leah-4 - Hello Poetry

Quiet hums Empty aches Everything, doomed to break Phone's not ringing Closed the door It's all ending Keep keeping score Collarbones and broken hearts Dizzy streets too long to walk Leave a message, delete my name No matter what it feels the same I'll miss you

0

Nov 12, 2014

Nov 12, 2014 at 12:45 PM UTC

Untitled

Quiet hums Empty aches Everything, doomed to break Phone's not ringing Closed the door It's all ending Keep keeping score Collarbones and broken hearts Dizzy streets too long to walk Leave a message, delete my name No matter what it feels the same I'll miss you

12

Light it up and burn it away You are my cigarette on this nice winter day I'll smoke you til the very end, til you are burning my finger tips, til my eyes fill with smoke I can't breathe Don't do that You remind me of everything bad in this beautiful world You suffocated me Is it because I told you about his hands around my neck That you felt the need crush me further and steal the spirit I had left Don't touch me Somewhere within this tidal wave I trapped myself in You stopped saying I didn't deserve it You started saying it was my fault and in attempt to not be left speechless I agreed You dripped blame on me while dangling my hope on your poisoned thread The disappointments left me cold Don't pretend I would never, could never be good enough I cut myself wide open and you left me here alone Don't I don’t want to say betrayal And I don’t want to say let down But don’t promise me you’ll be there When you’re there to help me drown

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Jul 7, 2013

Jul 7, 2013 at 2:32 AM UTC

Don't

Light it up and burn it away You are my cigarette on this nice winter day I'll smoke you til the very end, til you are burning my finger tips, til my eyes fill with smoke I can't breathe Don't do that You remind me of everything bad in this beautiful world You suffocated me Is it because I told you about his hands around my neck That you felt the need crush me further and steal the spirit I had left Don't touch me Somewhere within this tidal wave I trapped myself in You stopped saying I didn't deserve it You started saying it was my fault and in attempt to not be left speechless I agreed You dripped blame on me while dangling my hope on your poisoned thread The disappointments left me cold Don't pretend I would never, could never be good enough I cut myself wide open and you left me here alone Don't I don’t want to say betrayal And I don’t want to say let down But don’t promise me you’ll be there When you’re there to help me drown

23

To leave this world As a choice No different than choosing a breakfast cereal Would mean To leave my mother always questioning what it was she did wrong To leave my little brother Breaking the promise that I would always be there for him To leave my older brother To leave my best friend To leave the kid down the hallway That I barely knew Thinking that maybe it’s an option for him For what? I'll have some cereal instead

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Jul 7, 2013

Jul 7, 2013 at 12:25 AM UTC

Each Morning

To leave this world As a choice No different than choosing a breakfast cereal Would mean To leave my mother always questioning what it was she did wrong To leave my little brother Breaking the promise that I would always be there for him To leave my older brother To leave my best friend To leave the kid down the hallway That I barely knew Thinking that maybe it’s an option for him For what? I'll have some cereal instead

14

I fell to pieces And was never quite whole I couldn’t clean up the mess And it took its toll This however, caused no surprise Nor that it was him who broke me The boy with the beautiful eyes What took me off guard What threw me off a cliff Is that you were the one supposed help me through this And now you’re with him And I really am alone I’m happy you’re happy Maybe I should have known And I don’t want to say betrayal And I don’t want to say let down Just don’t promise me you’ll be there When you’re there to help me drown

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Apr 23, 2013

Apr 23, 2013 at 8:03 PM UTC

He mattered more than saving me

I fell to pieces And was never quite whole I couldn’t clean up the mess And it took its toll This however, caused no surprise Nor that it was him who broke me The boy with the beautiful eyes What took me off guard What threw me off a cliff Is that you were the one supposed help me through this And now you’re with him And I really am alone I’m happy you’re happy Maybe I should have known And I don’t want to say betrayal And I don’t want to say let down Just don’t promise me you’ll be there When you’re there to help me drown

