Built on an unsteady foundation
Rocked back and forth by emotions
Occasionally catching a steady rhythm or two
Keep at bay
Every time I think of you
Nothing seems to go away.
I pace back and forth
Only to realize
I’m still in the same place
Hoping for myself to change
So I run away
Only to still feel the same pain.
Get my life together
Is all I want to do
But sometimes I feel like
That’s not even plausible.
Attract who you are
Wondering why you keep selecting all these dudes
Only to wake up and realize
They’re in the same place as you.
Misery loves company
That’s one hell of a statement
It’s as real as it gets
So I become complacent.
Tell myself to never settle
For less than what I deserve
But for what’s it worth
I think I deserve someone as broken
As myself.
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 5:52 PM UTC
The thoughts are gone
My mind at ease
I haven’t noticed this kind of peace
Stressed but blank
Worried about moving up in rank
Get my head on straight
Stop ******* up so much
That would come in clutch
I know I’m not perfect
Lord knows my imperfections
Weak moments are secured
Feelings on standby
No time for that
No more handouts
You work for what you want
You get what you give
You’ll always be better than baby ***
Moving on to a sailor
From bootcamp to A school
They’ll try their hardest to make
A soldier out of you
Little do they know
You’ve been in plenty of battles
Win and lost many fights
Drink to the foam
Heal your battle wounds
Encouraged to see another day
Support by the thousands
Don’t let anyone down
April 6th is your day
You’ll really have that crown.
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 6:53 PM UTC
My fear was
Having all my hard work
Lost.
Destroyed.
Reversed.
Feels like I’ve been cursed
With you stuck in my head
All I do is dread
I miss you but
I hate you
I can’t seem to escape you.
I throw shade on your name
You’ve been acting so lame
Acting like you don’t love me
And what we had wasn’t real.
I get the feel
That you moved on
So I push forward too
Only sometimes to rue
Leaving you
Or loving you
Depends on my mood.
Everywhere I go
We put a stamp on it
I know everything you love
And I try to run away from it
I ran so far only to end in my starting place
So here I am
Writing about you.
Loving you
And hating you.
Can’t get away from you
Look forward to the day I do.
Jun 23, 2018
Jun 23, 2018 at 4:22 PM UTC
I feel the fear holding me back.
To grasp it
Hold it
Take control of it
That's the goal.
Embrace it
Use it as I'm raging
Empower it
In all the right directions
Increase my will
Heighten my senses
Give it my strength
As it will do the same.
Then
And only then
Will you become invincible
Higher than average
Who you are meant to be
Don't be scared to be free.
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 9:11 AM UTC
So precious is life
Until it's taken away
Whether by age or disease
Death is a shadow
Hiding in the trees
Waiting to wrap it's claws
Around your soul
Steal you away from Mars, oops I mean Earth
Why do we grieve
When we're supposed to celebrate
Why do we celebrate
When we're supposed to grieve
We hold our composure for the most part
Then suddenly, it's like we're a work of art
We E and rage
X
PLODE
Until we don't know ourselves
That's death c r e e p i n g, l u r k i n g
Amongst the shadows
Waiting to send you back from once you came!
Reminding you
What's here today
Can be gone tomorrow
Then we'll feel the sorrow, the hurt, the regret
That's just more motivation
To push to enjoy every moment
Take in every breath
But you're living is not the same
as others
We're searching for a connect
Reasons to tell us why
How could we be filled with light,
Yet left in the dark?
By faith in Him
And a l l that we must endure
For
Death hides in your footprints
Just waiting for that day
To allure you away...
...
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 2:37 PM UTC
Have you ever met someone
Made up of everyone
Everything she's ever encountered
So consumed with that make up
She doesn't know her true self
She can search far and deep
But the memories seem to be in a keep
Close enough to see but too far to reach
Else, they never existed beneath
Peel back her layers of skin
You'll find nothing within
For everything lives in her head
The dread,
The dreams,
The seams
That burst
She must be cursed
She won't give in
That is all I know.
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 14, 2017 at 11:32 PM UTC
Pause,
Along the lines of,
Universal time.
Suppress the hands of the minute and hour
Entrap my thoughts in a cage
PAUSE
Make sure to double lock them
And throw them away.
Don't forget to burn the key,
I really need a second to breathe
PAUSE
Perhaps, a couple seconds more
Understanding me, the forever misunderstood
Stamped on my forehead,
Engraved on my skin.
PAUSE
Can you read me now?
Now that I'm,
drowning in seconds,
engulfed in minutes,
gone for hours.
Yet, time never paused....
Apr 22, 2017
Apr 22, 2017 at 5:37 PM UTC
Having these thoughts
Of why?
Why do I have to publicize myself as ****
So a boy can sweep me off my feet?
So I can have thousands of followers,
Who tell me all the time I look beautiful
With all these
false lashes, fake weaves, cake on my face
Why is this beautiful to you?
And why am I shamed if I don't do it?
I'm sorry if I'm "old school",
But I'll happily prance around in your long t-shirts.
Make up free,
Wind kissing my scalp as my natural hair blows free,
Sun radiating off my skin,
Melanin issued by the Gods.
Thank the Gods I'm just me.
Carefree, eventually.
Until then I'm part one versus part two.
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 17, 2017 at 5:44 PM UTC
Numbers are real
Yet, untouchable.
The universe in my hand
Literally, unseeable.
My thoughts,
they’re real
But seemingly, unbelievable.
Your skin against mine,
Ha! improbable.
Longing for you,
The impossible.
I’m waiting for you,
That’s undeniable.
Your feelings?
That’s questionable.
Sep 28, 2016
Sep 28, 2016 at 3:39 PM UTC
You took my hand and there it was; I saw it with my own eyes. Higher than the satellites, your touch sparked our vision, sparked our bond. I watched the electricity flow from your end to mine. It was a tiny universe, about as wide as our faces and as long as my gaze was from yours. Time stood frozen for half a second. Through our connection, through our touch, through our gaze, through that half a second, I witnessed our lives intertwined and how beautiful it was going to be. You questioned me, "What’s wrong?” I responded, “Nothing has ever been more wrong since I met you, but that’s the thing. You are my wrong right choice. You are the energy I’ve touched before and in such wrong versions of you and me, it’s never been such a right choice. Touch my hand and gaze with me again.”
— Excerpt from a book I will write
Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 2:34 PM UTC