It's back again, that terrible urge to slice myself open and observe
What would pool at the surface and drip from my arms-
Crimson pools spilling from my lifelines pipelines.
And it comes when I'm alone, at nighttime.
Then it appears when I think about what I did last year.
And it comes when you're gone, but mostly when you're here.
Charming, really, the thought of pain-
At least for me, at least today.
And it's true I can't tout any physical gain
Except a visualization of perceived pain and strife.
So now please, tell me, how you would clear your head
If you felt like you'd lived most of your life
Already dead?
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 8:35 PM UTC
What is language but a painting
Interpreted from mind to mind?
Movement, texture, value, light
Beauty, darkness, hope, and slight,
Channeled within from me to you
With only a tongue,
This mental picture grew.
So I inquire, is there any soul
Who as of now finds their palette whole?
Who, given opportunity, would deny
to see colors imperceptible
to the human eye?
None exist who would forsake the chance,
But most give not a second glance
To shelves of books, stuffed richly with words
That expand the canvas of the mind to contain
Amazing landscapes, the view of birds,
The warmth of the sun and the sting of rain.
With these words one can think in colors unseen
The ocean is not blue, but aquamarine;
The sunset sky was clearly cerise;
We were not plagued with wind,
But stroked by a breeze.
Clearly without color life is dull,
So it follows that these words we mustn't cull.
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014 at 1:54 AM UTC
His voice slapped me in the face.
It snapped like bubblegum.
He looked at me like I was the punchline
To the joke running through his head.
He looked at me with amused affection, almost like a lover,
But without tenderness or caring, only hunger.
I introduced myself because he had alcohol
And showed no interest in me.
A perfect subject.
I sat beside him, broke him away from another,
And told him the secrets he most wanted to hear.
Showed him that intimacy and secrets mean nothing to me,
That I was quick to open up.
His power came from a recklessness that even I couldn’t compete with;
I was nothing, and knew it, and loved it.
Everyone left without me, intentions clear, reputation blurring,
I didn't care.
I knew what I wanted from him and that it was in his nature to oblige me.
His lips curled like a jaguar, canines glittered.
The spark in his enormous pupils told me every line he could cross.
And he did.
I don’t remember how his lips felt on mine,
But I can still feel his hands on my throat.
How he laughed when I called him an *******
And again when I said I hated his laugh.
We fought before, during, and after I came.
My head spun.
He ruined me, rebuilt me.
And I left hastily the next morning,
Before I could ask, “So, what’s your name?”
Sep 9, 2014
Sep 9, 2014 at 8:16 PM UTC
I imagined a picture
of what I wished to be
Now I look in the mirror
and the picture I see
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 5:34 PM UTC
I wish I wanted to erase you,
Replace you,
Wipe of every trace of you.
Instead I pick and choose the memories,
Taking pieces as I please.
Leave those, take these.
I pretend to forget begging-
"Please, please don't leave"
And save the days you were there for me.
Playing god with my memory.
In the end it doesn't matter what I think is true,
The worst day of my life was the one I lost you,
I didn't just lose a lover,
But my best friend, too.
Mar 30, 2014
Mar 30, 2014 at 10:21 PM UTC
I don’t know when but one day past,
I preserved our love so it would last.
Jars of cherries and pears line the case
Our love hidden in its secret place.
Over time the room grew musty,
I used the pears and cherries thusly,
I left the room dim and quiet
Then soon forgot what I left inside it.
After weeks or months or years,
I find myself searching again in here.
I’ve forgotten what I lost,
But I will find it at any cost.
In a nook, I spot a single jar
Hidden in dust as thick as tar,
I approach it slowly without fear
Recalling now what I stored here.
I wiped the grunge and twisted the cap
Stopped a moment, taken aback.
Our love escaped and dissipated
I grab the air as if to save it.
I throw the grimy jar to the ground,
Burn it to guarantee it won’t be found.
I close the room and turn the lock,
My wooden heart begins to knock.
I light a match and don’t look back
Gasoline drowns the past.
The pears and cherries are now homeless
Thrown to the street without notice.
Oct 11, 2013
Oct 11, 2013 at 4:56 AM UTC
I wish, I wish for the words to write a poem,
That I could find the right verse to drive my point home.
I wish and I wait and push at the gate
Holding emotions and syllable notions
Deeper and further than bottoms of oceans.
It seems so quite silly that ideas in my head
Cannot be opened with pens or pencil-tip lead.
And the simplest worries paint layers so blurry
When I ponder the things each person has said,
That I lay and try to look far ahead.
Frustrated, elated, hated and jaded,
I cannot decide to which feeling I'm fated.
Any every day or two, out of the blue
A problem arises that seems newer than new.
Each time I imagine a poem is the solution
To what has become such a nuisance,
But I soon find I lack the presence of mind
To rhyme my words just so.
Sep 8, 2013
Sep 8, 2013 at 8:54 PM UTC
Slanting slits of streetlamp light illuminate the brand new night,
Old wet boots that slap the ground step down and down and down and down,
While passing buildings one by one with a walk as fast as some can run.
Voices ramble, tilt and amble, Left-side teen tribe fluorescent gamble.
A bottle message bellow smashes glass silence.
Then hidden hollow eyes brighten from this bizarre kindness,
Surprised to find the praise to be pure of heart and free selfish finesse.
Regrettable silence answers adoration due to doubt and disbelief,
And taken back in time the answer would be nearly as pure and brief.
But in the accidental inattention honorable intentions make a final mention,
Beckoning a nice night in a final sympathetic extension.
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 23, 2013 at 10:00 PM UTC
Empty and transparent,
****** shining greedy deathstone.
Made precious by demand rather than practical application.
Useless, Fruitless, just a nuisance.
Full only when the world around it glimmers light
At night, really not much of a sight
To see.
Secretly, somewhere
The diamond is me.
Mar 10, 2013
Mar 10, 2013 at 12:01 PM UTC
Remove the cold, clean refrigerator water
Poured into your mind to become a bit hotter.
Poison-less, diamond-faceted twinkling glitter
Internal pulse pounds, skitter and flitter.
Your propane personality flickers,
Internal heat hushed, the teapot snickers,
But now higher, higher grows your fire
Melting into you is all I desire.
Louder, louder screams the steam
Announcing inner worth below the outer gleam.
The superheated shouts squeaked out your teeth
Can't compare to the bubbling beauty buried beneath.
Trickle, pour, add some more
You're the tea that I adore.
Sometimes bitter, though discretely sweet
Just a little time and it's complete.
Closed eyed sips make my stomach glow
Melting my inner, internal snow.
And through and through, every batch I brew
I can't help falling a little more in love with you.
Feb 13, 2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC