lani - Hello Poetry

It has been years since I last wrote Anything that my heart emote Revisiting the words I spoke I have not grown as much as I'd hope

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Dec 9, 2024

Dec 9, 2024 at 1:15 AM UTC

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It has been years since I last wrote Anything that my heart emote Revisiting the words I spoke I have not grown as much as I'd hope

4

I remember it well It's one of those things you simply can not forget From that moment I stood there in the bathroom Staring down at that little pink plus sign It felt like my whole world came crashing down on me Fear and joy engulfed me and the unknown startled me Who will you be? this little person that I am creating? Will you look like me? So many question so many thought of doubt Can I do this? Can I be your mom? So many As you grew inside of me It became more and more real As if the severe morning sickness wasn't real enough Can I do this? As my body changed and I felt you move inside of me Nothing else mattered The fear of the unknown was no longer a factor I can do this From that moment I laid there Cover in cold gel Seeing your little limbs move on the screen The first time I saw you I loved you then So deeply When you came out of me And into my arms I loved you even more I didn't even know that was possible I love you my Lu

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Sep 23, 2016

Sep 23, 2016 at 11:00 PM UTC

Ode to my Lu

I remember it well It's one of those things you simply can not forget From that moment I stood there in the bathroom Staring down at that little pink plus sign It felt like my whole world came crashing down on me Fear and joy engulfed me and the unknown startled me Who will you be? this little person that I am creating? Will you look like me? So many question so many thought of doubt Can I do this? Can I be your mom? So many As you grew inside of me It became more and more real As if the severe morning sickness wasn't real enough Can I do this? As my body changed and I felt you move inside of me Nothing else mattered The fear of the unknown was no longer a factor I can do this From that moment I laid there Cover in cold gel Seeing your little limbs move on the screen The first time I saw you I loved you then So deeply When you came out of me And into my arms I loved you even more I didn't even know that was possible I love you my Lu

33

I've come so far as a woman As a person As a human There were times I thought I'd never see the light of day And there were times when we dreaded the rising sun There were nights I wish to never remember And nights I wish I'd never forget Being in the middle of the ocean With no land in sight for miles Everything seems so much more alive Back in society where lights pollutes the night sky I yearn to see the millions of stars shining down on me again The Earth spoke to me In lovely tones and scents In velvet and tweets With the rush of the wind And warmth of the rays In the smell of salt And the cooling of mist In the dawn And in the ending nautical twilight I've come so far Or so I thought The Earth spoke to me again But I can't listen

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Mar 12, 2015

Mar 12, 2015 at 12:27 AM UTC

5Th Fleet

I've come so far as a woman As a person As a human There were times I thought I'd never see the light of day And there were times when we dreaded the rising sun There were nights I wish to never remember And nights I wish I'd never forget Being in the middle of the ocean With no land in sight for miles Everything seems so much more alive Back in society where lights pollutes the night sky I yearn to see the millions of stars shining down on me again The Earth spoke to me In lovely tones and scents In velvet and tweets With the rush of the wind And warmth of the rays In the smell of salt And the cooling of mist In the dawn And in the ending nautical twilight I've come so far Or so I thought The Earth spoke to me again But I can't listen

25

I don't who I've become lately I'm doing things I normally wouldn't do I feel like I'm growing but into what? One nights and cheap wine Who am I anymore?

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May 28, 2014

May 28, 2014 at 10:24 PM UTC

...

I don't who I've become lately I'm doing things I normally wouldn't do I feel like I'm growing but into what? One nights and cheap wine Who am I anymore?

6

It's so funny looking back At my old words It hasn't been that long since then But it's a whole new world I made a choice in life That turned out to be the best choice My life has changed so much In so little time The dark place I was in once before Has been casted away by a new horizon The gloom that bloomed within Has been replaced with such enlightenment My hearts has found a new love One that isn't toxic One that makes me life go around It's funny truly How much people can change in so little time.

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Dec 19, 2013

Dec 19, 2013 at 7:33 PM UTC

The Old Me

It's so funny looking back At my old words It hasn't been that long since then But it's a whole new world I made a choice in life That turned out to be the best choice My life has changed so much In so little time The dark place I was in once before Has been casted away by a new horizon The gloom that bloomed within Has been replaced with such enlightenment My hearts has found a new love One that isn't toxic One that makes me life go around It's funny truly How much people can change in so little time.

