Tyres scratching the gravel
Skin taking over from the cool breeze
Clothes rubbing me back into existence
Everywhere I should feel warm
your cold heart stains
I can't lose you
Something I never had
Here we are
Dissolution
At the boundary that makes you you
And me chosen, without you
Yes, you gave birth to me
But guess what?
I had to rebirth me twice
Your love wasn't good enough
It turned out Mine was!
Sep 27, 2025
Sep 27, 2025 at 3:19 PM UTC
Spiders everywhere
Drowning in terror
Safety was never my birthright
Monkey mind corned into a frenzy
No space for my human to live in peace
Autonomy revoked
Voice muzzled
There's no more, me
can't wash away this dirtiness
Can't wait to numb my heart again
Aren't these thoughts mine?
Why do they hate me so?
Borrowed.
This is why we go to church.
To bleach out this brain stain
My DNA whispers demons
Collected through this body's amalgamation
They hide in the darkest nooks of the corridor of time
Waiting to encroach one more time
Oh, pure innocence.
I lament.
Sep 27, 2025
Sep 27, 2025 at 10:58 AM UTC
I can't speak the truth that feeds on my wounds
I can't say because I survive on his provision
My voice doesn't matter, who will value me
I weep inwards, salting this bitterness
I go crazy because I can never be truly free
I loop in his betrayal
To my heart
my mind
my soul
...
my body
I was evicted out of the only safe harbour I had
Grandma said no grandpa!
Our bodies and voices are being harvested by our own!
They are yours, for your pleasure only
At our expense you've found your glory
Inherited this suffering because you did anyway
To survive, we gaslight ourselves
I can't bare to continue to live with this truth
So I breathe from lies
I put on my glasses to bypass this irk
My kids need me
My kids need to survive this monster
Let me be brave
Let me be brave just enough to live on these lies
Because their lives depend on it!
Sep 25, 2025
Sep 25, 2025 at 4:17 PM UTC
Watered out into this cold, cruel world
My parents are still trying to survive
Can I blame them for wanting not to?
I don't either.
Want to lose what I love.
Home.
What's the cost if what I love harms me?
Isolate again insearch for home.
Where my soul can finally rest.
My human can thrive without love's conditions.
My mind loses its grip.
Who I had to be is no more.
My heart numb.
Overwhelmed.
Trying not to care.
Making myself invisible.
Still yearning for deep relief.
I've tried creating a home in falsehood
Belonging to causes & thoughtforms.
Soul is now their prize, imprisoned.
These mental bars amplify the internal echo.
My ancestors' screams through every DNA strand.
You can't fully experience what you don't give yourself first.
Overflow all that energy they want from me from within.
Protect our essence.
Your wholeness is home.
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 4:35 PM UTC
Why do i feel, nothing?
I can't, without things to prove I do exist
I do, become more just so I can feel something
I have become so removed from joy like a cyst
When can I be seen, valuable as I am?
Slow deaths mock souls, not worth the torture
I exist so I can fit into their hologram.
I create, talk, walk so I won't die in the future
All these rules of existence divorce my soul
I can play the game to rule in their world
At the expense of my inner peace with this toil
They cage my soul while I exist to be furled
What can we do, we are to be dirt once again?
Play hide & seek with me...count one to ten.
Sep 7, 2025
Sep 7, 2025 at 7:22 PM UTC
I am offended you felt safe enough to reapproach me.
I catered my full presence to connect with you fully.
I was ready to receive your fullness on a platter
But you spit on my time and heart.
I am offended you felt safe to have the audacity!
To keep fantasizing about my meandering wonders
To keep touching what requires your devotion to access
The spirit of siphons, I see you in Flesh
I am offended you want to exchange air with me
I need it cleaned up, purified by the worthy
Those who don't need a debate to see my humanity
Those who value my existence without saying a word
Yet you require me to play your games for just a text?
I am offended you're still lingering
Your words are fertilizer for the naive
Toilet paper for my yams
Predatory behavior is cool for the wounded
That makes you a carcass and I a vulture
I am offended you're still reading.
Get back on your knees
Beg for mercy!
Maybe I'll leave a trace you ever existed!
Sep 4, 2025
Sep 4, 2025 at 3:25 AM UTC
This baby wants her mama and papa too!
But, I had to stand between you and the heartbreak of not being fully met by my first loves.
For your own good!
You deserve to be loved well.
Even if it takes you away from them.
Even if you grieve.
The illusion of love doesn't feed your soul.
You can't relate with pretend ghosts.
I see you lil one,
envying those who have what you didn't.
It won't make the pain any sweeter.
Look at what you've become in spite of the eerie.
This is the only proof you exist.
devotion,
presence,
faith,
trust and,
unconditional love.
All the hues that made you, you
We all have to start somewhere to reflect our stories in their brilliant colors.
Some paintings are joyful,
Some are sad.
Doesn't make either less true.
This baby wants to give you Mama and papa.
I give you what they couldn't.
The best of me I can be.
Please let me in.
I want to love me.
Sep 1, 2025
Sep 1, 2025 at 4:11 PM UTC
It rose in me when I craved my parents' emotional support the most
Chaos, help me escape my emotional inflictions
Fear on with the beatings echoing in the background, the beating down below protected me
Year on, she was my safety next until I met Him
Here on, all my disrespect to Eros because clearer
Dear boss, don't judge me harshly. I was just trying to survive.
He rose to point back at what I fractured in order to belong
Ear rots when others shame my evolving ****** healing
Near us are those who reject her medicine
Hear us as we speak from the aliveness of this pulse in our bodies
Cheer us as I come back to love unconditionally this gear box
Steer us deeper my current of devotion
Erosion from self rejection can't touch us now
Aug 30, 2025
Aug 30, 2025 at 4:35 PM UTC
Hello current self,
It is past self.
Uhm, I was wondering why you denied my income request?
Past self, I'm offended by the fact you believe you're worth any of my dime!
Am I not you?
What have I ever done to you to deserve this treatment from you?
Funny you ask like you don't know.
Ok I'll say it. I'm ashamed of you!
Just look at the quality of your life, your results.
I'm embarrassed for you!
But aren't you successful because I exist?
Would you be who you are without my existence?
Ha! I'd rather I never did!
Yes, that's why I denied you...
Aren't I the validation and home you've been secretly seeking out there?
What do you mean??
You forget I feel everything when you double check your socials hoping a stranger proves you wrong for how you really feel about yourself.
Aug 27, 2025
Aug 27, 2025 at 12:48 AM UTC
From all the times my voice drowned in the noise
Struggling to not collapse
Failing to advocate for myself
Blaming myself for what wasn't in my poise
Strained to prove my existence
I became what I had to (be) to survive my parents
Finally I broke free from them
I'm bittersweet
this part that loved me so has come to its end
I don't have to drown in them anymore,
All thanks to your protection
When the little girl (in me) realized the full situation she incarnated into
The Gods who had gifted her life had Big Demons, Siphon and Gaslight.
They baptized her in the Enmeshment System
So she too could give birth to more fractured faces.
What place does the world have for a black sheep? When it's parents conditional love is traditional?
When her value was tainted by the inherited demons, why should she keep it traditional?
Can you hear her faint cries? "Hear me please!" Anyone! Don't let anyone landfill her with dark heep.
Don't expect her to show up as her best to be traditional!
Aug 19, 2025
Aug 19, 2025 at 7:36 PM UTC