le-lotus - Hello Poetry

How did they lived up till 50? 55? 60? Getting to 22 isn’t easy Life is too tiring Am living cause am yet dying Are they the same as me? I think no one would understand me That it’s a mental thing and can’t be seen But really, can’t you see how despair and broken I am being? My heart feels so dense and heavy It took so much to get to 22 Yet this 22 felt the hardest so far It won’t get better right? There’s still more to come and much to break As long as I’m still breathing.

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Jun 21, 2020

Jun 21, 2020 at 9:39 AM UTC

How did they lived?

How did they lived up till 50? 55? 60? Getting to 22 isn’t easy Life is too tiring Am living cause am yet dying Are they the same as me? I think no one would understand me That it’s a mental thing and can’t be seen But really, can’t you see how despair and broken I am being? My heart feels so dense and heavy It took so much to get to 22 Yet this 22 felt the hardest so far It won’t get better right? There’s still more to come and much to break As long as I’m still breathing.

16

Sometimes, Not so often, Yet suddenly as I stare into the ceiling, Or onto my phone screen, Reading contents or simply thinking, I started having thoughts that is so far fetched, A sudden but a bothersome ones “Maybe I am toxic” “I should be with no one as I bring despair to others” “I’m not good enough” Sometimes, so often, These thoughts came creeping in When I think of ones that I love Especially the one that I want.

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May 3, 2020

May 3, 2020 at 7:37 PM UTC

I’m talking about me?

Sometimes, Not so often, Yet suddenly as I stare into the ceiling, Or onto my phone screen, Reading contents or simply thinking, I started having thoughts that is so far fetched, A sudden but a bothersome ones “Maybe I am toxic” “I should be with no one as I bring despair to others” “I’m not good enough” Sometimes, so often, These thoughts came creeping in When I think of ones that I love Especially the one that I want.

13

I’m at a point where I feel bad for ending the act of being nice. But to tired to pick up the mask and put it on. It’s not like I’m changing from an angel to a villain. But a fool to a thinker. Just had enough of people taking advantage on me, Had enough of people thinking low of me, Had enough of everything actually, But to the extend of thinking of death, that scared me. I am scared, really.

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Sep 22, 2019

Sep 22, 2019 at 12:10 PM UTC

Ending act.

I’m at a point where I feel bad for ending the act of being nice. But to tired to pick up the mask and put it on. It’s not like I’m changing from an angel to a villain. But a fool to a thinker. Just had enough of people taking advantage on me, Had enough of people thinking low of me, Had enough of everything actually, But to the extend of thinking of death, that scared me. I am scared, really.

9

Some people say that poem is Only for the sad and depressed souls But hey, look at me ! Read the following verses and you'll know. There are varies of arts in writing, Its a way of me expressing my feelings, The deep part of me that coudnt be seen, But in poems I lay them in ordered scenes. Few times when I feel like crying and can no more bear things, I lay my feelings in a piece of sheet and went to sleep. But! That day when the sky is clear I also picked up my pen and let it dance, Just by listening to the birds singing I'd do the same. Am not trying to play poet but to convey a message, Writing poems doesnt mean that I am depressed, Its a medium for feelings to be expressed, A comfort zone for the creative people like us.

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Mar 30, 2019

Mar 30, 2019 at 4:22 AM UTC

POEM

Some people say that poem is Only for the sad and depressed souls But hey, look at me ! Read the following verses and you'll know. There are varies of arts in writing, Its a way of me expressing my feelings, The deep part of me that coudnt be seen, But in poems I lay them in ordered scenes. Few times when I feel like crying and can no more bear things, I lay my feelings in a piece of sheet and went to sleep. But! That day when the sky is clear I also picked up my pen and let it dance, Just by listening to the birds singing I'd do the same. Am not trying to play poet but to convey a message, Writing poems doesnt mean that I am depressed, Its a medium for feelings to be expressed, A comfort zone for the creative people like us.

16

It's a funeral-like dining room. No one is talking, Bite, gulp, bite, gulp Only my eyes looking, A 15 years old's bore eyes into me, I'm sitting across her finding means, Raised my brows, put down my spoonful curry, Tilted her shoulders then look down, eat, eat This room is gloomy, It's so quite even mice sound noisy. My eyes were glancing around, but no one is looking Beside that little girl who was just trying to tease. Clink, clank, O my dancing utensils Cleaned, all down Leaving this dining gloom now is me.

