to which we all cling,
To which we all are clinging
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 8:32 PM UTC
My magic has disappeared!
dying and withering
Like puff the magic dragon ceasing to be or
like the disappearance of the giving tree
The belief I could be anyone I wanted,
My joy in trying new things and ability to always try my best
My sense of invincibility,
My lack of shame and fearless positivity.
All dried up and gone from me
In my life, I have often desired the wrong things for the wrong reasons
I am happy to see my blind ambition struck down, dead —
like a greedy soldier ends with a spear passing through his head
I tell you truly, I do not miss it,
But my ambition seems to have taken my true dreams with it
sending them scattering, afraid, hiding to avoid being broken or lost
What a miserable cost
The cost or never learning to dance
Of the joy in my Euphonium solos being overcome by insecurity
Of feeling everywhere perceived from my frizzy hair to my tiny feet
The cost of being so disappointed in myself I am afraid to open my ears
Afraid of what I do not wish to hear,
like I have messed up or have caused harm,
that I am hopeless, or broken,
That I will never be someone I can respect,
That lifetimes are built only on regret
The cost of being lazy or afraid to work hard,
The cost of bitterness becoming my new god
The cost of being a bad daughter, sister and friend,
Of choosing loneliness because I can’t trust my love for them
I am like the pennant paying penance instead of living better because it is easier to seek forgiveness that to make amends,
I am like a poet who only writes because they are afraid of a life beyond the endless words echoing in their hollow head
I love to walk but can’t pick up my feet,
Even on a planet that spins and amidst light that moves at impossible speed
Even in a world where trees put forth shoots forever,
I can’t tear myself from the precipice of never
Even when peace waits patiently for me
I cannot surrender
In some lost soul I believe that with enough grace
In this messy world, even messy me has my messy place
But I become daily less certain that I will ever find it.
In a world so full of strength how did I end up so weak?
Can I shed my guilt and fear and become boldly who I want to be?
Can I ever be free?
Or will I postpone courage to no end?
Will I never try again?
I want to believe in my magic!
I’m tired of pretending life is tragic
I want to become a harder worker, a better daughter, sister, and friend
To make the impossible a daily habit!
Like the planet spinning and light moving at impossible speeds
Like the way shoots are put off by trees
I am opening myself like a flower opens for the sun,
I am stretching myself like a flower towards the sun
I am asking for help
I am asking for damage to be undone
Can the universe bless me once again?
Can the universe once more open its infinite heart?
After doing everything so wrong, am I allowed a fresh start?
May 21
May 21, 2026 at 3:52 AM UTC
You are a positive person,
like waking to birds singing and blue sky,
like tap water on a thirsty tongue.
I become excited to see you, and a little shy,
like moon is shy of sun showing her she can also shine.
May 14
May 14, 2026 at 5:01 AM UTC
Your love is so sweet and soft that it completes me in my incompleteness, fills my emptiness, and leaves me at peace in a peaceless world.
Your love greets me in my darkness and pulls me to your light. Your love is of the infinite kind that reverberates through the universe and echoes through all times, yet only exists here and now between you and I.
You taught me to rely on you without shame and lean on you without asking forgiveness. In your arms, I am not afraid of my littleness. In your arms, I am not afraid of my ignorance. Your love is not earned, but freely given.
I come before your love knowing I do not understand it, and I do not try. “Why” is such an evil word it’s said to have knocked us from heaven's garden and keeps me faithless and stranded most of my life. But I will not ask why infinite chances aligned to entangle your arms with mine. In the space between our eyes, faith greets me as quietly and casually as sunshine.
After searching hopelessly for meaning, you remind me that it is nothing more than the warmth of your touch. After longing for completeness, a moment with you is, at last, enough.
May 5
May 5, 2026 at 6:01 AM UTC
Faith is not absolute.
It is a matter of understanding, than being swayed,
of being pulled in and pushed away,
of conviction and confusion,
neither one giving way.
Love is not constant.
It is a matter of remembering and forgetting,
of growing weary, then lonely
of gratitude and regret.
Utopia is not an impossibility, nor an eternity.