19

You knew enough that I thought I was giving you fair warning But before you made me fall for you I should have made it known- I don’t take this lightly I’m the kind of girl that will write a boy’s name Over and over in my notebook Over and over down my arm Over and over on my heart As it runs constantly through my mind I know you don’t want to hear it Just listen- you need to know How everything means more to me You can’t treat it as a joke I’ll make it into a fairytale How you came to my rescue, a knight in shining armor, a dashing prince Saving me with kind words and breaking down my walls But that’s what happened, isn’t it? I’ll love you I’ll fall in love with you if you’re not careful Then you will regret it And I’ll still be the victim I’m sad and broken and everyone knows You’ll just be the next boy that couldn’t fix me You’ll try until it’s drained you I’ll still love every inch And it won’t be good for either of us Too toxic to admit Too late

0

Apr 23, 2013

Apr 23, 2013 at 3:37 AM UTC

Untitled

You knew enough that I thought I was giving you fair warning But before you made me fall for you I should have made it known- I don’t take this lightly I’m the kind of girl that will write a boy’s name Over and over in my notebook Over and over down my arm Over and over on my heart As it runs constantly through my mind I know you don’t want to hear it Just listen- you need to know How everything means more to me You can’t treat it as a joke I’ll make it into a fairytale How you came to my rescue, a knight in shining armor, a dashing prince Saving me with kind words and breaking down my walls But that’s what happened, isn’t it? I’ll love you I’ll fall in love with you if you’re not careful Then you will regret it And I’ll still be the victim I’m sad and broken and everyone knows You’ll just be the next boy that couldn’t fix me You’ll try until it’s drained you I’ll still love every inch And it won’t be good for either of us Too toxic to admit Too late

28

To this day, flowers still make me feel uncomfortable The sight of the split-level house with flowers overflowing in the entryway never went away The only way to get into the house was to pass by those flowers Then you could go upstairs or downstairs But no matter what they followed you I can’t remember my immediate reaction I can’t remember a lot of things I remember staring out the window Sitting on the edge of the couch Not speaking I didn’t want to say a word There were so many people Too many people with too good of intentions I didn’t want them there When they weren’t touching my arm Or sitting next to me telling me “it’s okay” I heard their whispers About how I didn’t cry And I wouldn’t speak It’s been 10 years I remember my older brother Locking himself in his room Crying And crying My baby brother that didn’t understand With all the people he was in the mood for a party There was food and friends and family He was smarter than all of us My mom Couldn’t get herself together I had never seen her like that And I’d never see her whole again That thanksgiving I wasn’t thankful for much I was thankful the funeral was finally over Whether it was him in the coffin or not And so we moved And moved on And started over But it doesn’t really work like that Maybe irony isn’t the word But I find it ironic for her funeral to be On the same day as his Just a decade later And I don’t want to go I don’t want to watch Anyone else I love Be buried in the ground I don’t want to sit in front of all the food people made That no one wants to eat I don’t want to see the flowers Like the ones in my old house Because I remember watching the flowers die Like everything else

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Apr 19, 2013

Apr 19, 2013 at 6:25 PM UTC

That day

To this day, flowers still make me feel uncomfortable The sight of the split-level house with flowers overflowing in the entryway never went away The only way to get into the house was to pass by those flowers Then you could go upstairs or downstairs But no matter what they followed you I can’t remember my immediate reaction I can’t remember a lot of things I remember staring out the window Sitting on the edge of the couch Not speaking I didn’t want to say a word There were so many people Too many people with too good of intentions I didn’t want them there When they weren’t touching my arm Or sitting next to me telling me “it’s okay” I heard their whispers About how I didn’t cry And I wouldn’t speak It’s been 10 years I remember my older brother Locking himself in his room Crying And crying My baby brother that didn’t understand With all the people he was in the mood for a party There was food and friends and family He was smarter than all of us My mom Couldn’t get herself together I had never seen her like that And I’d never see her whole again That thanksgiving I wasn’t thankful for much I was thankful the funeral was finally over Whether it was him in the coffin or not And so we moved And moved on And started over But it doesn’t really work like that Maybe irony isn’t the word But I find it ironic for her funeral to be On the same day as his Just a decade later And I don’t want to go I don’t want to watch Anyone else I love Be buried in the ground I don’t want to sit in front of all the food people made That no one wants to eat I don’t want to see the flowers Like the ones in my old house Because I remember watching the flowers die Like everything else

