Cold winter air
and freshly piled
snow,
so perfect
clean
pure
sickens me.
I fall into my bed
hiding
from the
careless
stinging
bite
of cold
When I want to try
Hot
tea and
honey I
sip
but
nothing warms me.
I am left
numb
must be
what it's
like
for
the dead
Blankets piled high
like dirt over
a cold
lonely
grave
but mine
yawns empty, waiting
for me to
give
up my
meaningless
life
for
meaningless death
But winter will
end, and until
then
I force
a
smile
and drag myself out
of bed and grave
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 15, 2014 at 9:46 PM UTC
When he asked her
What made her do it,
what pushed her
to such a dark place
The well of excuses
she had used a thousand
dried up from her lips
ground to a halt
“It was the only way to feel good,
an addiction I couldn't help
I needed to do something.”
But nothing she said could fix her mistakes
Under his loving eyes
she squirmed in her nightgown
thin fabric hiding the
scars of a not so distant past
“I don’t understand, why would you
hurt yourself so much?” His words hit her
and her guilt bubbled up
black anger and black words.
“It’s not a big deal.
It’s over. I’ll never do it again.
Keep out of my business.” And the
conversation closed.
But demons are not so easily slayed
and fears, the all consuming
darkness, not so easily
assuaged.
Three weeks he was gone,
not to be back till the sixth
and yet on the fifth late in the night he came
three white roses in hand
ruby red lines painted
her thighs, guilty tears
painted her forced smile
Bad timing or good?
She knew he would yell
He couldn’t understand, wouldn’t understand
blame he had yet to lay
hands clinched for rejection
But he pulled her close
suit soaking up the red
absorbing her pain
clinging to her desperately
“I don’t want to lose you.”
voice raw with love
“I don’t understand, so
help me too”
It was enough for her.
The wall she hand built with such bitter care
shattered, she shook
crying past temptations away
hours wanned, he treated
her wounds, wound up with her on
white sheets, tangled together,
holding her as she spoak
Baring her soul to her swain
she talked until her voice was raw
until the stars faded, and her
burden was lighter than she had thought possible
And after that night
two become closer, every jagged edge
known by the other. They lived for each other
breathed for another
Another time, she could pull herself out of bed
she could open her eyes
and wonder, with that elusive curiosity,
what the day would show her
And the darkness of that endless night
could not push through
the twining of their limbs
and the knotting of their souls
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 14, 2014 at 9:31 PM UTC
I wonder
If my picture
Sits close to your bed
And if
In the night
You seek out my face
I wonder
If when your
Out with your guys texts
From me
Annoy you with
Ties to another lesser life
I wonder
If at night
You can hear me crying
Your name
And waiting and
Wishing for you to care
I wonder
If while I
Wonder, you wonder right along
And if
We two are
Just wondering why we can't
Just wander
Back into each
Others arms and stop wondering.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 11:16 PM UTC
Waiting on your call
When I've asked
day after day
hour after hour
for you to call
for you to be there
And yet all I know is that you
and I
are miles away and all we can do is
text.
and
Snap
and
chat.
What point is there to talking
to feeling
to being
to loving
when no matter how far I reach my hand
you dash before me, my fingertips
brushing your skin.
But I can't lose
it.
loose you.
So I wait.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 10:40 PM UTC
There exists a place
you barely remember
where all the children go
A land of sweets,
imagination
sculpted landscape of words
And every child
spends hours there
thinking of things never thought before
But as we grow
inevitably
children forget the candy-powder path
And that wondrous land
is lost in the bittersweet
tide of time, pain
But some adults,
as they blunder though
find their way back to that land
They sink in the candy
cloud meadows, and giggle
at the sugar-spun dragonflies
But some children
as they grow
refuse to leave the peppermint forest
And others see them
thinking, “How strange,
the air around them is sweet.”
I wander there
floating on
lady fingers across coffee seas
And someday I know
you’ll wander back
stumble into the gumdrop farm
I’ll spy you with
my sugar-spy glass
and turn black-licorice sails to shore
And we’ll chase twizzler deer
and marzi-foxes, and
play like we used to
Until that day,
I’ll plan adventures in spearmint fields
until the day you
Remember Me.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 10:27 PM UTC
Watching the light
Filter through
The leaves
Makes me think
of all
the work
it takes to see
one little
ray of
sun
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 10:24 PM UTC
One
scent
would
always
stop
me in my tracks
The hearty,
spicy,
warm,
comforting
smell
of Pumpkin Spice
Any form
A latte
it didn't matter
A candle
it sent my mind back
A car freshener
to thanksgiving pie
A chemical illusion
to a time
filled with
laughter,
filled with
joy,
filled with
food.
This perfectly
magical
scent would
send me rushing home
I'd fling
open
my door
catch a
whiff of that
elusive
scent
My hands
would
shake
my
mouth
would
water
tastebuds
tired
of nothing
but endless
nuts and yogurt and
nuts and yogurt and
yogurt and nuts and
nuts and yogurt and
Craving
that
delicious food
that
danced in my
dreams, almost
tasting the
Sweet
Buttery
Slice
of
one
Perfect
Pie.
Only to find an
empty
kitchen, a dark
house, a
dusty
kitchen, a clean
plate, and
my mom's hopeless eyes
staring
at
the
empty
ceiling.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 5:45 PM UTC
Just one lonely girl in a lonely world
Caught sight of one man she thought could save her
Save her from the thoughts clouding her mind, swirled
In the wind, a solitary feather
Her world resting on his tired shoulders
Wanting nothing but to show her true love
The pressure of her eyes made him bolder
To help her take flight from the cliff, a shove
But years of no commitment and no fights
No emotional wounds to heal stronger
That shove turned their love to nothing but nights
Heated nights, lonely hours stretching longer
They were pulled together by love and trust
Time twisted it into nothing but lust
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 5:08 PM UTC