I have my hands in my pocket
as I paced on the aisle.
Wondering what went wrong.
The stillness of the night gave me reprieve from the raging emotions that're trying to break free from my chest.
Thinking when it all went wrong.
I stopped in front of the old wooden door and stared at it.
Replaying in my mind how you turned your back and ran.
And I told myself, "Love isn't enough."
Feb 14, 2021
Feb 14, 2021 at 8:01 AM UTC
My cynical persona had shown,
Into the black oblivion it blown,
I looked up the golden light,
I found nothing in my plight
I have waited ‘till morn,
I watched the sun be born,
I prayed for it to come back,
I know faith is what I lack
I walked the windy road,
In a slump as if I carry load,
On a dune I sat,
I welcomed it with a pat
I sat wistfully,
Remembering the day vividly,
I found not my cynicism,
Conviction is my fanaticism.
Nov 21, 2020
Nov 21, 2020 at 12:09 AM UTC
Love. A word so simple yet its meaning eludes me. Like playing hide and seek. You know it's there, but you just can't seem to find it.
Or am I just thinking it? Maybe I am the one who's hiding from it. Maybe I am the one that it seeks.
Yet I remain hidden.
Because I am afraid.
Afraid not of love, but all that it entails.
I do not think it's wrong to hide from it. But until I am ready, I will keep myself tucked away.
I hope love waits.
I hope love finds its patience as I am not easily convinced.
Just give me time--just a brief respite.
Tomorrow, I will be the seeker.
Tomorrow, I will meet you halfway.
Nov 20, 2020
Nov 20, 2020 at 11:57 AM UTC
You shine like the stars,
But I wane like the moon.
You burn like a flame,
But I dive under the waters.
Unable to look at your beauty.
Unable to withstand your passion.
My emotions are like the raging sea during a storm,
Uncontrollable and unforgiving.
Lashing out at everything.
Ravaging all that it can.
You are the warm rays of the sun in the morning.
Calming and peaceful.
Bringing joy to those who behold you,
Saving all that it can.
And I do not deserve that. Just as you do not deserve my chaos.
But darling I hope that you do not tire.
I beg you to await me.
Let me search for my anchor, so that I may finally be able to say, "I'm home."
Nov 7, 2020
Nov 7, 2020 at 11:17 AM UTC
The way you pulled me into the kiss was electrifying.
You embraced me as if I would disappear--tight and passionate.
The affirmation it led me to believe was blissful. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
It was the scene playing in my mind as you try to worm your way out.
Out of this situation I can no longer control.
It was like I'm in a vortex, trying to reassert whatever control I have left.
Trying to swim ashore with all my might.
Trying to save whatever's left in the wreckage.
But it was all for naught.
I saw your face through eyes clouded with tears. Your face was full of confusion, anger and guilt.
I tried to pull you into my embrace but you pulled away.
You pulled away like I was a fiery coal you accidentally touched.
It was then that I got my affirmation: I wasn't enough.
I had to let go.
Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 12:41 PM UTC
Each night I look at the bright sky and think to myself: how nice would it be if I could just fly away?
Without fear, and without looking back.
And to leave everything behind. Without fear and shame.
To let to go of things tethering me--feelings I want to hide and thoughts I'd rather bury at the deepest recesses of my mind.
Thoughts so cluttered even I would drown in them: words, images, memories, and feelings.
I would rather escape them.
But all these are part of me; escape is futile.
I could embrace them.
I am not perfect, and I should accept that imperfection is part of me.
I should accept that chaos is not always bad.
I should accept that there is beauty in chaos.
I am chaotic.
I am beautiful.
Oct 30, 2020
Oct 30, 2020 at 12:41 PM UTC
I can't fathom how a night such as this can bring out the ghosts I've tried so hard to avoid.
Perhaps, they aren't ghosts at all.
Perhaps, I've just been under the sunlight in so long that I've forgotten.
They were silhouettes of cluttered thoughts and feelings I promised I would fix.
They were voices in the night trying to pull me back to reality.
But tonight, I closed my eyes and ignored the ghosts.
Tonight is about the moonlight I bask myself in.
Tonight, I smiled and waited for the dawn.
I waited 'til I felt the gentle touch of the warm sunshine on my skin.
I opened my eyes, and thought to myself: the ghosts can wait.
Oct 24, 2020
Oct 24, 2020 at 4:28 PM UTC
Dangerous thoughts are swirling inside my mind.
Beckoning to me; begging me to free them.
But I can't.
For if I do, I know that I will be, once again, submerged into a state of nothingness.
And I'm afraid that I will not be able to come back.
Sep 5, 2020
Sep 5, 2020 at 3:31 PM UTC
As my mind wandered
this savage street
filled with misery and regret
I sighed, as the unending
and relentless whirlwind of agony
is all but child's play compared
to what this seemingly calm but deep,
seething resentment exuding
from all the tired souls waiting to be saved,
waiting for their own minuscule area of repose.
Apr 1, 2020
Apr 1, 2020 at 2:10 PM UTC
You sat on a bench,
In a cold night,
You looked up to the sky,
then closed your eyes
Your little hands held on to the seat,
while you moved your legs back and forth
back and forth
while feeling the cold night air
Little by little,
snow began to fell
you smiled
and began to hum
You opened your eyes
and felt delight
as twinkling lights
filled your sight
In your eyes,
there wouldn't be anything better
In your mind, you thought
"I hope this lasts forever."
Dec 20, 2019
Dec 20, 2019 at 9:22 AM UTC