kyraspeaks - Hello Poetry

I stole some underwear on a whim but also cuz I didn't have much money more than most tho Someone told me they stole cheese People put avocados through as potatoes cuz they're not affordable I knew someone who paid for about a third of the bras they took and stole the rest so that they would be a more affordable price Maybe things shouldn't be cheaper but wages should definitely be higher. Our hospital is dying with the people within, the concrete flakes like dying skin. We spend $3billion dollars on defence annually. I saw 'we' when I never chose that, I would never agree to it. They say 'defence' when it's an imperialist war project by the West. I wonder whose suffering is propping up whose suffering and how all that suffering is propping up someone else's profit. I wonder how sufferers might forge some sense of solidarity and overthrow the poor mongers, the war mongers together.

0

Oct 23, 2017

Oct 23, 2017 at 3:12 AM UTC

Living Costs

I stole some underwear on a whim but also cuz I didn't have much money more than most tho Someone told me they stole cheese People put avocados through as potatoes cuz they're not affordable I knew someone who paid for about a third of the bras they took and stole the rest so that they would be a more affordable price Maybe things shouldn't be cheaper but wages should definitely be higher. Our hospital is dying with the people within, the concrete flakes like dying skin. We spend $3billion dollars on defence annually. I saw 'we' when I never chose that, I would never agree to it. They say 'defence' when it's an imperialist war project by the West. I wonder whose suffering is propping up whose suffering and how all that suffering is propping up someone else's profit. I wonder how sufferers might forge some sense of solidarity and overthrow the poor mongers, the war mongers together.

16

I read about death and violence I proof read, and top up and eject and print and scan and hand in and sometimes I get full marks. Mark. Marks Marks on the body. Mark my words. (Mark my work.) Karl ************* Marx The communist who launched a thousand memes. My oh my. // The necropolitical is like a funnel a filter, a sieve. Like baking, only you didn't forget to put the oven on and people are inside the oven and so are you. It's not like with the toaster when ur mum tells u to scrap the black crumbs into the drain. It's not like you can unburn the burnt. Oh and the skin grafts? There's a waiting list for that. The waiting list? There's a form for you to get on that. The forms? You need to print them out. The printer? OUT OF ORDER. Buy your own. OUT OF STOCK. Your bank balance? FUNDS INSUFFICIENT. Your bank? Sorry you have reached us out of outside of our operating hours. Outside Outside of our Outside of our operating of our operating hours operating hours and hours and hours and hours Thanks for holding! A representative will be with you shortly... [Dave Dobbyn music continues playing through the phone]

0

Oct 23, 2017

Oct 23, 2017 at 2:48 AM UTC

Beuracrabbit Hole

I read about death and violence I proof read, and top up and eject and print and scan and hand in and sometimes I get full marks. Mark. Marks Marks on the body. Mark my words. (Mark my work.) Karl ************* Marx The communist who launched a thousand memes. My oh my. // The necropolitical is like a funnel a filter, a sieve. Like baking, only you didn't forget to put the oven on and people are inside the oven and so are you. It's not like with the toaster when ur mum tells u to scrap the black crumbs into the drain. It's not like you can unburn the burnt. Oh and the skin grafts? There's a waiting list for that. The waiting list? There's a form for you to get on that. The forms? You need to print them out. The printer? OUT OF ORDER. Buy your own. OUT OF STOCK. Your bank balance? FUNDS INSUFFICIENT. Your bank? Sorry you have reached us out of outside of our operating hours. Outside Outside of our Outside of our operating of our operating hours operating hours and hours and hours and hours Thanks for holding! A representative will be with you shortly... [Dave Dobbyn music continues playing through the phone]

50

Why can’t we swear in academia? Why can’t we swear in acedmia? Tell me, WHY THE **** can’t we swear in academia, why the EVER LOVING **** , can’t we swear in academia? Say **** how we’d actually say **** Why the **** we gotta contort into this PISS-ASS RESPONSIBLE, PROPER, PROFESSIONAL, BUSINESS-CASUAL, ******* ASS-WIPING ******** LANGUAGE that no one can ******* relate to or get their head around? Academia GET YOUR RESPECTABILITY POLITICS OFF MY **** OUT OF MY FACE AND OFF MY **** and let me say ***** ****** UP!” when **** sure as **** IS ****** UP! Actually no, academia, **** OUTTA HERE WITH YOUR TONE POLICING CLUSTERFUCK, I’m not waiting for permission. I’m gunna start right the **** now. And don’t you dare tell me to shut up, **** **** **** SHITTY-FUCK, YOU BIG-BOYZ CLUB OF WHITE ***** ******** **** yourself.

