dragged down to hell
if there is one
in a dizzying stupor
blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
lying and lying and lying
can’t find my pants anywhere
forgetting that shy girl holed up in her room
she was boring anyway
and releasing a *****
maybe i’ll make more friends
forget the past
doesn’t matter anyway
forget tomorrow
not to mention class
forget four years down the road
when i have to grow up
**** that ****
tonight i’m gonna party
Sep 24, 2012
Sep 24, 2012 at 8:17 PM UTC
“And the people in the houses
All went to the university
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same.”
unity
or
insignificance?
living for the weekend
dreading the week
but going through it
because it’s required
drowning in a sea of decisions
that won’t matter in a hundred years
finding self fulfillment
inside your own mind
to escape the emptiness
forced through a path
willingly
because it’s good enough for everyone else
zoom in
splashes of color
zoom out
shades of gray
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:48 PM UTC
they said i could be whatever i wanted to be
president, actress, astronaut
my limit was beyond the sky
i didn’t have one at the time
but growing up changes things
they say “you need a job that makes money”
life becomes more permanent
deadlines approach
decisions need to be made
and I sit here
dreaming of everything i could be
half my head in the clouds
the other half’s on the ground
part wishing
part wanting
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:45 PM UTC
stars disappear one by one
blinking out with the flip of a switch
hint of pale blue on the horizon
then
an explosion of golden light
ripples across the earth’s surface
shoots across grass blades, rooftops, pavement
a glowing orb ascends
slowly
shaping shadows
moving mountains
creating life
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:44 PM UTC
guidance in the form of clasped hands
only goes to the stop sign
past that you’re on your own
sooner or later you gotta let go
cross the street by yourself
one foot after the other
find my own way.
armed with the knowledge passed down year after year
words of wisdom
but what if i make a wrong turn?
what if i have to back track?
how long will it take till I am finally ready to live on my own
what will failing feel like?
what’s the worst that could happen?
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:44 PM UTC
Once upon a time there was a girl
who didn’t know what she wanted
(I don’t think any of us do)
you have to convince me
you are what I want
need
will die without
because if you can’t
I’ll just wait
wait to get swept off my feet
by somebody else
Little girls grow up believing
that magic is real
but it’s all just smoke and mirrors
we know Santa isn’t real
neither is the Easter Bunny
or the Toothfairy
but Prince Charming...
Prince Charming is real
somewhere deep down
I believe
my “soulmate” is out there
searching for me
as hopeful as I am searching for him
Is it a curse
haunting
creating false words
and false scenarios
that will never come true?
Hollywood says otherwise
if my life were a movie
you’d call me beautiful
write me songs
never let go
doubt overwhelming
but not giving up
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:43 PM UTC
Pale bare skin
hasn’t seen the sun since some time last August.
Dark roots growing out
since lack of bleaching summer rays.
Dinners of Turkey and slices of pie
pile fat onto my body.
Insecurites
Talk to guys, but haven’t been able to make one stay
since the last one left in August.
Coldness has seeped into my skin
filling my veins with icy bitterness
Oh sun, fill me with warmth
shine, sizzle, burn confidence into my being.
Conceal
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:41 PM UTC
first words
she heard me
first steps
she was right beside me
first day of school
she was in the class next door
we’re two halves in a whole
we’re twins
sharing practically everything
from clothes to crooked smiles
big feet to best friends
some might say we’re the same
and they couldn’t be further from the truth
our shared genes
could never cross the gap
between friends and strangers
stuck in the middle
speaking to her in the morning
is like walking through a minefield
dangerous and unpredictable
never knowing if she’s in a bad mood
or worse
usually moody
rarely happy
always dramatic
at least
she is around me
i wake her up
she takes a shower
straightens her hair
puts on liquid black eyeliner
to show off green eyes
the same color as mine
she stands tall
always over
me
suffocating
casting a shadow
with broad shoulders
she can’t find the energy
to give me a compliment
ever
however she
continues to
point out my flaws
at six in the morning
i’m tired
i can count on one hand
the number of times she really hugged me
the number of times she really felt my pain
when Ton died
when Grandpa passed
when Dad screamed i was a failure
that’s it
i wish you would try to understand
through the
hair disasters
bike rides
movie nights
recitals
adventures
walks
runs
deaths
crashes
tears
laughs
screams
you were there
yet when i feel alone
when i need you
you’re gone
talking to some guy on the phone
you ignore me
you don’t know
you don’t understand
and i have to rely on someone
who doesn’t know me like you do
because
******
my sister isn’t here
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:40 PM UTC
empty
pouring my heart out-
word by fragile word
floods out my pen
onto lined notebook paper
like an ocean wave hitting the shore
a love letter…
shot down
brushed off like it was nothing
no confession
no real emotion
just a silly note
from a silly girl
feeling anonymous
feeling alone
no, I cannot be friends
“just friends”
after this
not possible
my heart beats too fast when I see your face
my mind imagines future days with you
smiling and talking and loving me….
not possible
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:38 PM UTC
I walk down the path of my life, one foot after the other
purpose inspires me to be the person I want to be
stress tempts me to turn back
Newfound resolution:
don’t take life so seriously
find joy in little things
relaxation and friends
writing and learning
music
My path is laid out before me, but I must choose
a way that will enable me to travel the world
and influence me to be a better person
a better friend
because being mean
doesn’t make people like you
No one’s perfect
a blessing
different is beautiful
Dedication should never be over-looked
it’s what keeps life on its track
see how far hard work can take me
Try to understand
Try to care
Try to be fair
I promise.
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012 at 5:35 PM UTC