Dull frost
Blind Neon
Bite my neck
and drag me
unconscious into
the paradox
of your experienced chaos
I might squint
I might clench a shy fist
but I assure you
I
wanted
this.
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 9:18 PM UTC
It took me
two friends
in a be it
empty campus parking lot
to realize what life is
with all our fading chews
I write.
Dear you two,
We are now 40 years old
Ambiguous
Forgiving
Changed
I feel like I did when I first saw you
Thanks for showing up
Like you did
All those years before
We need not carve our promises and stories
Because you are here
Dear you two,
Laying in front of me
I am
Overwhelmed
To reach out and hold you guys
by your waists
like we did
when we could.
It's different now and we're
okay
07/30/16
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 2, 2016 at 11:10 AM UTC
How fogged up could somebody get
That they end up being the people
They promised they’ll never be
Screaming Hypocrisy in front of a mirror
Expecting someone else to get hurt
And then you realize
How thin ice is
And that the line between laughing and crying is
Incomprehensible in the mute
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 9:31 AM UTC
For three weeks I avoided Social Networking
It would always make me sick to my stomach
It was a plague I agreed to
So that’s what the terms and conditions were for!
A waiver for your time
A waiver for your soul
It was that we blindly agreed to sell
Personality and Self- Esteem
Trading it for likes
Just a few minutes ago I changed my profile picture
Someone liked it
Well ****
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 9:28 AM UTC
I try to start things
Unattached
Simple
Believing that if I set a pace
Those things can be as right
As plans should be right
And that I can leave
Whenever I want
But
Because
Aggregations that stop me from
What was once simple?
I have fallen
Deeply
Aggressively
Into this
I’m walking with two left feet
And time has blurred out the numbers
And arms that are stuck on 2 in the afternoon
Oh the Convenience of love and illusion
But then I blink and it’s 12
And I’ve felt too much
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 9:19 AM UTC
Nothingness makes nothing
That’s why numb artists die stale
Alcohol and Drugs
It’s cheating
Forcing neon when you’re really pale
We fought
And that’s what I did
I convinced myself
That you were distant
And the explosive apology
Had reached me in a far compass
I was at awe with the darling pastel
Because
I was sure it started from something more
I was just too far away to see from the center
It’s the illusion I tempted myself into
I made something out of nothing
I didn’t want us to grow stale
And I didn’t want to cheat
And I didn’t want to have to introduce myself again
So I accept your apology
Alright?
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 9:17 AM UTC
I’m afraid
That you’ll wake up one day
And remember
That you’re in love with
The next girl who
Broke your heart
I stood by the door long enough
To know that you’ve answered
Her familiar knock
I’ve stood by long enough to know
How to be when that day comes
My luggage is set
But I’m not ready
To say goodbye
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 9:15 AM UTC
How long do I have
Until you realize
That you were never really
Over her ?
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 9:12 AM UTC
I don’t like having to put in the effort on things that leave an extra page missing
I can’t trust it
You’re every little thread I’ve tiptoed around
Making sure I don’t move on unchartered space too quickly
I felt like you didn’t want that too
With your experience and all
Your chapters have started
There have been important people
Leaving fly leafs
Or bookmarks
Waiting to be scanned through blankly
Or
Revisited
I don’t know who was important enough
And I’m too afraid to ask
As to who
That little thread head was
So I made a subtle investigation
I’ve wandered around some parts of your book to merit
Audible versions of this girl whose book
So well covered
In dusted promises and doodles
There was an innocence left of her
That was so kept
She needed to hold my hand
To lift her pages so slightly
“Careful”
She whispers a great deal
These past few months
She’s trusted me with
The choreographed pressure of how
To feather the leaves of her past
On good days she’d read back ours
I’ve quoted enough lines and characters and memories
To entertain her of how it once was
The threads vibrate and echo
Reiterated but answers back the same
The untangled locks at least
I’ve seen fly leafs
Those were left with no closure
“We kind of just stopped talking” or “can we not mention her”
I’ve seen bookmarks
Of relatives and family and friends
And lovers
The bookmark had thread hair that tangled up so much that it left an aching worry in my heart
She was a lover
A lover with a bookmark
The bookmark who echoed a little too differently and brushed my skin too often when I’d lift a page
A little too close to the chapter on which she was written about
I don’t have quotes on her
But I have their stories
Stories have become our currency
The currency that equaled trust
The same currency that taught me how she was
And how to be
The currency that mattered
I’ve invested on these stories and have managed the skill of being gentle
I was the chapter that started after the messed up spool of the thread head lover
I guess that’s why it brushes in so close to me
I’m worried that I’ll end up tripping over thread, hold a page too tight
That I’ll rip down my own pages
And mess up perfectly fonted words
Forcing you to
Close down a chapter of me with a torn out page
You were too sentimental to throw away
And just be left as not even
A bookmark
But rather a poor excuse for a fly leaf that
You’d rather not talk about.
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 9:05 AM UTC