0

Oct 1, 2017

Oct 1, 2017 at 8:45 PM UTC

******* Academia

Why can’t we swear in academia? Why can’t we swear in acedmia? Tell me, WHY THE **** can’t we swear in academia, why the EVER LOVING **** , can’t we swear in academia? Say **** how we’d actually say **** Why the **** we gotta contort into this PISS-ASS RESPONSIBLE, PROPER, PROFESSIONAL, BUSINESS-CASUAL, ******* ASS-WIPING ******** LANGUAGE that no one can ******* relate to or get their head around? Academia GET YOUR RESPECTABILITY POLITICS OFF MY **** OUT OF MY FACE AND OFF MY **** and let me say ***** ****** UP!” when **** sure as **** IS ****** UP! Actually no, academia, **** OUTTA HERE WITH YOUR TONE POLICING CLUSTERFUCK, I’m not waiting for permission. I’m gunna start right the **** now. And don’t you dare tell me to shut up, **** **** **** SHITTY-FUCK, YOU BIG-BOYZ CLUB OF WHITE ***** ******** **** yourself.

5

Beach shell varnished, kerosene, A crack in coastal stain glass window, like a hair across the face Disrupting the vast porcelain “you’ve got a hair on your face, let me just” and then it takes the lipstick with it, a line printed like a paper cut, “where’s the razor? Where did you put it?” I put it in the bin and try and not seem too desperate. We bundle into a car Like some odd kind of sleepover. A plaque on the wall saying the current prime minister opened it back in the day. The old building is cracking like sedimentary rock in reverse. The lemon lime and bitters clink in the bag and I can almost convince myself it’s a summers day packing to go Off to the beach, running down With a picnic blanket Sand in shoes Tinkling down like an egg timer. Seals, odd floppy babies about to bark, The tussock a balding old man, spattered across the dunes “let’s get icecream” “let’s get fish and chips” “let’s get out and stop take a photo” the wind whipping your hair at your face flicking icream off the cone onto your face, why is it all so messy? Let’s got to kākanui, let’s go to moeraki Let’s stop to get a coffee. You sure it’s safe to drive, this tired? Let’s stop and have a nap. You good to go? Yeah You sure? Yup

0

Sep 27, 2017

Sep 27, 2017 at 9:54 PM UTC

Emergency Psychiatric Sand Dunes

Beach shell varnished, kerosene, A crack in coastal stain glass window, like a hair across the face Disrupting the vast porcelain “you’ve got a hair on your face, let me just” and then it takes the lipstick with it, a line printed like a paper cut, “where’s the razor? Where did you put it?” I put it in the bin and try and not seem too desperate. We bundle into a car Like some odd kind of sleepover. A plaque on the wall saying the current prime minister opened it back in the day. The old building is cracking like sedimentary rock in reverse. The lemon lime and bitters clink in the bag and I can almost convince myself it’s a summers day packing to go Off to the beach, running down With a picnic blanket Sand in shoes Tinkling down like an egg timer. Seals, odd floppy babies about to bark, The tussock a balding old man, spattered across the dunes “let’s get icecream” “let’s get fish and chips” “let’s get out and stop take a photo” the wind whipping your hair at your face flicking icream off the cone onto your face, why is it all so messy? Let’s got to kākanui, let’s go to moeraki Let’s stop to get a coffee. You sure it’s safe to drive, this tired? Let’s stop and have a nap. You good to go? Yeah You sure? Yup

34

I wouldn’t like this. A class full of uncomfortable individualised strangers. An over head projector, prodding, obvious questions, trying to ascertain the exact purpose or meaning. The space for ambiguity is closed up like a canon eclipsed by an earthquake. Highlighter and underlining of a spontaneous experience. They are trying to make water into concrete. I just want it be able to bubble and foam and languish but they want to pin it down. I would be sad and disgusted if I saw my floaty feelings pin boarded up onto the wall for dissection Do not treat my insides in this way

