laurawarner99 - Hello Poetry

One more hit is all I need Then I promise I am done. For without it reality Really does weighs a tonne. Crushing my ribcage Which used to home roses But now is bruised From fists, He stands amused As he puts his Hands back around my neck Without even looking to check If marks are visible this time. He is long past caring My body no longer unsparing For he has destroyed each part Making me look like a childs colour chart. Maybe I am to blame For why he torments my fragile frame. One more hit to numb my pain Though these thoughts I can never tame In my new found biological remedy As I blackout I find my serenity Longing for a new identity For my body is an empty shell Storing secrets I will never tell For fears the words will only spill out. So I sew my lips together As my skin looks like worn leather. When I finally come back through My body is an array of black, purple and blue. I take my final hit Hoping finally this might be it As the world before me turns to grey. For now is my time As I leave the wind chimes Bringing me into a brand new day.

0

Mar 21, 2018

Mar 21, 2018 at 7:39 PM UTC

Addiction

One more hit is all I need Then I promise I am done. For without it reality Really does weighs a tonne. Crushing my ribcage Which used to home roses But now is bruised From fists, He stands amused As he puts his Hands back around my neck Without even looking to check If marks are visible this time. He is long past caring My body no longer unsparing For he has destroyed each part Making me look like a childs colour chart. Maybe I am to blame For why he torments my fragile frame. One more hit to numb my pain Though these thoughts I can never tame In my new found biological remedy As I blackout I find my serenity Longing for a new identity For my body is an empty shell Storing secrets I will never tell For fears the words will only spill out. So I sew my lips together As my skin looks like worn leather. When I finally come back through My body is an array of black, purple and blue. I take my final hit Hoping finally this might be it As the world before me turns to grey. For now is my time As I leave the wind chimes Bringing me into a brand new day.

36

It still stings when i think of your hand slamming against my cheek The first time you laid a finger upon me I was only young at the time, too naive to understand Little did i know, it wouldn't be the last time you harmed me. You see the alcohol and the drugs Were only temporary distractions Long enough to keep me numb so i couldn't Feel anything for a little while. But sadly, The more liquor i chugged back and the more Smoke i inhaled into my lungs, Praying that maybe this next hit would affect me, That no matter what pills i took or what drugs i smoked I could never get rid of the feeling of your piercing glare from that night As you undressed me with your eyes like i was some kind of meat While you sat waiting for your next meal which laid between my legs It still burns when I think of your hand wrapped tightly around my neck As i prayed you would finally end it all for me That maybe if i ****** you off enough now that you would go ahead and do it That maybe you would be framed for what you have always been doing See you killed me long ago Buried me 6 ft in the ground with any shred of dignity i still possessed When you found me at 15 alone and afraid you pried upon that Became my protector until i later realised it was you i should be fearing.

0

Feb 11, 2018

Feb 11, 2018 at 5:38 PM UTC

Him.

It still stings when i think of your hand slamming against my cheek The first time you laid a finger upon me I was only young at the time, too naive to understand Little did i know, it wouldn't be the last time you harmed me. You see the alcohol and the drugs Were only temporary distractions Long enough to keep me numb so i couldn't Feel anything for a little while. But sadly, The more liquor i chugged back and the more Smoke i inhaled into my lungs, Praying that maybe this next hit would affect me, That no matter what pills i took or what drugs i smoked I could never get rid of the feeling of your piercing glare from that night As you undressed me with your eyes like i was some kind of meat While you sat waiting for your next meal which laid between my legs It still burns when I think of your hand wrapped tightly around my neck As i prayed you would finally end it all for me That maybe if i ****** you off enough now that you would go ahead and do it That maybe you would be framed for what you have always been doing See you killed me long ago Buried me 6 ft in the ground with any shred of dignity i still possessed When you found me at 15 alone and afraid you pried upon that Became my protector until i later realised it was you i should be fearing.

24

One look was all it took For my heart to become yours One smile was all I needed To know I had found the one worth keeping Years may have past But how my love only grows daily I’m not sure how I can say this But you are the one I always needed The one I have always longed for You were the connecting dots of my broken heart The only one to really save me. You are the missing pieces Of the jumbled puzzle I call my life You are the light that guides me home When I’m feeling all alone For you are my Romeo My little dream My life

0

Jan 3, 2018

Jan 3, 2018 at 11:03 AM UTC

My Romeo

One look was all it took For my heart to become yours One smile was all I needed To know I had found the one worth keeping Years may have past But how my love only grows daily I’m not sure how I can say this But you are the one I always needed The one I have always longed for You were the connecting dots of my broken heart The only one to really save me. You are the missing pieces Of the jumbled puzzle I call my life You are the light that guides me home When I’m feeling all alone For you are my Romeo My little dream My life

18

You’re under my skin And I can’t seem to let you go Gripping tightly, controlling my every move You are always there Lurking in the back of my mind As if sitting on my shoulder Demanding to be listened to Why do I come back? Why do I come running back to the thing that causes me pain? The one who has always had control? I thought I could trust you Told you my deepest darkest secrets And what did you do? Spat your venom back into my face Every lie you told I believe You even had me thinking I was special Made me feel something for once Yet all I feel now is empty You are a parasite I never can get rid of Because there will always be Some part of you Left in me.

