people don’t understand that it wasn’t always bad
if there was never any good, i wouldn’t have stayed
i see you in the stars of the night sky, i hear you in the chords of songs
when i talk about you, people are frustrated i didn’t leave earlier
but they don’t know you like i did
it’s easier to talk about the bad than the good
it’s hard to talk about how you cooked for me, how we could lie in each other’s arms in silence and not feel out of place
i felt at home with you, with your family
i miss you
i think some part of me always will
you were my first love
but you were bad for me
i was bad for you
maybe in another life we could have made each other whole
instead breaking the other apart
Mar 31, 2020
Mar 31, 2020 at 5:24 AM UTC
there is no sound in the world more
that i cherish
than her laugh
there is nothing i love more
than to watch
as she smiles at me
to know that i
of all people
bring her joy
maybe i am
not so bad
after all
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 28, 2020 at 5:43 AM UTC
i wish i could divorce you
but you've made yourself at home
sitting on my couch
and sleeping in my bed
how
after all
can you divorce your own family
Jul 1, 2018
Jul 1, 2018 at 11:39 PM UTC
Words sink
Like rocks
They weigh me down
Like guilt
I’m stuck
Sinking
Drowning
Can anybody hear me?
The truth is heavy
But sometimes
I must lift up weights
To be strong
Once again
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 10:17 PM UTC
I had a butterfly net
Hoping to catch a friend
But little did I know
The net was full
Of holes
I had a fishing line
Hoping to catch a partner
But what I did not know
Was the bait
Had swum away
I had a wire trap
Hoping to catch a soulmate
But somehow
The tripwire
Was broken
So I gave up hunting
And packed my things away
Ready for the dust to settle
And for me to
Be alone
But instead of that
I myself got trapped
In your loving arms
And sweet soft smile
I am caught
Jun 5, 2018
Jun 5, 2018 at 10:15 PM UTC
I am 14
I go to school
I do my times tables
I write my essays
I do my homework
I get shot
I am 14
I’m stressed about school
I’m worried about my grades slipping
I’m nervous when talking to my crush
I’m anxious when speaking in front of the class
I’m scared that the sound I heard was a madman with a gun
I am 14
I am confused
I am frustrated
I am enraged
I am scared
I am hiding under my desk trying not to scream
I am 14
I hate school
But for the wrong reasons
I hate it because people have died in my halls
I hate it because every sound I hear is a gun being shot
I hate it because I’m scared I’m going to die
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 12:07 AM UTC
I loved you
I loved your laugh
And your smile
I loved how whenever I was sad
You’d hold me for a while
I thought you loved me
And the adventures I planned
How I made you tea
And wrote you poems
For each and every anniversary
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe I made it up
And it was all in my mind
But I know how you made me feel
And I know that I don’t want to leave that behind
Please
Don’t leave
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 12:07 AM UTC
He is kind, holds me lovingly
His hands are soft against my skin
He whispers kindness in my ears
His words are like honey, sickeningly sweet
He loves me
His hands are rough and strong
Wrapped tightly around my throat
He screams hatred in my face
His words like daggers in my soul
He loves me not
He kisses me gently, apologies on his tongue
His lips draw me in, he is the lion to my lamb
He says he needs me, that he wants me
I want him too
He loves me
His words are slurred and slow
His eyes are bright with rage
He slashes a broken bottle through the air
His hands bruising the skin around my wrist, I cannot escape
He loves me not
He washes the blood from my hair
Massaging my bruised skin
He cries to me for forgiveness
He wants a second chance
He says he loves me
He throws me against the wall
His body pulsating with fury
His words of hate now turn to threats
He is scaring me
He loves me not
I cry within the bathroom
I hear him banging on the door
He is screaming to be let inside
But I’m scared he will hurt me
He loves me
Is this what love is
To be scared in your own home
To tremble at the sound of footsteps
Coming up the stairs
He loves me not
It is not love
Because
He does not love me
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 12:06 AM UTC