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Mar 30, 2019

Mar 30, 2019 at 4:21 AM UTC

Family Dinner

It's a funeral-like dining room. No one is talking, Bite, gulp, bite, gulp Only my eyes looking, A 15 years old's bore eyes into me, I'm sitting across her finding means, Raised my brows, put down my spoonful curry, Tilted her shoulders then look down, eat, eat This room is gloomy, It's so quite even mice sound noisy. My eyes were glancing around, but no one is looking Beside that little girl who was just trying to tease. Clink, clank, O my dancing utensils Cleaned, all down Leaving this dining gloom now is me.

16

My eyes are tired, it's about half passed 1 where the moon shines, Burdened, I got to get up early tomorrow, Music now on play, set off after 2 hours, Rest my back, close my eyes Can't seem to loss myself, eyes closed yet am awake, i hate this. I draw images, create scenes, trying to make my own dreams, Trying to see pictures in my closed eyes. Music is off. **** I'm still awake, It must have passed 3 now, ... Alarm went off, it's 8 Oh! I slept, I'm still tired. First thought this morning? It happened again. I wish the cycle stops. I'm tired.

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Feb 13, 2019

Feb 13, 2019 at 10:15 PM UTC

Nights of Mine

My eyes are tired, it's about half passed 1 where the moon shines, Burdened, I got to get up early tomorrow, Music now on play, set off after 2 hours, Rest my back, close my eyes Can't seem to loss myself, eyes closed yet am awake, i hate this. I draw images, create scenes, trying to make my own dreams, Trying to see pictures in my closed eyes. Music is off. **** I'm still awake, It must have passed 3 now, ... Alarm went off, it's 8 Oh! I slept, I'm still tired. First thought this morning? It happened again. I wish the cycle stops. I'm tired.

16

Is it depression ? When you feel like you have no purpose in life, And everything you do Basically just to go with the flow, But it only drives you mad and tired Because things aint flowing smooth, They walks on rough patches and thorny roads. Is it depression ? When you smile on the outside But seconds later some sort of gloomy-ness spread all over your mind and soul, With no reasons nor justification why, You just feel empty inside. And alone. If it is depression, What should I do? I heard that it's dangerous That it eats your soul, happiness and enthusiasm in life. What should I do, really? This is frustrating, I want to be happy too.

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Jul 11, 2018

Jul 11, 2018 at 9:31 AM UTC

Is A Question. Or maybe more.

Is it depression ? When you feel like you have no purpose in life, And everything you do Basically just to go with the flow, But it only drives you mad and tired Because things aint flowing smooth, They walks on rough patches and thorny roads. Is it depression ? When you smile on the outside But seconds later some sort of gloomy-ness spread all over your mind and soul, With no reasons nor justification why, You just feel empty inside. And alone. If it is depression, What should I do? I heard that it's dangerous That it eats your soul, happiness and enthusiasm in life. What should I do, really? This is frustrating, I want to be happy too.

21

I hate my oldest brother, He's nothing but a poison in my life. My dad got the coldest shoulder ever, He was never really on my side. My step mother got the tightest sour face in the world, 5 years went by yet she still is a bad decision to me. They say cut off toxic people out of your life, But how do I cut mine ? The toxics mostly my flesh and blood.

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Feb 11, 2018

Feb 11, 2018 at 6:48 PM UTC

My Family

I hate my oldest brother, He's nothing but a poison in my life. My dad got the coldest shoulder ever, He was never really on my side. My step mother got the tightest sour face in the world, 5 years went by yet she still is a bad decision to me. They say cut off toxic people out of your life, But how do I cut mine ? The toxics mostly my flesh and blood.

9

My hate is on them Cuz they're hella rich Oh lord oh Imma ************* Ungrateful *****

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Jan 21, 2018

Jan 21, 2018 at 9:04 AM UTC

Ungrateful

My hate is on them Cuz they're hella rich Oh lord oh Imma ************* Ungrateful *****

5

White flower turned black Red lips gone pale It was tough all this while Things will get better soon well no guarantee for that I am tired, sad and mad Not because it was too hard But can let go not a sigh Because I know I'm not the only one That struggle such tough fight.

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Jan 17, 2018

Jan 17, 2018 at 7:19 AM UTC

I KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE

White flower turned black Red lips gone pale It was tough all this while Things will get better soon well no guarantee for that I am tired, sad and mad Not because it was too hard But can let go not a sigh Because I know I'm not the only one That struggle such tough fight.

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