It emerges like a moonflower at dusk,
Breathe in the wonder, let down your defenses,
then go back to being tough.
We get pulled into deceit and away from each other.
Life is a process of returning.
Return stronger and freer.
Get better at surrender.
Experience the sublime in a moment,
knowing it will not last forever.
May 5
May 5, 2026 at 5:44 AM UTC
How could I ever get tired of a place like this?
Upon opening my closed eyes,
they are filled with only horizon,
land, ocean, and sky held in the same space and time.
The waves crashing endlessly against the rocky beach,
the rough sky filled with clouds and sunbeams,
a pair of hawks hovering on an invisible breeze.
I came from the sinews of a world
which I now sense churning with energy,
a connection so deep, I wonder at the loneliness I had let inside,
feeling it evaporate as the sun reaches down to all parts of me.
I came to the ocean to think about myself,
but am pulled into the scene around me
like a riptide I am incapable of fighting,
until I am drowning in the present moment,
and even hope is stilled inside of me.
I always thought hopelessness would be my end,
but it feels like a new beginning.
My father once said: "you have to look at a lifetime like you look at
an ocean. You can’t hope for it to be anything other than what it is. "
Taking in both the ocean and myself,
I try not to be too afraid of our power, our mystery,
and our inability to be controlled.
Apr 3
Apr 3, 2026 at 2:05 AM UTC
The season where bristly seeds and briars
Stick in hair and snag on clothes
Outside library windows
Learning what is means for the wind to whistle
Glimpsing hope and conviction
From the life that surrounds me
Despite the state of the world
and the state of myself
Reminding me that,
as stagnant as I feel,
I am still moving forwards
headed towards a destination
That will meet me when I get there
But for now the scents and sensations surrounding me
And the sight of the sun rising slowly in the East
Seeming to ask how it is that hope can fade
while the sun is so beautifully rising?
Asserting peace from its domain far beyond me
And my search for happiness
Telling me that happiness is now,
Offering me in a single gesture
what I have spent a lifetime searching for
inviting me to leave behind the comforts I have evaporated myself into
To wrench myself from the jaws
Of a world that would drive you to always take control
Promising what you are looking for
is on the other end of this battle against life
which we are all fighting,
frozen in it’s eternal standstill
at the ****** of its brutal sorrow
And for a time, I accept the suns invitation
I forget that there ever was a road to follow
And am overcome with a love of life
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 4:50 PM UTC
I'm going to New Mexico
to wait for the world to end
when the snow falls endlessly in the winter
i feel so at peace
that even history ceases haunting me
The ghost of my grandma
stumbling drunk through her flower garden
flees before me,
ashamed.
Everything stops.
The only motion the falling flakes
stillness returning as they hit the ground.
I'll tend my grandpas vegetable garden
and all his cats
Cook my meals in the big kitchen downstairs
In a home that holds both my childhood
and sorrow as consuming as the wildfires
that nearly burnt it down
knowing only that I love the land around me
where the mesas fold endlessly into the distance like ribbonwork
the only place where my love isn't blocked up
like clogged arteries
where it just flows and flows
Mar 3
Mar 3, 2026 at 2:45 PM UTC
time passes too quickly
Like the lighting bugs zipping into the vanishing point
Outside my car window
As a little girl
Driving through Pawhuska Oklahoma
I miss my disposition
Back in those days
I had so much to give
So little to lose
before you know It
You’ve become who you feared you would be
In my room
***** plates
Stack of books i am not reading
Piles of unkempt jewlery
Dying plants i never water
Telling myself: Maybe I’m just a decision away
If I let go of everything I have
I’ll find everything I’ve wanted
if I call these words a prayer
Can i find a way?
Feb 26
Feb 26, 2026 at 3:19 AM UTC
How to be happy again?
Positive thinking
Find gratitude
Exercise more
I’m going to be happy today
But it never works
Pressing
Into myself
Sitting in class
The way I tap my feet
I feel ashamed
I’m going to be happy tomorrow
But In the morning
the sun rises
Without me
Think positive!
Be grateful
Exercise more
How to be happy again?
Feb 26
Feb 26, 2026 at 3:12 AM UTC