IF THIS MY GOODBYE
SO BE IT
IF YOU FIND THIS
JUST KNOW
I LOVE YOU
WHOLEHEARTEDLY
MY DECISION
MY LIFE
YOU COULDN'T STOP SHEIT IF YOU TRIED
PROBABLY WOULD HAVE MADE ME STAY ANOTHER DAY
AND MAYBE ANOTHER DAY AFTER THAT
BUT EVENTUALLY YOU WOULD HAVE GREW TIRED
AND EVENTUALLY I WOULD HAVE TOO
I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER BEFORE
LOOKING FOR FLOWERS TO BLOOM
IN PLACES THAT NEEDED FIXING
OR I THOUGHT NEEDED FIXING
FOR THAT MATTER
I HATE IT HERE SOMETIMES
THIS PLACE IS NO PLACE FOR ME
BECAME SENSITIVE TO EVERY TOPIC
BECAME SCHIZ EVEN
WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME
HOME
BECAME FURTHER THEN I THOUGHT
I JUST KEPT SPIRALING
SENSITIVE BECAUSE SHEIT GOT REAL
AND TEARS STARTED FLOWING
EVER SINCE THAT CALL CAME
I BECAME DISTANT
THAT OUTER BODY EXPERIENCE
WAITING FOR YOU
TO GET BACK
FELT LIKE I ENTERED ANOTHER
DIMENSION
LOST
TRYING TO GET BACK
EVERY TIME I HELD YOU
I FELT THIS DISCONNECT
WITH BEING PRESENT
I CRIED THE LOUDEST
YET NO ONE HEARD ME
EVERYDAY
FELT MIXY
I TRUSTED YOU
GOT ME
KILLED
****
YOU GOT ME
I HOPE YOU FEEL ACCOMPLISHED
WHY ME
OVERPLAYED
LIKE AN UNRELEASED BEAT
YOU HAD NOTHING TO LOSE
I FELT PLANTED
IT WAS **** ME WHEN IT RAIN
OUTTA STATE
OUTTA MIND
FEELING BODIED
DRIVING THE BOAT
PRAYING IT DON'T SINK
PRAYING THIS RAIN DON'T LAST FOREVER
HOW IT SUNNY OUTSIDE
AND ALL I FEEL IS RAIN
DRIVING THE BOAT
YET IN OUTER SPACE
MIND SPEEDING
IF ONLY I SMOKE THAT
THERE WOULD BE A LOT OF SMOKE IN THE AIR
IF I LEAVE NOW
THERE AIN'T NO COMING BACK
WEIGHING EVERYTHING
BECAME TIRESOME
I BLAMED MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
TOOK A HOLD ON THAT SINGLE THOUGHT
I THOUGHT
FOR SO LONG
AFTER THAT
DISCONNECTED TO RECONNECT
DISCONNECT TO FEEL
RECONNECTED
YET YOU STILL LINGERED IN MY MIND
I AM LIVID FOR SPEEDING
MAYBE IF I SLOWED DOWN
YOU WOULD HAVE MISSED ME
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME LIKE THIS
WHEN I FEEL LIKE I'M AT MY LOWEST
TOO WEAK
TO WANTING TO GET UP SOMETIMES
I RATHER JUST STAY HERE
FAKING THAT SMILE KNOWING THAT SHEIT
WEIGHING ON ME
FELL TOO MANY TIMES
TRYING TO GET YOU TO
COMPREHEND ME
IT BECAME TIRESOME
I MISS YOU LIKE VACATION
THIS THAT YOU NEED STOMACH FOR
THIS THAT YOU READY HOLD ON
TRYING TO HOLD ON MYSELF
TO FAST FORWARD
I FINALLY MADE IT HOME
BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG
HOME FEELS FOREIGN
HOME DON'T FEEL LIKE IT DID BEFORE
SO I'M ALWAYS OUTSIDE
TRYING TO STAY OUT MY CONSCIOUS
SMOKE THAT DRILL THIS
THIS CONSTANT FEELING OF NOTHING CHANGING
HOME SUPPOSE TO FEEL WARM
HOME SUPPOSE TO FEEL SAFE
WHERE HOME AT
WHEN YOU ALWAYS IN OUTER SPACE
NOT SUICIDAL
THIS AIN'T NO SUICIDAL NOTE
NOT SUICIDAL
JUST CURIOUS ON
THE KILLER ME
NOT SUICIDAL
I JUST MISS ME
Aug 7, 2023
Aug 7, 2023 at 11:24 AM UTC
THE DEMONS YOU CAN’T HIDE
I KNOW YOU HURTING DEEP INSIDE
I KNOW THAT FAKE SMILE
HOLDS A LOT
I COULD TELL BY YOUR EYES
YOU NEED HEALING
I COULD TELL BY YOUR MIND
EVERYTHING FOR YOU IS MISLEADING
TRYING TO PIECE PIECES ON TOP OF PIECES
