Still stuck in this hole
I'm starting to like it down here
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 1:47 PM UTC
We lay in my bed
Still wrapped in each others arms
Our clothes sprawled on the floor
We're still breathing heavily
This is normal
He'll come over every Wednesday
We'll do this every Wednesday
The same thing
And we're used to this
We like this
We'd only have a few minutes left
Before my dad came home
But we'll risk it and lay together
Just for one more minute
Then he'll put his clothes on
I'll straddle him one last time
He'll pick me up
Kiss me goodbye
And drive away
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 7:49 PM UTC
Hi, my name is Alli
And I have an addiction
I see blurry remains
Through my mascara tears
I fill my clouded head
With screams that nobody hears
I blast my music through my headphones
But his voice still echos in my head
I'm beginning to think I may never overcome this
I continue to relapse, time and time again
Maybe it's time I stop trying to recover
Maybe this is who I am
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 9:28 PM UTC
I am good for a while
I'll talk more, laugh more
Sleep and eat normally
But then something happens
Like a switch turns off somewhere
And all I am left with is the darkness of my mind
But each time it seems like I sink
Deeper and deeper
And I am scared...
Terrified that one day I won't make it back up
I feel like I am gasping for air
Screaming for help
But everyone just looks at me
With confused faces
Wondering what I am struggling over
When they're all doing just fine
And it makes me feel crazy
What the hell is wrong with me?
~m.h
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 9:53 PM UTC
Alright, fine
I'm done trying
I waited too long for you to come around
Clearly you're not
So..
You win
It's time to say goodbye
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 12:44 PM UTC
I will destroy you
In the most beautiful
Way possible
And when I leave
You will finally understand
Why storms
Are named after people
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 9:40 PM UTC
Welcome to my world
It sure is dark in here
We don't see light often
But when we do
It's beautiful
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 5:40 PM UTC
Amen
Take me to church
Ill worship like a dog
At the shrine of your lies
Ill tell you my sins
So you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Oh good God
Let me give you my life
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 12:30 PM UTC
Old habits becoming the present
Past thoughts rushing back
Forgotten struggles now resurfacing
You thought you were a new person
But you're not
You didn't change
That part of you was just hiding
You said that you would never
Lower yourself to doing that again
You said that you learned your lesson
But here you are
Laying in a different bed
With a different guy
Practicing the same old habits
Hating yourself
Adding more scars to those existing
But paint that smile back on your face
So family
So friends
So strangers
Can't see the pain
Your suffering
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 3:21 PM UTC
Well it's over
And I'm not sad
In fact, I'm happy
I'm so glad I got to know you
So glad we spent time together
You made me happy
And I thank you for that
I will keep our memories
I hope you will do the same
I'm not mad at you for ending us
I want you to be happy
And if your not happy with me
Then we need to walk away
I'm thankful for the experience
And for the love you gave me
I won't forget you
And I hope you will do the same for me
Let's not be strangers again
Let's go back to the beginning
You were a great boyfriend
But you were a better friend
Lets not let this lose our friendship
Because that means so much to me
You mean so much to me
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 3:55 PM UTC