kim-davis
American
17 year old visual art student at an arts high school, I like to divulge myself into every form of art that I can. My Hellopoetry isn't so much about artistic expression to me as it is constructing and getting out my rants in a creative way. I'll typically have really optimistic pieces or horribly pessimistic ones, there really isn't any middle line, and sometimes the more emoted i am the less artistic my poems will be. Regardless, hope you guys enjoy! Feel free to message me<3
It's that time of the year
where I am succumbed in solitude
where everything surrounding me
is tied to love and affection
where i leave home and see happy families
go to school and see seemingly perfect friendships
and barely escape without seeing infatuated couples
It's that time of the year
when i recognize the world
for the glory it could hold
when every individual that fights
for the other 9 months of the year
can be at peace with their rival
where cheer and community are ever so present
It's that time of the year
when i realize
that all i have is coffee and a computer
that the only thing that i can call my own
is a 15 inch screen with no interesting content on it
a back-back weighed down with a number of textbooks
and a camera with no subject to photograph
It's that time of the year when i realize
that the only person who I've ever aspired to be
who I could spend every second of every day for my entire life with
has been inside the earth for six years
and that no one has taken his place
no one is that important to me
or seems to care about me to his extent
It's that time of the year when i realize
that I have spent years trying to get friends by being myself
and haven't gotten a single hit
that I am not invited to parties or sleepovers
or even the simplest company
like going to a movie and making jokes
or walking together and having a deep conversation
It's that time of the year
when I don't care about school
because the american education system
is about passing, not about learning
it's just an obstacle every child must overcome
before being set free
that time, when school can no longer be my escape
because even there, I am alone
It's that time of the year
where I am constantly reminded of Him
where I am teased with the idea of seeing someone like him
where I actually get to visit his family, my family
where my niece's chemo
is making me remember
the second I saw his bald head for the first time
It's that time of the year
when my life consists of nothing
where every person around me
complains about what they have
when they don't realize
what it's like to not be spoken to
past 3:45pm, when school is let out, every day
when peers complain about their parents
not giving them what they want
when mine will tell me to leave
after a second of my voice
when I haven't heard the words "I love you"
from ANYONE but those who pity me
for months.
It's that time of the year
when I am engulfed in solitude
forced to watch the world around me
relish in holiday cheer
family, friendships, love,
things I haven't known, or felt, for so long
It's that time of the year
when all I have to do
is sit, alone, in my room
and do that which I typically know not to allow myself:
think.
Nov 7, 2014
Nov 7, 2014 at 10:52 PM UTC
She could stand alongside the Gods,
with her Greek and imposing figure.
She seemed to know the true meaning of grace,
grazing asphalt with her presence.
Her gentle legs brought upon silent admiration,
her cinched waist accentuating hidden curves,
it was as if her body held a soft prowess,
dominating the art of anatomy.
This statuesque beauty held no shame in her step,
she was rhythmic and lyrical,
I couldn't keep my eyes off.
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014 at 3:15 PM UTC
Her aura froze into my mind and possessed me,
when I saw her I saw nothing but love,
I would pour my soul out at her feet,
And could drink her attention for an eternity.
I caught her one day,
myself embodied by lust,
and truly analyzed her reflection,
She was every bit the Greek goddess I'd envisioned,
but without any spirit.
She was no warrior, no goddess controlling any aspect of the universe around her,
Her majestic locks were sun-kissed,
Her smile as luminescent as the moon,
Her physique truly touched by the gods she walked amongst,
she could compare to no other mortal being,
but beyond the aesthetic poetry that she embodied,
she was as good as darkness.
She seemed to have stolen my life, my light,
taken away the sun, the stars, and the moon from me,
she engulfed them to create such beauty,
but having done so, there was no light left to shine upon her.
She was Medusa disguised as Aphrodite.
She knew the language of love, but not the content.
She turned my carcass to stone, so that she could steal my light,
And under her spell, i could do nothing but let her.
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014 at 3:08 PM UTC
She was as mesmerizing as a galaxy that night.
Moons shattered through the window to embrace her every step.
Her pale skin could breathe in light,
Illuminating her, and filling every pore.