0

Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 9:46 PM UTC

Class dissection

I wouldn’t like this. A class full of uncomfortable individualised strangers. An over head projector, prodding, obvious questions, trying to ascertain the exact purpose or meaning. The space for ambiguity is closed up like a canon eclipsed by an earthquake. Highlighter and underlining of a spontaneous experience. They are trying to make water into concrete. I just want it be able to bubble and foam and languish but they want to pin it down. I would be sad and disgusted if I saw my floaty feelings pin boarded up onto the wall for dissection Do not treat my insides in this way

13

The fonterrorists will go elsewhere The big boy powers always find a small dot far away from their large splodge To check and wreck havoc to It’s got to be far far enough away that if you can smell the smoke, It’s faint enough that you could mistake it for incense Or your might twitch your nose Turn your head and say Is someone smoking? It smells like someone is smoking? When the water is more **** than water When it is only dry, desitutte, eroded wasted uselessness, The fonterrorists will go elsewhere Somewhere with more utility.

0

Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 9:09 PM UTC

elsewhere

The fonterrorists will go elsewhere The big boy powers always find a small dot far away from their large splodge To check and wreck havoc to It’s got to be far far enough away that if you can smell the smoke, It’s faint enough that you could mistake it for incense Or your might twitch your nose Turn your head and say Is someone smoking? It smells like someone is smoking? When the water is more **** than water When it is only dry, desitutte, eroded wasted uselessness, The fonterrorists will go elsewhere Somewhere with more utility.

14

VC CV CCTV STD STI FYI DTF EFTS FTW *** WHO WOW POW WWI WWII WTH TTPA HTTP TOFTB OTP SMH IMHO

0

Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 7:20 AM UTC

WTH

VC CV CCTV STD STI FYI DTF EFTS FTW *** WHO WOW POW WWI WWII WTH TTPA HTTP TOFTB OTP SMH IMHO

22

I wrote student fees and it autocorrected to fears My friend was drunk and said CV when they meant VC Volunteering is sold to us like a product, it's not that it's good in of itself, it's good for your self, it'll look good on your CV it'll look good on your CV it'll look good on your CV it'll look good on your CV if only you could see me if only you could see me if only you could see me you'd see the way my face freezes or flinches either one, there is a pain that runs across my face like an electric shock dehumanising someone is like they invented a wireless, handsfree, bluetooth way of stabbing someone, you can do it without touching me, but I can assure the pain in my chest will tell you otherwise, you have cut me please help me find the plug at the wall help me restart help me find the USB charger help me connect you've convinced me that if I claw at my arm long enough wires will spark and spit at me I am a machine because you treat me as one like when they ask for my number at Student Health or they ask for my number at Studylink or they ask for number at the Bank I remember I am nothing like everyone else. Does logging off look bad on your CV?

0

Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 7:13 AM UTC

CV/ See me [or "Slips"]

I wrote student fees and it autocorrected to fears My friend was drunk and said CV when they meant VC Volunteering is sold to us like a product, it's not that it's good in of itself, it's good for your self, it'll look good on your CV it'll look good on your CV it'll look good on your CV it'll look good on your CV if only you could see me if only you could see me if only you could see me you'd see the way my face freezes or flinches either one, there is a pain that runs across my face like an electric shock dehumanising someone is like they invented a wireless, handsfree, bluetooth way of stabbing someone, you can do it without touching me, but I can assure the pain in my chest will tell you otherwise, you have cut me please help me find the plug at the wall help me restart help me find the USB charger help me connect you've convinced me that if I claw at my arm long enough wires will spark and spit at me I am a machine because you treat me as one like when they ask for my number at Student Health or they ask for my number at Studylink or they ask for number at the Bank I remember I am nothing like everyone else. Does logging off look bad on your CV?

