What the **** did I ever do
Where the hell did I go wrong
I tried my best and yet see
People who tried the bare minimum succeed
Am I born to just fail
Is nothing good written in my fate.?
Why do I even ask you again
You failed me time and again
Ever the witness never the one
Neither in life nor in love
Nothing works out
Nothing falls in place
Hardwork is quite the myth
Made me lose sleep and breath
Honestly honesty is the worst policy
To cheat and thrive was what I missed
Did nothing I loved
Believing pain would reap
But pain breeds pain
And sacrifices leads to loss
Heartbreak, heartache I wish it just stopped
To see people succed and wonder where I went wrong
Ever the praise never the praised
Ever the yearner never the yearned
May 27
May 27, 2026 at 5:45 PM UTC
I wish I could just claw out of my heart
Run through my blood and fall through the tears
I wish I could tape my mouth for a second
And escape my mind for anoher season
Why do I always need permission to break??
Why do the scars on my hands always seem fake
I am tired, just tired of trying to hold back
Tired of trying to weigh my own heart break
Do I not have the permission to fall down??
Why compare my tears that they turn back
I am tired of this blurred landscape.
If I could just evaporate and fall down as rain
Down down down your face
Will my pain join yours or will it still be left unseen?
The rush to end all this chatter
To just run into the traffic with a meloncholic smile.
The pain that still has not found a reason
Is trapped inside me like new treason
I feel the whole world crash down to a point
And then that point engulfed me as a whole
The darkness is of new magnitudes
And the light escaped behind my crooked shadows
I wanna blow out into a million pieces
Each one just writhing and plagued with mortal pain
The torture of life is just kicking in
Who thought I would be this masochistic?
Feb 2
Feb 2, 2026 at 3:17 PM UTC
Maybe, maybe I died that day
I still remember the chill
The days were bleak and nights haunted
My cries still echoe in some empty rooms
Locked within my memories
Maybe I died that day that I felt like dying
That day when nothing seemed to matter anymore
That day when I called my mom crying and ended with silence
Maybe I died that day that I buried the last dream that I had saved
For, from the very next one I didnt feel the sting
Suddenly the fog lifted and everything sorted out
No more worries , no more poetic deaths waiting for my fate
I could no longer feel the pain that was harrasing my days
So maybe I died that day, that after which I lost my pain,
The day after which I lost me again to myself..
Oct 31, 2025
Oct 31, 2025 at 7:47 PM UTC
Who was the one that claimed
All that seen when in love would glow?
It was always the opposite that I ever saw
Even things that made me smile before
Would wither away burnt by mere yearning
I would see clouds on a sunny day
And scortching heat on a rainy one
Whatever they did would decide my truth
Whatever I did to escape would just be in vain
To be blinded by love is not a pretty thing
The eyes would scar, wound and finally rot
To tie your happiness around someones wrist
Is the worst way to be in peace
The jerks pulls and sways would **** your dreams
And you would still smile in pain without shame
To be in love is one of the hardest games
There is no happiness or beauty in that phase
So who was the one who saw beauty in love
For I would love to correct that fool once and for all
Oct 19, 2025
Oct 19, 2025 at 8:52 PM UTC
I hate my smile
I hate my tears
I hate every ******* hair on me
I feel repulsed
Like I just might puke
What is this feeling of depair??
Even my sound, every syllable
Kills my mood and pins the hate
I loathe my smell, skin starts to crawl
I wish I were not so pathetic
I wanna cry but why bother
No one cares, its not just me
I feel so lost and worth no one's time
Hate the way I try to love myself
Finding thrill in wasteful wins
I know I lost yet still hold on
That spirit feeds the hate in me
I wanna die, just help my worthless self
Or maybe not I cant decide
I wanna feel the greatest sin
And then the gulit that could swallow me
What pride ? What love?
My greatest gift is hate
Sep 4, 2025
Sep 4, 2025 at 2:34 AM UTC
I wonder why people still call me
Relentlessly, even if I never pick
Why do they send a thousand notes
Of how much they miss me and my smile?
It surprises me most of all, the joy
They feel upon seeing me once
Am I that worth?
The thought that haunts is
" isnt it better if I was not?"
But then again is this all in my head??
Does my desperation reflect off their gleaming eyes??