WHILE MIND SPEEDING
MIND ALWAYS RACING
ONE THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS TO
ALWAYS HAVE PATIENCE
HAVING WITHDRAWALS TRYING NOT TO GO
BACKWARDS
SO YOU UP
THINKING TO YOURSELF
LET’S SEE HOW FAR I CAN GO
BEFORE I CRASH
HOPING I MAKE IT FURTHER THIS TIME
I CAN’T LOOK BACK NOW
I MADE IT SO FAR
FEELINGS IN DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS
GOING THROUGH DIFFERENT EMOTIONS
PIECES WITHIN MORE PIECES
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MESS
I CALL ART
A MASTERPIECE IN THE MAKING
WHEN I EXPRESS
I BREAK DOWN
EVERY SO OFTEN
THROUGHOUT MY NIGHTS
THROUGHOUT MY DAYS
THIS FEELING HURTS
I AM HAPPY FOR MY FUTURE ENDEAVORS
I DESERVE THIS
AND SIMULTANEOUSLY
DEEP DOWN I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN
INTERNALLY
AND AS I FOCUS
I FEEL EVERY BIT OF
EVERYTHING
I AM LIVID
I AM DISGUSTED
WITH MYSELF
FOR ALLOWING THINGS TO ALTER
LOOKING AT MY REFLECTION
AS I SPIRALED
I WENT COMPLETELY BLACK
I SUNK
I WASN’T ME
I WAS IN A DARK PLACE FOR A YEAR
FOR THE TIME I SPENT THERE
IT MADE ME STRONGER
NOW IM DEFEATING MY DEMONS
IM WARRIOR
IM BECOMING EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE
THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF
SCULPTING EVERY BIT OF ME
STARTING WITH MY MIND
THIS JOURNEY ISN’T GOING TO BE EASY
WE BOTH ARE AWARE OF IT
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT
YOU ARE IMPORTANT
YOU WEIGHT
YOU MATTER
EVEN WHEN YOU SINK
EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU CANT
YOU CAN
AND THERE ARE GOING TO BE
DAYS
EASIER THAN OTHERS
NIGHTS
HARDER THAN OTHERS
AND WHEN YOU FALL
FROM SUCH HEIGHTS
DON’T GIVE UP
STAY STRONG
LOVE YOURSELF
FORGIVE YOURSELF
EVERY SINGLE TIME
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
WHEN NEEDED
FIGHT FOR YOURSELF
LIKE YOU FIGHT FOR OTHERS
THEY NEED YOU
SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF
BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME
DON’T LET THE PAST HOLD YOU BACK
OF YOUR BLESSINGS
LET GO OF ANYTHING THAT’S HINDERS YOU
THE ONLY
THAT CLOSURE YOU THINK YOU NEED IS JUST TAKING
STEPS FORWARD
AND NEVER LOOKING BACK
A DAY AT A TIME
WE GOT THIS
THROUGH TRAILS & TRIBULATIONS MADE
FOR LESSONS LEARNED
AND SO MUCH MORE TO GAIN
❤️🩹
Mar 10, 2023
Mar 10, 2023 at 9:05 AM UTC
🌌 🌌🌌 🌌🤍🌌 🌌🌌 🌌
You like the waves
when they sitting
you create this feeling
where we lose track of time
for every moment spent
cherished
this that
i love you softly
keeping me leveled
even on days
below zero
and you still find ways
to keep me together
every time you touch me
you take me there every trip
you keep me from drowning
when i'm with you
i float
you my high
my remedy
🌊🌊🌊🌊🤍🌊🌊🌊🌊
Mar 29, 2022
Mar 29, 2022 at 1:32 AM UTC
BUT THESE BUTTERFLIES CREATE FEELING
SUCH GREAT FEELING
YOUR PERSONA / AURA QUIET
BUT I BET YOUR MIND LOUD
AND
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE NOBODY'S REACHING
JUST KNOW YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
ALWAYS
I'LL COME RUNNING