57

I’m not normally inclined to speak about the months But I have ripped my calendar off the wall and it lies in shreds on the floor Why is it that when the leaves fall my life seems to fall apart? Yet when the flowers bloom my life does not improve I’ll say goodnight to ten years ago Because nothing matters that is not now And I can say no when it tries to haunt me I will run and I will hide Memories will never catch me here Sometimes the best days take you by surprise Like when you realize you like the soundless fury of loneliness And everything feels safe for once Not like in October When the calendar falls apart Over and over. Love me, love me, love me, love me I said, Until I was certain, he could never love me. Why is it that when the leaves fall my life seems to fall apart? Yet when the flowers bloom my life does not improve I have ripped my calendar off the wall and it lies in shreds on the floor But neither flowers nor small-scale destruction could ever make him love me.

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Apr 19, 2013

Apr 19, 2013 at 2:23 PM UTC

Months

I’m not normally inclined to speak about the months But I have ripped my calendar off the wall and it lies in shreds on the floor Why is it that when the leaves fall my life seems to fall apart? Yet when the flowers bloom my life does not improve I’ll say goodnight to ten years ago Because nothing matters that is not now And I can say no when it tries to haunt me I will run and I will hide Memories will never catch me here Sometimes the best days take you by surprise Like when you realize you like the soundless fury of loneliness And everything feels safe for once Not like in October When the calendar falls apart Over and over. Love me, love me, love me, love me I said, Until I was certain, he could never love me. Why is it that when the leaves fall my life seems to fall apart? Yet when the flowers bloom my life does not improve I have ripped my calendar off the wall and it lies in shreds on the floor But neither flowers nor small-scale destruction could ever make him love me.

21

Locked up and hidden No one would ever know Secret and forbidden She can’t wait to go Shredded, on the floor She won’t open the door Apologies don’t get through Regret can’t fix a thing Shock and confusion Swirl together in her mind Betrayed by her thoughts She tries to make it through the night They say tomorrow will be better But she knows it’s a lie Tomorrow’s never better When you can’t leave the past behind

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Apr 19, 2013

Apr 19, 2013 at 3:23 AM UTC

Tomorrow

Locked up and hidden No one would ever know Secret and forbidden She can’t wait to go Shredded, on the floor She won’t open the door Apologies don’t get through Regret can’t fix a thing Shock and confusion Swirl together in her mind Betrayed by her thoughts She tries to make it through the night They say tomorrow will be better But she knows it’s a lie Tomorrow’s never better When you can’t leave the past behind

16

So maybe I’m the problem and the world's just what I blame. Maybe from the start I hoped for too much and believed in too much and loved too much. It might be time to stop hoping and believing and loving. Really though. Is that what I’ve been doing wrong?

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Apr 19, 2013

Apr 19, 2013 at 2:01 AM UTC

No

So maybe I’m the problem and the world's just what I blame. Maybe from the start I hoped for too much and believed in too much and loved too much. It might be time to stop hoping and believing and loving. Really though. Is that what I’ve been doing wrong?

2

Silence If I Stopped listening To the soundless furies I let define my life, I would Be free Days Sometimes The best days are When you wake up alone And think today is lost but you Still try Numb It’s when All the leaves fall, You watch without seeing, Seeing the beauty nor sadness Of change Memories Can you Stop forgetting? Memories I will keep, My heart overflows with them but Not you. Maps I like Glancing at things Like the world and thinking, It’s small enough for me to hold And have Words Sorry For telling you My important secrets When you will not tell me more than Two words.

0

Apr 19, 2013

Apr 19, 2013 at 1:18 AM UTC

Cinquains

Silence If I Stopped listening To the soundless furies I let define my life, I would Be free Days Sometimes The best days are When you wake up alone And think today is lost but you Still try Numb It’s when All the leaves fall, You watch without seeing, Seeing the beauty nor sadness Of change Memories Can you Stop forgetting? Memories I will keep, My heart overflows with them but Not you. Maps I like Glancing at things Like the world and thinking, It’s small enough for me to hold And have Words Sorry For telling you My important secrets When you will not tell me more than Two words.

36