you are right for me
in so many
wrong ways
you are wrong for me
in so many
right ways
how do I choose?
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 3:58 AM UTC
the easiest and the hardest thing to write about
is love.
it is the most unique emotion a human can go through.
everyone questions if love is real.
if love is a feeling
why don't they question
if happiness is real?
sadness?
I believe love is a mixture of everything.
the way you wake up in the morning,
if you have a partner next to you
or not,
you can still feel love.
It doesn't have to be between two beings.
Although lovely,
I find the most beautiful love in myself.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 3:51 AM UTC
I feel a rush
A need
To jump
Jump back into myself
Like I’m 12 again
Splashing into the Atlantic
For the first time
Letting the saltwater
Overtake my entire soul
Not knowing what pure bliss was
Until that moment
I’m ready to feel that again
No fear
No doubts
Just letting this wave
Take hold of me
And make me
Knowingly better
I lost myself
For a while
But I found me again
With the help
Of others around me
Filling me
With pure beauty
And immense positivity
I feel like I can take on anything
I feel determined
A drive
A sense of self
But more importantly
happy.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 3:35 AM UTC
Pinot is my favorite.
Three glasses later
we talk about our aspirations
and the future.
One more glass
turns into a 180 spin
how have I not become good enough?
I tell you things I want to learn
but you say I should have learned them already.
Another glass in.
you tell me how great I am
but the things I do daily
make me not good enough for you
how does that make sense?
I understand you're older
but there's a thing called balance,
which you refuse to acknowledge.
I curl up with an Ikea pillow
in the guest bedroom,
the closest thing I have for comfort.
I guess I know now
not to ask
why you didn't get me
flowers
on Valentine's Day.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 3:33 AM UTC
I see a different world in his eyes,
A world I want to indulge in
But our laughter breaks the stare
And I realize I just to hear
This tune on repeat.
The riddles
he throws at me
Makes my mind go blank,
I'm too busy staring
At the freckles on his face
And wondering if he feels
The same way about me.
I shake my head trying
To configure the lines he conveyed
While I look down and study the bulging veins
on the top of his hands and think
of ways not to get hurt again.
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 2:27 AM UTC
It's only been 24 hours
and the thing I miss most is your smell.
Because I know that when that scent surrounds me,
your arms are holding me tight and
your lips are pressed against my forehead.
There's acoustic music playing in the background
and you smell of Dove soap,
the same soap I have used every time to bathe
since I was five.
But it never smelled that good until I met you.
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 7:57 PM UTC
you are the shots of ***** I wanted to take
in order to feel a certain bliss;
but I only feel the burning sensation down my throat,
the same way it felt when you said you didn't love me.
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 5:57 PM UTC
I don't want to know what this sad feeling is like anymore.
The significance of it taking over my life.
Does this mean anything at all?
This black hole caving in the pit of my stomach.
I can't be civil with myself.
I don't want to know what this sad feeling is like anymore.
I want to be more refined.
I want to be close to those who are apparently close to me.
I did everything for them but they feel nothing for me.
Reality is here and I don't want to face it.
I want to keep myself alive through my strengths.
But I don't know what they are.
I don't want to know what this sad feeling is like anymore.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 12:53 AM UTC
Joseph,
These past 3 years I have been seeing you and talking to you about the difficulties with my parents and being happy with myself. I told you about how I am not happy at college and I am trying to transfer schools. But I had some time to myself today and I realized that it’s not this school that I am unhappy with it is myself. I love being alone; spending time watching Netflix or just roaming around to new places, but then I become lonely. I do not know how to fully interact with others and that scares the **** out of me. I try to be myself but there’s this massive wall with which only alcohol can put a crack in that others can reach me to. Kate is the only one who has put the biggest crack as if she can poke her eye through the hole to see me, but I keep patching up each crack the best I can. I don’t know how to let others in and I don’t know if I want people to reach me. I feel like I need to go away for a while to a place where others feel the same as I do. I try to think of places to go to where I can find myself but I keep thinking of staying in hospitals because the only other people that feel this way are ******* crazy.
I don’t feel like I’m insane but I need help.
Best regards,
Kristen
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 7:57 PM UTC
My favorite times with my mom
Were when she'd give me raspberry kisses,
And whirl me in the air as if I were a million dollars.
Now when I see her it's just empty wine glasses,
And making wishes that money was at the bottom
of the glass.
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 11:26 PM UTC