Is it my pleas of loneliness that echoes back
From their perfectly sewen crystal lips?
Am I the one calling out my name
All day, all night just to be assured,
That someone somewhere still needs my soul
Just as I need someone to feel my soul..
Aug 24, 2025
Aug 24, 2025 at 9:57 AM UTC
You are utterly blind to the noose,
Tightening around my throat.
Gasping for the last of breath,
I stare at you in despair......
Without any remorse you tighten it more
More and more and more and more
Until I choked on my bloodied dreams,
While you stayed in silence, acting confused.
" What did we do? We are but mere spectators,
Your life, your choice, and the noose that you designed"
Then tell me why is it's end still staining your hands?
You killed me and buried me within my own heart
And cemented it in familiar monotony to never beat in unfamiliar joy.
You planted unwanted weeds of doubt in my thoughts
And made me toil for dreams not mine.
You ask me where you went wrong?
What made me pluck out the last straw of life?
It was always you and your disguised chain,
And when you bare witness to my rotting corpse one day,
Know that your silent expectations killed me long before that fated day of escape.
May 3, 2025
May 3, 2025 at 4:32 AM UTC
The silence is carving out my heart
Pitch black,tight ropes,lost roads
Mind in a functionally confused haze
Separating my voice from my own
Inner monologues are carefully woven
Seeking company deep within the void
I shout out and listen to the echoes
Echoes of pain, tears and hurt within the heart
Tonight I hope for someone to return
Tomorrow, I still might get a call
Yet I wonder years from now
When I am completely inside the walls
That I build for myself now
Would there even be that hope?
Could I even expect company ?
Or a soul to hold me back from insanity?
I am embarking on the darkest path
Even shadows wont follow me into that depth
Apr 18, 2025
Apr 18, 2025 at 2:01 PM UTC
Please don't awaken her
Cease your drumrolls and applause
Please let her be
Do not pull her out of her slumber
She scares me
to my very existence
Her presence
should not be sought
Every night I had quenched her thirst
Listening ardently
to her never ending accusations
and pretending to care
I wish not to go back
to that state of utter dismay
I wish not to hear
one more song of pain
Without her
I have been at peace
Do not disrupt
the tranquility that I achieved
You are unfamiliar
with her constant bickering
for those were reserved
for me and me alone
Her hate and disgust
coated with sympathy
had more than once
driven me to a knife
Her insanity is a secret
that I tried to hide
To keep her within my head
was a mistake, it seems
Chaining her up
was my last resort
She screamed and clawed
but at last she was gone
So do not wake her
the one that made me question my sanity
the one that made me cry for reasons unknown
the one that I have buried deep within my mind
For she is me
but the version that scares my very being.
Apr 15, 2025
Apr 15, 2025 at 1:00 PM UTC
There once was a kingdom of gods
Far into the world beyond our deeds
Two sons to the king, who ruled in truth
Two sons, two kings, yet none to rule
The kingdom awaited its king of new
While the eldest frolicked in pleasure
The youngest brooded in thoughts of court
Both as distant as the moon was to sun
Despite the king's commands to ascend his right
The crown prince dared to descend to depths
He fell in love with a maiden down there
Drawn to her withering life from far
He followed her as the breeze in her hair
Moving mountains to pave her way
The gods above saw the golden chance
To rid the throne of the prince forever
They fed the king with lies and truths
Making him command the second prince in haste
"Bring back the mortal’s head tied to your brother’s wrist.
Soon, the crown awaits the rightful heir."
He left to carry out his father's word
Yet he too fell in love before soon
The girl he thought he were to end
Became the one he would end himself for
A mistake so divine that he considered blessed
The brothers lived days of peace
With their lovers, but it was a quick breath
Soon kings and gods descended upon their joy
Giving the ultimate test of love
One was asked to give up his dreams
To ascend the throne and rule in pain
The younger prince bowed his head to it
He wore the crown though it made him bleed
He erased his traces from his lover’s mind
And became the silent god in her life
The older one, on the other hand, gave up his life
Of power and divinity and immortal truth
He became the lover and not the god
Mortal and weak beside his love
Both brothers gave up their lives—
One for love, and the other for life
Apr 12, 2025
Apr 12, 2025 at 11:04 PM UTC