I KNOW PAIN
& IT'S NOTHING NICE
DIFFERENT STORIES
MAYBE
BUT ITS ALL PAIN
NO MATTER WHICH PIECES YOU HAVE
OR MAY HAVE LOST
I WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL OF ME BECAUSE
I CAN'T DO HALF *** FEELINGS
SOMETIMES I WANT TO EXPRESS MYSELF
OTHER DAYS I DON'T WANT TO SHOW ANY EMOTIONS
KISS MY MIND GENTLY
SLOWLY
I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY
GOOD INTENTIONS FOR MY LIFE
NO PLACE HERE FOR ANYTHING
DRAINING, STAGNANT, OR MISLEADING
I WANT TO BE LOVED ENTIRELY
KNOWING MY FLAWS
WANTING TO BECOME A
BETTER VERSION FOR MYSELF
UNTIL I CAN'T ANY LONGER
SO MUCH TIME WASTED
ON
PEOPLE NOT REALLY KNOWING THEMSELVES
NOT KNOWING ANYTHING BUT EVERYTHING
OR FOR THAT MATTER OF SECOND GUESSING EVERYTHING
THAT FEELS RIGHT
BECAUSE IN A COLD WORLD
THAT FEELING RIGHT JUST DOESN'T SIT RIGHT WITH THEM ANY LONGER
BECAUSE WITH EVERYTHING THAT FELT RIGHT
SHIFTED LEFT
CONGRATULATIONS YOU DONE PLAYED YOURSELF
SIMULTANEOUSLY FEELING EVERYTHING
ALL AT ONCE
FROM NOT WANTING TO FEEL ANYTHING
MOST DAYS
CAN BECOME DARK FAST
NOT WANTING TO FEEL ANYTHING
JUST SO THERE'S LESS PIECES OF ME SCATTERED
A PIECE OF ME WILL FOREVER REIGN
& I'LL FOREVER NOT EVER BE THE SAME
I ACCEPTED THAT
FEEL LIKE I WANT TO DROWN WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER
AND OTHER DAYS FEELING UNSTOPPABLE
ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE I FEEL PIECES
WITHIN PIECES THAT HELD A PIECE OF ME
TRAILS & TRIBULATIONS MADE
FOR LESSONS LEARNED
AND SO MUCH MORE TO GAIN
Jan 25, 2022
Jan 25, 2022 at 4:03 AM UTC
Hottest Summer turned to the coldest Winter
Drinking all this liquor, it keep me burning ruining my liver
Oh I can’t sleep
Hell is loving you in my sleep and waking up alone
I met you in my dreams
Stories were untold
Told me
We were going to have better days
Oh how much I love sleep
Oh how much I can’t sleep
Can’t accept that you only exist when my eyes closed
Time ran fast when my eyes closed
Thought we were close
I would wait for you
You never showed
After that heated argument
You never showed
Now I have no one to hold me while I sleep
Now I hate sleep
So tired I lost track of time
Time ran slow without you
Parts of me feels like I can’t do this without you
So many letters I lost track of that too
Days ahead still not over you
I want to continue dreaming
I want to Dream forevermore
& now I drown my body in caffeine
Trying not to dream
Knowing that the farther I am
The weight becomes light
And I can breathe again
Blurred vision with tears blinding me
Ever felt heavy heart
Ever felt distorted thoughts ruining you
Tearing you apart
Knowing you kept me whole
Connection bond through body & soul
Jan 16, 2022
Jan 16, 2022 at 5:53 PM UTC
The frequency rains to such tone
That only grasp meaning
Of the heartfelt person you are
So deep beyond measures
Where words piece themselves naturally
And I look at your pieces
And my pieces
And think to myself
There are so many pieces
Pieced together in such ways
Peace is longing for