0

Dec 18, 2017

Dec 18, 2017 at 9:28 AM UTC

Parasite

You’re under my skin And I can’t seem to let you go Gripping tightly, controlling my every move You are always there Lurking in the back of my mind As if sitting on my shoulder Demanding to be listened to Why do I come back? Why do I come running back to the thing that causes me pain? The one who has always had control? I thought I could trust you Told you my deepest darkest secrets And what did you do? Spat your venom back into my face Every lie you told I believe You even had me thinking I was special Made me feel something for once Yet all I feel now is empty You are a parasite I never can get rid of Because there will always be Some part of you Left in me.

23

Have you ever wondered what the rest of the universe looks like? All of the galaxies, stars and planets. Do you think life really exists out there? If so are they thinking of us? These are some of my thoughts that drift through my head as I lay beneath the stars. They shine as though they are all competing for my individual attention. One stands out, piercing brighter than all the rest. I stare at it for a while contemplating if it is a sign or not before my train of thought shifts to be preoccupied by something else, or more someone else. He always manages to cross back into my mind, consuming my thoughts until I feel both numb and ecstatic at the same time. How can someone manage to control every sense in my body and destroy them simultaneously. I am like a doll which he was always determined to string along until the next time he got bored or another much prettier model came along. So I would get thrown to the side and forgotten until he got bored of the most recent one and returned to me. He always returned to me. After a few years I began to realise that he had a type. Slim girls with piercing blue eyes and the sickly bleach blonde hair which fell just past their shoulders. They all came and left again yet I was different. I never understood why he kept me. I contrasted dramatically from the usual girls he would swap me out for with my rich chocolate hair which fell to the middle of my back and dull and lifeless emerald eyes. From all the pain I have endured over the past 5 years it’s a wonder I’m still sane… Well i’m currently still questioning if I really am or not. Any sane person would have left the minute they were first discarded like junk but not me. I was always there waiting with open arms for when he returned. I snap out of my train of thought to the driveway becoming illuminated as he pulled in. He slammed on the brakes and threw the car door open, slamming it closed behind him before walking straight past me to the house. How can he be so cold? How can he walk straight past me without even a simple hello or even a glance. I can say i’m surprised now though. It’s the same routine every night. It always ends the same. He will act angry now and then at around 3 am he will crawl back into my bed, snuggle up to me with his head on my chest or wrapping his arms around me and like the fool I am, I will return to feeling complete because in that moment he loves me again. That is all I have ever wanted and if he has to be feeling lonely or drunk to feel anything for me then so be it. I would rather that over nothing at all. Morning begins to draw nearer as I slowly drift off to sleep. I was up all night tossing and turning, contemplating what I actually meant to him.

0

Dec 18, 2017

Dec 18, 2017 at 7:12 AM UTC

Puppet

Have you ever wondered what the rest of the universe looks like? All of the galaxies, stars and planets. Do you think life really exists out there? If so are they thinking of us? These are some of my thoughts that drift through my head as I lay beneath the stars. They shine as though they are all competing for my individual attention. One stands out, piercing brighter than all the rest. I stare at it for a while contemplating if it is a sign or not before my train of thought shifts to be preoccupied by something else, or more someone else. He always manages to cross back into my mind, consuming my thoughts until I feel both numb and ecstatic at the same time. How can someone manage to control every sense in my body and destroy them simultaneously. I am like a doll which he was always determined to string along until the next time he got bored or another much prettier model came along. So I would get thrown to the side and forgotten until he got bored of the most recent one and returned to me. He always returned to me. After a few years I began to realise that he had a type. Slim girls with piercing blue eyes and the sickly bleach blonde hair which fell just past their shoulders. They all came and left again yet I was different. I never understood why he kept me. I contrasted dramatically from the usual girls he would swap me out for with my rich chocolate hair which fell to the middle of my back and dull and lifeless emerald eyes. From all the pain I have endured over the past 5 years it’s a wonder I’m still sane… Well i’m currently still questioning if I really am or not. Any sane person would have left the minute they were first discarded like junk but not me. I was always there waiting with open arms for when he returned. I snap out of my train of thought to the driveway becoming illuminated as he pulled in. He slammed on the brakes and threw the car door open, slamming it closed behind him before walking straight past me to the house. How can he be so cold? How can he walk straight past me without even a simple hello or even a glance. I can say i’m surprised now though. It’s the same routine every night. It always ends the same. He will act angry now and then at around 3 am he will crawl back into my bed, snuggle up to me with his head on my chest or wrapping his arms around me and like the fool I am, I will return to feeling complete because in that moment he loves me again. That is all I have ever wanted and if he has to be feeling lonely or drunk to feel anything for me then so be it. I would rather that over nothing at all. Morning begins to draw nearer as I slowly drift off to sleep. I was up all night tossing and turning, contemplating what I actually meant to him.

