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lauren-spooner
Canadian I am a writer and graphic designer living in Greater Vancouver, BC.
You are not the ocean Even if you feel as though You are rising like the tide Being turned away from The shoreline and always Coming back again and again You are not the wind But You can still make goosebumps Appear on skin Or be the breath of Fresh air someone needs You are not a force of nature You are so much stronger than that So much bigger even if you Still wish you were a hurricane Something bigger than You see yourself.
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Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 2:31 AM UTC
Force of Nature
Someday we’ll be young again Not quite innocent But naïve enough to be happy With enough time to sit still And think about How small we are Compared to the stars And how we too could Light up the sky If only we weren’t Afraid To burn
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Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 2:27 AM UTC
Young Again
I don’t know if I believe that We are all made of stardust or Swirling galaxies of energy I know that my skin isn’t As thick as I’d like it to be And the freckles on my body Don’t make constellations Unless you know how to Connect the dots I know that mountains and snow Will always feel like home No matter where I am And I know that home isn’t always in the same Place twice Sometimes you feel home In waves, that make your heart Feel lighter and heavier At the same time Sometimes it’s a moment in time That you could spend your life Trying to define Home is a dream, a photograph, a stretch of highway, An acre of forest that you’ve Never thought to explore It’s somewhere you know well And sometimes somewhere You’ve never been before.
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Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 2:26 AM UTC
Home
The earth you stand on is older than you can fathom. It is millions of years of ash, bone, and rebirth Layer upon layer of ages gone by Time you will never experience first hand You hold uncountable births and deaths In your cupped palms as you fill them with earth You cannot know how many lives were lived In that palmful of dark sand Your toes time travel as they sink into the sand You bring back eons under your fingernails As you dig further back Trying to feel what the world was like when the world was still new And time had yet to exist.
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Oct 7, 2015
Oct 7, 2015 at 2:25 AM UTC
Time Before
There is a nest of birds inside my body Trying to peck and claw their way out. I can feel their wings beating Bruises onto my insides Their ever flapping wings Stir my stomach into knots That I can’t hope to untie. Every time I try to speak My mouth fills with feathers And I have to swallow hard Again and again To keep from choking on them. They’ve pecked holes in my mind These restless creatures inside me So that I can’t understand anything The way I used to. I know they are trying to escape That they are trapped inside me They mean me no harm, really, still, most days I feel More like the caged bird than the cage itself.
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Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 12:08 AM UTC
Of Birds & Cages
The Machine parts in me have rusted I am all creaking metal fatigue And slowly splintering glass I am not indestructible I am not build to withstand The storms I have weathered But I have survived them Maybe a little less intact Than I was before And each one wears down Each part of me a little more There are no spare parts here And when one wears out You have to learn To live without it Until you are nothing but Jangling bits inside a Worn down shell A barely functioning Version of what you Once were But then again you have More storms to weather Than you could know After all, They don’t make them Like you anymore.
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Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 12:07 AM UTC
Classic
This February sky is mad and beautiful and I want to hold its stars in my mouth. I want to cough them up into new constellations, spit out the blackness That gets caught in the back of my throat. Feel the cold of the moon under my tongue While the galaxies swirl in my stomach twisting my insides into new knots While I know that inside me There is the potential to create New worlds, new stars I breathe in the light studded darkness Close my eyes and see the night sky That has made it’s home within me. I may not be a constellation, But I could be.
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Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 11:26 PM UTC
I may not be a constellation...
1. Sometimes the weight of your own mistakes will be too much.      You’ll bend further than you thought you could         And sometimes,            You will break. 2. Sometimes it’s the sting of someone else’s mistakes           That hits you like a punch to the face               And you’ll sit, trying to soothe your wounds                    Wondering what you did wrong. 3. No one ever tells you there will be times           You feel guilty for being happy                                                  Don’t. 4. A knife to the heart will usually hurt more            Than a knife to the back.                  But, sometimes, if the aim is right                                  They’re the same thing.
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Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 11:25 PM UTC
Remember This
My dear, my dear, my dear, Say you are not afraid; Say it so loud That the doves in your body Stop fluttering their wings, So that you feel still For one moment. Sigh like a pack of wolves; Dangerous in the right situations But mostly more afraid of them Than they are of you. You worry that everyone Reads what you are thinking By the way your Face colours itself Like a sunset, By the way the light fades Out of you, slowly. Close your eyes, Steady the thrumming In your chest You are not afraid You are not afraid You are not afraid Anymore
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Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 11:24 PM UTC
Not Afraid
In this electric moment of sanity I see everything as it is I see the reality of things With the beautiful haze stripped away And when I blink, it is still there I don’t know if the air I’m breathing Is the same air that surrounded me A moment ago, but it feels different I feel heavier, like every step Makes footprints in concrete If I close my eyes for long enough Sometimes it will go away This clarity, this unrelenting realism Maybe I’ll feel lighter again If I close my eyes tight and think of flying
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Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 1:21 AM UTC
Lighter Again