Wishing I could make all the hurt go away
Wishing the times you felt alone
I could hold you until you become
A flower
I'll never forget how beautiful you are
Every time I don’t see you
I think about every detail of you
Starting from the inside
Jan 16, 2022
Jan 16, 2022 at 5:30 PM UTC
As broken as I am
Turning every situation left
As if love has left
And I’m trying to love yet
My heart is Harden
The possibilities of it being played with is endless
My mind says
So delicate my heart
Be gentle with my heart
I ask of you to kiss my mind
With your eyes and let your lips
Sync to the melodic getaways
Let it play out
Until the seasons repeat
Let it play out
Until forever more
That I want to give it to you
but I’m sensitive to every situation
Dealt with it all in the past
Not wanting to come across another project
Trying to piece my heart together
Simultaneously finding myself
Wondering
Why I could never get anything right
Look at the waves how wild they can become
Yet so soft sometimes
Underneath lies a larges amount of nothing more
But it depends how you look at it
There is free Hillary written all over my canvas
The pen ran dry
The words remain the same with vivid details
Safe me
Reflected on her eyes
My own eyes
Your voice calms the wild
Throughout the storms
So soft spoken you are
So driven with your art
So multi talented *** you
I’ll let you tell it
Synced in with the melodic getaways
The energy so fire yet water nor anything can put it out
Jan 16, 2022
Jan 16, 2022 at 5:15 PM UTC
Leaving me with so much on my mind
I can't believe I roared the loudest in silent times and as time goes
On I realized I would have
Never been strong without loving myself first
Jan 16, 2022
Jan 16, 2022 at 5:06 PM UTC
IF YOU HAD A SIGN
A TOKEN THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE
WOULD YOU TAKE THE CHANCE
WOULD YOU LET IT CHANGE YOUR LIFE
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU MY TOKEN WAS MY VOICE
WOULD YOU TAKE THE CHANCE AND LISTEN
IF YOU HAD A CHOICE
THIS THAT HIGH FEELING REALLY LIFTED
THIS THAT GREAT FEELING THIS THAT VISION
THIS THAT WE SPEAK SHEIT INTO EXISTENCE
SOME CAN'T STAND THE HEAT SO THEY DISTANCE
NO PETTINESS HERE
THAT AIN'T NOTHING NICE
YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU'LL SEE THEM TWICE
THINKING YOU'LL SEE THEM TWICE
WHY WOULD YOU MATCH NEGATIVE ENERGY
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WASTE YOUR TIME
GROWTH IS ESSENTIAL
I SEE THE POTENTIAL
KEEP GOING NEVER STOP
YOU DESTINED YOU BOUND
PICTURE YOURSELF AT THE TOP
BLESSINGS ON TOP OF MORE BLESSINGS
CAREFUL WHO YOU KEEP AROUND
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 3:22 PM UTC
NATURALLY EXPRESSING YOUR FULL ESSENCE WITH THE
ABILITY TO OPEN UP TO YOU, HAVING THE
KEY FOR YOU TO SHOW ME ALL OF YOU, I WANT TO SEE, FEEL, HEAR, TASTE,
EVERYTHING; YOU HOLD THAT
DIAMOND PIECE THAT GEM
NEVER HAD I
EVER
SEEN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
SOUL
Sep 9, 2020
Sep 9, 2020 at 2:46 AM UTC