33

Use canned spaghetti as thread to stitch together the frayed edge of your t-shirt. Use your t-shirt to show how you’re the coolest most-hippest, most up with the kids kid there is. Where’d you get that shirt? Online. Bop your head to the music so they know you know this song. Harder or they won’t see you. That’s not hard enough. Neck snap! Yeah, right there. Hold still while I take a photo. Do you mind if I make this my cover photo? Take a selfie of you crying in the bathroom and hashtag it. Snapchat it to your local MP so they know how you feel - be sure to use an emoji. #studentdebt Tears streaming down your face. (If it’s a hashtag it’s easier to emotionally process.) #policebrutality #throwbackthursday #massincaceration It’s a good thing there’s emojis for black people now. Look at how far we’ve come! #nomakeup #vegan #crueltyfree #childslavelabour #iwokeuplikethis #campusrape #notallmen #yesallwomen #freethenipple #2k16 #mentalhealthcuts #stopkillingtranswomen #waterislife #standwithstandingrock Have you followed Human Rights on Facebook? It’s the only way to get them. Have you seen the Ted Talk about it? In just 20 minutes you’ll know everything there is know about it. Sorry. You don’t seem like you’re focused. You’re thirsty? Let me make you a smoothie. I’ll put the chocolate bar in the blender whole, leave the wrapper on. Taste the tinfoil and the plastic. Eat the barcode, become the product. That’s modern life. Don’t take out the hair or the fingernail or the Band-Aid. Don’t hide from the human components of the production line that made this Kit-Kat possible for you, kid. That’s modern life. Go to the voting booth, refuse to choose between the diversity of 50 versions of the same smiling white man. Scrawl: **** these ****** (have no faith in none of them) That’s modern life. With jittering teeth and goosebumps, put your toaster in the sink. Overflow it with water. You will only need a fork to get warm. Electrocution is the most economical form of heating. Be Energywise. That’s modern life. Puff marijuana smoke through the bars into the brown faces of those who were incarcerated for doing what you freely do now. That’s modern life. Burn your eyes on the screen. But before you do, memorise the 0800 number for the optometrist. Post your suicide note on YikYak to save paper. No-one likes reading hard copies these days anyways. #papercuts #selfharm Search for motivation on EBay. If you’re lucky it’ll have free shipping and arrive in 1-5 business days. Snapchat your friend’s words of encouragement, God knows they’ve seen enough dickpics. Take a chicken to KFC and tell them you’re sorry. Get in the cars of the men who yell “Hey baby!”. They’ll be so surprised they wont know what to do next. Swap your woman-chest with a man-chest and see if your ******* are still illegal. Drive through town throwing dirt with one hand and seeds in the other. Maybe, if you do it long enough this claustrophobic concrete will be gone. Bleed on every seat until the government pays for menstrual products. Train seagulls to throw YOU chips. **** a woman and a man simultaneously, so that you can be sure everyone knows you’re bisexual. Blockade inaccessible buildings with piles of wheelchairs. Grab time by the fabric and rip it, cuz we all know rips look really punk, and all you really are is just some young punk.

0

Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 7:02 AM UTC

Disruptive!

Use canned spaghetti as thread to stitch together the frayed edge of your t-shirt. Use your t-shirt to show how you’re the coolest most-hippest, most up with the kids kid there is. Where’d you get that shirt? Online. Bop your head to the music so they know you know this song. Harder or they won’t see you. That’s not hard enough. Neck snap! Yeah, right there. Hold still while I take a photo. Do you mind if I make this my cover photo? Take a selfie of you crying in the bathroom and hashtag it. Snapchat it to your local MP so they know how you feel - be sure to use an emoji. #studentdebt Tears streaming down your face. (If it’s a hashtag it’s easier to emotionally process.) #policebrutality #throwbackthursday #massincaceration It’s a good thing there’s emojis for black people now. Look at how far we’ve come! #nomakeup #vegan #crueltyfree #childslavelabour #iwokeuplikethis #campusrape #notallmen #yesallwomen #freethenipple #2k16 #mentalhealthcuts #stopkillingtranswomen #waterislife #standwithstandingrock Have you followed Human Rights on Facebook? It’s the only way to get them. Have you seen the Ted Talk about it? In just 20 minutes you’ll know everything there is know about it. Sorry. You don’t seem like you’re focused. You’re thirsty? Let me make you a smoothie. I’ll put the chocolate bar in the blender whole, leave the wrapper on. Taste the tinfoil and the plastic. Eat the barcode, become the product. That’s modern life. Don’t take out the hair or the fingernail or the Band-Aid. Don’t hide from the human components of the production line that made this Kit-Kat possible for you, kid. That’s modern life. Go to the voting booth, refuse to choose between the diversity of 50 versions of the same smiling white man. Scrawl: **** these ****** (have no faith in none of them) That’s modern life. With jittering teeth and goosebumps, put your toaster in the sink. Overflow it with water. You will only need a fork to get warm. Electrocution is the most economical form of heating. Be Energywise. That’s modern life. Puff marijuana smoke through the bars into the brown faces of those who were incarcerated for doing what you freely do now. That’s modern life. Burn your eyes on the screen. But before you do, memorise the 0800 number for the optometrist. Post your suicide note on YikYak to save paper. No-one likes reading hard copies these days anyways. #papercuts #selfharm Search for motivation on EBay. If you’re lucky it’ll have free shipping and arrive in 1-5 business days. Snapchat your friend’s words of encouragement, God knows they’ve seen enough dickpics. Take a chicken to KFC and tell them you’re sorry. Get in the cars of the men who yell “Hey baby!”. They’ll be so surprised they wont know what to do next. Swap your woman-chest with a man-chest and see if your ******* are still illegal. Drive through town throwing dirt with one hand and seeds in the other. Maybe, if you do it long enough this claustrophobic concrete will be gone. Bleed on every seat until the government pays for menstrual products. Train seagulls to throw YOU chips. **** a woman and a man simultaneously, so that you can be sure everyone knows you’re bisexual. Blockade inaccessible buildings with piles of wheelchairs. Grab time by the fabric and rip it, cuz we all know rips look really punk, and all you really are is just some young punk.

