We've both got a million bad habits we don't tell anyone.
Not sleeping is one.
The nightmares that keep us from sleeping is another one.
When we're not holding hands, you snap your fingers.
I snap my fingers.
You rip those nasty skin next to your nails with your teeth.
I chew on my knuckles.
You put your hands between your thighs.
I use my fingers to tap on stuff.
When I'm frustrated, I hurt myself.
I punch the wall.
I punch myself.
You bite your lip.
I bite my lip.
We bite our lips until we bleed.
Maybe one day we can calm our lips down the same way we calm down our hands.
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016 at 7:47 AM UTC
My hands shake as I place a letter on the kitchen counter
My heart beats fast as I leave and lock the door behind me
My legs tremble as I go down the stairs and I almost fall
I text my best friend "done".
I sit on the school stairs, waiting
Butterflies in my stomach fly around
Not butterflies, fireflies
Fireflies, burning me inside with anxiety
The phone vibrates
"I've read it and I'm proud of you. Our parents are reading now and they say they love you no matter what"
Acid kills the fireflies and everything calms down around me
I did it.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 6:18 AM UTC
Under the covers of ourselves,
Our souls hide.
Covered behind lies,
Our real selves lie.
Fear and insecurity,
Hidden behind walls.
And yet, you know how to walk them through
And you know every stone of my walls,
The same way I knew yours.
You drew me out of my covers
And now you left me.
You went away,
Away with my security,
Away with my soul.
So I find myself crawling back to my covers,
Inside again.
I will never come out.
I won't let myself be crushed again,
I won't give my soul away again.
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 4:46 AM UTC
Depression is like a bottomless hole
Depression is wanting to go home when you're already there
Depression is being alone surrounded by friends
Depression is laughing the loudest while being the saddest
Depression is a bottomless hole
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
Depression is an invisible force that pulls you deep down into the hole
When you're at the edge of the hole
Looking down into it
The force grabs you by your feet and pulls you down
And the more you go down
More strength you need to climb up
And less will you have to do so
Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Don't let it pull you down completely
Do not reach the bottom
Mar 8, 2014
Mar 8, 2014 at 10:12 AM UTC
You’re close to me
Your perfume, filling my lungs
I can’t breathe, because it smells so good
It hurts
The pain of your smell in my heart
When I lay down
Thinking about you
The way you trick me
Into thinking you love me back
Sometimes I forget he’s the one who stole your heart
And I believe you
You say “come closer”
And there I go
I get close to you
And your smell, it fills my lungs
It takes my breath away
You’re killing me
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 2:54 PM UTC
And with those infinite jests
You **** me slowly
You seem to do them on purpose,
Slowly making me love you more and more
With those infinite jests
The way you look at me
With your bright, shining eyes laughing at me
For I can't have them
The way you touch my face smiling,
Scoffing me, too awkward to return your jests,
Scoffing my strongest desire
If only I could have you,
If only I could return your jests
And with those infinite jests
You **** me slowly
Feb 1, 2014
Feb 1, 2014 at 5:03 PM UTC