Having stolen the sun and the moon and stars,
she could only be described as heaven sent.
And I was ready to climb into a rocket for a glimpse of her.
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014 at 3:01 PM UTC
Seeing your face does not mean much to me anymore
you are your own person after all, you are not his spitting image.
But your presence is enough to revive his spirit, if only for a short while
and once again I see all of the joy he made me feel
I see all of the laughs, the hugs,
and more than anything I see what my future could have been.
You make me think of him being proud of me
and leave this ****** bittersweet emotion laced into my blood.
But when I leave you, my perspective shifts.
I see all of the loss, I see his bones crumbling and his hair falling,
I see all of his pain all over again,
and recognize all that I've done that would disappoint him.
I remember that he can't be there at any milestone of my life
and how much I still need him.
I see all of those faces, over and over, promising me he'd be proud
with pity in their eyes all over again.
When you leave me, I lose you,
and I lose him all over again.
You are in no way his spitting image,
I'm not sure how similar you both are anymore, actually.
But I can't see you without seeing him.
Without thinking of nothing but him.
And I can't let you leave
without losing him all over again.
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 11:46 PM UTC
I'm drowning myself,
i tied myself down,
dropped the anchor
and let it take me away
the deeper it pulls me
the darker it gets
i am fully emerged
in my past
and now that i want to get out of it
I have no choice but come to terms with the fact that
i did this to myself
I've got no where to go
but to keep sinking
into the depths;
it's dark here.
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 6:45 PM UTC
I am a Hermit Crab.
I hide from the world,
curl up inside my shrinking shell,
anything but to see the light,
anything but face the world,
If you try to reach me,
i'll pinch
and every now and then
when the world is closing in around me
i'll make a run,
and find a new shell to hide in.
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 7:04 PM UTC
I've given up on you.
We used to be so obnoxiously close.
I would have given up anyone,
in fact i did, i gave up everyone for you
for that period of time.
I was your comfort
and to know
that I made you happy
was my comfort.
I loved you, with a chunk of my soul at the time,
it took so long to let you in,
but perhaps it was
the reservation
that kept me coming.
Sometimes I wonder if there is anything
underneath your skin.
You are an onion, whose layers
I've never been able to peel.
A lab experiment, i could never complete.
I can observe you, and make a hypothesis
about how you're feeling, what you're doing
but it's so insanely hard to try to invite you
back into my life
when you've shut yourself off so long.
So truth be told, i don't think of you very often anymore.
It's just every now and then,
when you message me to ask
for my password
or when i'm drowning myself
in the past
when i come across you
that i just get really sad,
because i realize that no matter how much effort i put into you
no matter how much digging
or how many rants i invited you to vent
or how much time i invested in you,
I never really got to know you.
None of us did.
I still wonder, what goes on in your head,
is it lack of motivation, like myself,
easing yourself into depression because
you don't know what's wrong with your brain
or should i know more,
should i worry about you?
Because I do, believe me,
I've spent so much time worrying for you
But i never get anywhere,
and I don't know you, not even in the slightest sense now.
So I'd like to believe
that I've given up on you.
But I know that
deep down i still have that reserved spot in me
that wants to understand you.
Jan 29, 2014
Jan 29, 2014 at 9:04 PM UTC
There's some unsaid comfort i feel
when i touch you
as if having one finger on you
heals me temporarily
and i can't help but smile
knowing that even such a friendly
brushing shoulders or
using one another as an arm rest
will warm my soul for a little while
oh, how I've missed you,
my antidote.
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 4:07 PM UTC
What gets me is that all you ever talk about is pain.
Nothing that comes out of your mouth
is not a little selfish insult,
a deep sigh that burns your disapproval
and lack of happiness- lack of soul -
down everyone's throat
Never has nothing to do with money,
your lack of it
even though you waste it
when you have it
Always words of inability
i can't do this
i can't do that
of your selfish nature
nobody ever does anything
i do everything around here
i pay for everything
nothing is ever
full of love
or happiness
or true devotion,
true support
true appreciation
true ... life
in this family
it's all been lost
since our shelter fell
our rock, our home
My spirit.
Dec 29, 2013
Dec 29, 2013 at 6:21 PM UTC