24

I like talking about ******* And I like laughing about awkward situations that aren’t my own I love hearing about how other peoples parent relationships are just as ****** up if not more than mine. I feel understood when someone new inevitably tells me they have anxiety, Or that they hated school. Cigarettes and beer on men’s breathes still make me dissociate. And I still try and squash my stomach out of existence or into my pocket to put someone else’s comfort first. And I still ignore pain during *** and separate my mind and body into compartments to situate myself in the part where it feels good. I’m still angry. I still get pangs when I see particular people’s names, or photos, or mention of their friends or favourite music. The pang is dulled now like a blunted needle… But still the stab reminds me of the twang it used to bring. That would pull at my limbs till I was foetal and wretching. I think I got bored of my own pain, Or I wore myself out. I think there’s only so long you can hold both sides of a non-existent conversation. I’m still reaching for affection, compliments and pet names… And I don’t know if it’s ****** or parental but god I just want to be hugged. I caught myself by surprise once when I snuggled up to my dad and as I lay beside him watching a movie, I revealed to myself how much I was hurting. I am sick of crying bathroom selfies. I am sick of shower crying and breakfast skipping. But I do like the rush your body gives you after you’ve let loose on tears. It makes me wonder if depression is just a little bit addictive. I still like that feeling…and sometimes I want to feel sad because it feels deep.. But it’s only enticing until you’re there and then it’s a deceptive tar pit of hell, And you’re tricked and sticky and heavy. I haven’t been depressed in ages, But my memory’s bad so I might have felt awful last week I’m not sure.

0

Sep 17, 2017

Sep 17, 2017 at 6:56 AM UTC

*** depression and fear (but it's shifting)

I like talking about ******* And I like laughing about awkward situations that aren’t my own I love hearing about how other peoples parent relationships are just as ****** up if not more than mine. I feel understood when someone new inevitably tells me they have anxiety, Or that they hated school. Cigarettes and beer on men’s breathes still make me dissociate. And I still try and squash my stomach out of existence or into my pocket to put someone else’s comfort first. And I still ignore pain during *** and separate my mind and body into compartments to situate myself in the part where it feels good. I’m still angry. I still get pangs when I see particular people’s names, or photos, or mention of their friends or favourite music. The pang is dulled now like a blunted needle… But still the stab reminds me of the twang it used to bring. That would pull at my limbs till I was foetal and wretching. I think I got bored of my own pain, Or I wore myself out. I think there’s only so long you can hold both sides of a non-existent conversation. I’m still reaching for affection, compliments and pet names… And I don’t know if it’s ****** or parental but god I just want to be hugged. I caught myself by surprise once when I snuggled up to my dad and as I lay beside him watching a movie, I revealed to myself how much I was hurting. I am sick of crying bathroom selfies. I am sick of shower crying and breakfast skipping. But I do like the rush your body gives you after you’ve let loose on tears. It makes me wonder if depression is just a little bit addictive. I still like that feeling…and sometimes I want to feel sad because it feels deep.. But it’s only enticing until you’re there and then it’s a deceptive tar pit of hell, And you’re tricked and sticky and heavy. I haven’t been depressed in ages, But my memory’s bad so I might have felt awful last week I’m not sure.

26