more than anything
i’d sit in the greenery
while it wraps up to my knees
and you’ll speak in unfinished messages
and we’ll all glisten with a shining aura
and a mask of invincibility.
the epic drag of nights past will diminish
and bleed out of our pores
as we gaze towards the sun
and
burn white holes into the picture we perceive.
there wont be any eerie waves of emptiness
because the grass will grow into our bones
and flow in our veins
while we feel the soothing abrasions from the
scalding black top beneath our feet.
it’ll warm our souls for eternity
and we’ll feel every heavy word
enter our minds
in different shades of color.
we can find contentment in ourselves
as we scream for an eternal happiness
that fills our lungs with every struggle for air.
surviving will become more real
and will heal our aching bones
and pluck the embedded thorns of regret
from our numb eyes.
we’ll feel whole.
we’ll feel whole.
we’ll feel content.
we’ll feel whole.
we’ll feel real.
the sun will radiate
an incoherent essence
that blesses our eyelids.
we’ll bury the bullets that we kept
on our nightstands
for a rainy day.
i’ll feed the flesh of my sorrows
to the once rabid creatures who lay
in the river banks.
they’ll engulf it like
it once did to me and i’ll
throw my mistakes downstream.
Feb 6, 2012
Feb 6, 2012 at 1:27 AM UTC
in a hot town house
on the east side
we built a fort upstairs
in the middle of summer
and watched movies
and drank Canada House with tea.
it was lovely,
the essence spilling out
in waves
as the sound of the birds chirping
echoed through the window
and we dressed elegantly
and cooked a fancy meal.
family dinners.
*** and orange juice
while we cooked.
and smooth jazz while we ate.
i haven't felt that alive
in quite some time.
Dec 15, 2011
Dec 15, 2011 at 5:54 PM UTC
i got a job
i have no car
i’ve got chaos
and on the verge
of being an alcoholic
here i am
nostalgic.
half alive
never asleep,
you either.
on the bathroom counter
on the floor
with words crashing to the ground
the nostalgia.
no more birds in the morning
no more rain
and the chaos
it’s so beautiful
like the most traumatic sunset
where the sun sinks low
over the water
and you’re free
the song on repeat
i wonder how i’m
even alive.
why
i still choose to
wake up by your side.
like an undercover darkness
raging against the mass
of reality
bringing me to a medium.
everyone knows
everything goes.
so infinite
in the haze of
the sun
like children
with guns.
at any minute
left to bleed out
for the next flesh
to cleanse.
no more waves to
wash
away the insanity.
when you’re gone
i-
when are you leaving
my god
go before the snow.
the foliage
is like an open wound
ripping wire
through my throat
i need to go.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 6:46 PM UTC
i stay up hours after you
so i don’t have to listen to you breathe
very long
after i lay down
i’m frustrated
with you
and the way you move your mouth
and
your skin, your crawling flesh
one-track mountain-fucking mind
i stay up late and listen
listen to the coyotes howl in the distance
and i realize i love it here
and i realize i hate it here
you stained my room
with your scent of ***** clothes
and you’ll be leaving soon
and all I’ll have left is
the smell if filthy socks
and you don’t care anymore.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 6:43 PM UTC
Can you see it?
The cold in your breath
the quickness of your steps.
I don't feel the animals sound
in my ears
anymore.
But only the eyes in the trees of fear.
Don't you want it so bad?
The sound and the flow
of the world breathing.
Another body's dead
from the fathomed snow
"So isn't time fast?" I ask
to the howling wind at my window
Did you feel then,
how you do now?
Is this nonsense making you proud?
The clouds of agony engulf the sky
the colors die of thirst
and the cats don't come home from time to time,
all the people I know are committing a crime,
and our pockets can barely hold a dime.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 6:41 PM UTC
There's nothing there
for a person to love.
A cold hope
that only seems accepting
and possible
with the dream weavers
giving courage to the day.
As you inhale
and surely know
you're burning your body
and there's got to be
a reason
or two...
A lonely blank page
Awaiting love and attention
no idea what's to come of it
and ****
those pages
are
just
like
us.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 6:28 PM UTC
Life was playing swiftly
like a car wreck.
And people
were muttering softly
about all those hot,
sweaty,
smelly,
***** summer nights
drowning in beer and
unruly speak.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 6:22 PM UTC
There were always lights
and people.
Familiar strangers,
but nothing more
and the drinks always overflowing
gripped tightly
in each's troubled hands
Each dialogue I feel
is a waste to write.
But for a few hours
you're able to feel
infinite,
and interested,
while it's still in your system.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 6:18 PM UTC
like that feeling when the seasons change
or when you can remember how the places felt
around you
at that particular point in life
almost tasting the air.
and it hangs
it hangs so heavily in your stomach
suspended there
with no release.
it used to be such an eccentric feeling
and i wonder
if i’ll ever have that same feeling
walking through empty houses
down busy streets
in the car
or with someone else.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 6:10 PM UTC
No direction
no cigarettes
no money
nowhere to go,
stranded.
No sleep
I watch the people walk by
I watch the cars
and the rain
People go home to their families
people go home
and want to die.
Nostalgia.
Sunlight pours through the haze
for a moment
and sinks
away
I think of you
often
maybe too often
You’re ******
just like me
all me do is drown,
drown,
drown.
Lust drunk *****
waiting,
waiting to destroy
unintentionally destroy others
then theirselves
and weep
for the past.
There’s strangers everywhere
watching
questioning my motives…
a man at the table next to me give me the eyes
All I want
is a cigarette
one **** smoke.
Ah, God, I lost the notion
strangling,
tangling,
growing roots to my sick,
sad,
soul
The people I witness
coming into shopping malls
are like rabid animals
Wild eyed and gazing
targeting their next material purchase
to try to fit into society
killing off humanity with selfishness,
selflessness
Scared children,
holding their mothers hand
growing up to be fools
to fit into this place
With eyes like knives,
awaiting your presence
to rip your insides out onto the pavement
and ******* eat you alive.
In the car
watching
the leaves thrash the pavement
the breeze is hollow and unforgiving
I think, and I don’t want to be here
when the cold front blows in
and releases it’s chaos.
I’m so ******
half dead,
like the light in your eyes.
This is how people become homeless
This is how people make it big.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 5:38 PM UTC