3

It has been crossing my mind recently How little I can control Not the wind, or the sea Or the thoughts running within me Long drives with no real destination Always get me thinking Raindrops trickle down the window As the world flashes in a blur Nameless faces of people Never to be seen again No time for first impressions As the seconds dart past Headlights beam brighter than all the stars Till they are blinding through the silence I long to be home Yet where do you go when even home feels foreign So this is why I am driving through the night With no real destination Only longing to be ‘home’.

0

Dec 18, 2017

Dec 18, 2017 at 7:10 AM UTC

No destination

It has been crossing my mind recently How little I can control Not the wind, or the sea Or the thoughts running within me Long drives with no real destination Always get me thinking Raindrops trickle down the window As the world flashes in a blur Nameless faces of people Never to be seen again No time for first impressions As the seconds dart past Headlights beam brighter than all the stars Till they are blinding through the silence I long to be home Yet where do you go when even home feels foreign So this is why I am driving through the night With no real destination Only longing to be ‘home’.

19

I wouldn’t say that I’m in love with you More the idea of you The memories, the emotion The time spent together That has all changed now For you no longer look at me the same The love that used to gleam in your eyes is gone And all that is left is sour kisses Placed upon my cheek In the passing moments we have left together

0

Dec 18, 2017

Dec 18, 2017 at 7:08 AM UTC

Infatuation

I wouldn’t say that I’m in love with you More the idea of you The memories, the emotion The time spent together That has all changed now For you no longer look at me the same The love that used to gleam in your eyes is gone And all that is left is sour kisses Placed upon my cheek In the passing moments we have left together

10

Welcome to the island of misfit toys We are just like you Except we are a little more broken One sits chugging a bottle straight As the burning fuel trickles down their throat Moments before they black out from the world once again One sits scratching their arm Craving their next hit Of whatever drug is strong enough To numb the pain of reality for long enough to regain his breathe One girl takes her last breathe As the colour drains from her face Without anyone realising Cause they are all fighting their own demons A new one joins everyday Joins this hell we call home No one stays long enough to get to know them They are just background noise to the blurry haze Welcome to the island of misfit toys I hope you don’t end up here

0

Dec 18, 2017

Dec 18, 2017 at 7:07 AM UTC

Island of misfit toys

Welcome to the island of misfit toys We are just like you Except we are a little more broken One sits chugging a bottle straight As the burning fuel trickles down their throat Moments before they black out from the world once again One sits scratching their arm Craving their next hit Of whatever drug is strong enough To numb the pain of reality for long enough to regain his breathe One girl takes her last breathe As the colour drains from her face Without anyone realising Cause they are all fighting their own demons A new one joins everyday Joins this hell we call home No one stays long enough to get to know them They are just background noise to the blurry haze Welcome to the island of misfit toys I hope you don’t end up here

20

Hard liquor on my lips Still doesn't burn as much as you You may have left But your taste lingers on I drink to forget you Yet every time i’m back in the same place With your face plastered on my mind Contradicting comments And broken promises Are all that is left until Sapphire pools draw me back home Back to the comfort of two arms Open wide anticipating my return But not tonight Tonight I sit alone Letting the cold poison trickle down my throat Wondering what in the world went wrong.

0

Nov 18, 2017

Nov 18, 2017 at 6:10 PM UTC

I drink to forget you

Hard liquor on my lips Still doesn't burn as much as you You may have left But your taste lingers on I drink to forget you Yet every time i’m back in the same place With your face plastered on my mind Contradicting comments And broken promises Are all that is left until Sapphire pools draw me back home Back to the comfort of two arms Open wide anticipating my return But not tonight Tonight I sit alone Letting the cold poison trickle down my throat Wondering what in the world went wrong.

17

I wouldn’t say that I’m in love with you More the idea of you The memories, the emotion The time spent together That has all changed now For you no longer look at me the same The love that used to gleam in your eyes is gone And all that is left are sour kisses Placed upon my cheek In the passing moments we have left together If I could have a do over I would turn around and walk the other way I would save myself the pain and confusion Because no one has ever made me happier Or sadder Than you.

0

Nov 1, 2017

Nov 1, 2017 at 4:38 PM UTC

My past lover

I wouldn’t say that I’m in love with you More the idea of you The memories, the emotion The time spent together That has all changed now For you no longer look at me the same The love that used to gleam in your eyes is gone And all that is left are sour kisses Placed upon my cheek In the passing moments we have left together If I could have a do over I would turn around and walk the other way I would save myself the pain and confusion Because no one has ever made me happier Or sadder Than you.

16