17

I was there when you were sick cold and alone I held you close and told you I would never let go You looked into my eyes spilling lies And I could not see through the deceit I don't know why I fell for those obvious falsity The ones you told as you held me close It warmed my heart to hear those lies Escape your lips into my ears

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Nov 14, 2012

Nov 14, 2012 at 1:28 AM UTC

Untitled

I was there when you were sick cold and alone I held you close and told you I would never let go You looked into my eyes spilling lies And I could not see through the deceit I don't know why I fell for those obvious falsity The ones you told as you held me close It warmed my heart to hear those lies Escape your lips into my ears

8

I try to masque it The gloom inside I wear a smile Laugh at all their jokes Pretend to be enthused about things But it's all a lie. I'm a lie.

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Oct 31, 2012

Oct 31, 2012 at 8:58 PM UTC

:)

I try to masque it The gloom inside I wear a smile Laugh at all their jokes Pretend to be enthused about things But it's all a lie. I'm a lie.

7

We broke up so many times. So many times I've moved on But you keep coming back for more And me being silly let you back in Then the whole process repeats itself I don't know how much longer I can take this pain The constant touch and go is becoming tedious I want to be numb Like I once used to be I don't want to feel your dagger piercing my heart I don't want to look into your eyes and want you so much I don't want to love you anymore Numbness please come back to me Save me from myself This pain is over bearing I want to cry but my tears are all dried For I have cried too many times. I want to be numb Numbness please come back to me

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Oct 31, 2012

Oct 31, 2012 at 8:42 PM UTC

****

We broke up so many times. So many times I've moved on But you keep coming back for more And me being silly let you back in Then the whole process repeats itself I don't know how much longer I can take this pain The constant touch and go is becoming tedious I want to be numb Like I once used to be I don't want to feel your dagger piercing my heart I don't want to look into your eyes and want you so much I don't want to love you anymore Numbness please come back to me Save me from myself This pain is over bearing I want to cry but my tears are all dried For I have cried too many times. I want to be numb Numbness please come back to me

20

Sometimes I wonder about my sanity If I have any I often wonder if there's others like me Who think the way I do Notice and exam the things I do I'm quite unusual and I know it No matter what anyone says "You're not weird Lannie" They only the know the facade I put on The fake smile and glow I wear Underneath there's nothing but dust and shells I wonder if anyone had the mind I had How long would it take for them to lose it Its been 21 years and I'm still holding on barely Over analysis Emotional Short tempered and irrational I am insane Constant feeling of dread and doomed Complexity can be interesting to a certain point I am insane And I know it.

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Oct 30, 2012

Oct 30, 2012 at 4:34 AM UTC

Sense?

Sometimes I wonder about my sanity If I have any I often wonder if there's others like me Who think the way I do Notice and exam the things I do I'm quite unusual and I know it No matter what anyone says "You're not weird Lannie" They only the know the facade I put on The fake smile and glow I wear Underneath there's nothing but dust and shells I wonder if anyone had the mind I had How long would it take for them to lose it Its been 21 years and I'm still holding on barely Over analysis Emotional Short tempered and irrational I am insane Constant feeling of dread and doomed Complexity can be interesting to a certain point I am insane And I know it.

25

I get online and the first thing I do is scan the right side of the screen Hoping to see your name with a green dot next to it. Why do I do this to myself? I know that you're no good for me and that last thing I should do Is try to be with you But I love you and I want you so bad it hurts Why can't I get over this sickness? Every night before I lay my head You're on my mind The first thing I think of when the sun rises Is you I just want to be free of you Free of the burden of loving you How long will this take For my heart to make a mends I want to be over you already Please get out of my head.

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Oct 24, 2012

Oct 24, 2012 at 2:54 AM UTC

You're there.

I get online and the first thing I do is scan the right side of the screen Hoping to see your name with a green dot next to it. Why do I do this to myself? I know that you're no good for me and that last thing I should do Is try to be with you But I love you and I want you so bad it hurts Why can't I get over this sickness? Every night before I lay my head You're on my mind The first thing I think of when the sun rises Is you I just want to be free of you Free of the burden of loving you How long will this take For my heart to make a mends I want to be over you already Please get out of my head.

17