This inconsistency haunting me
Visibly losing my mind
I can’t sleep
Without worrying about a lack of attention
Like I’m giving myself permission
To live in a mental prison
Shackled by insecurity
Feeling like a charity
Asking for a crumb of recognition
As if your existence is what I’ve been missing
So why should I give my loyalty
When all I get is anxiety
Wondering, if you love me
Then when will you show me?
Where one man doesn’t, another man will
I’m finding the will to give someone else the chance
To take this dance of love
And sweep me up off of my feet
The way that you never did
Please step down, so someone else can step up
I’m not your backup for when you **** up
Everything else good in your life
Showed your true colors
Before you could discover
My love that you didn’t deserve in the first place
Thank you, universe,
Saving me from the curse
Of a love that would always have me questioning
Is this my destiny
I have a tendency
To fall in love too easily
Leaving me in pieces
To pick up alone
I’m too grown
To play these childish games
Matters of the heart are something I
Am smart about
So if you are doubting me,
Then you don’t deserve me
You’ll only hurt me
When you can’t love me back the same
I’m no stray, I don’t beg for love
And I will walk away
If I’m made to feel like a mistake, love
Nov 4, 2024
Nov 4, 2024 at 4:18 PM UTC
Lessening my intensity for your comfortability
Goes against maintaining the truest version of me
It’s not fair to be put on the back burner
Until you’re ready to start cooking
You shouldn’t be looking for a meal
That you aren’t ready to come prepared for
Browsing recipes is one thing
But to buy the ingredients
That you’re going to let spoil is another
I’m having trouble
Deciphering what you want from me
Intimidated by my curiosity
I’m waiting for an atrocity or animosity
You see, I’m not convinced that you can handle me
Can’t call yourself a chef if all you do is prep
But never take the chance to make the meal
Can’t pour from an empty glass, can’t eat from an empty plate
Maybe this is fate starving you
Of all the things that you thought you wanted
Nov 4, 2024
Nov 4, 2024 at 4:17 PM UTC
Not a man of many words
But you hold my attention
The way you hold my heart
Lovingly
I longingly gaze at you
Can't turn away from you
Why would I want to?
Your smile sets me free
A safe space where I can be
All of me, you see me
For all that I am
Judgment free
Accepting the parts of me that I usually keep hidden
You've risen the bar for those that follow
Sick of swallowing down pain
That no one else tries to understand
You understand me
Cuddle the pain away
You're my sunshine on a rainy day
The clouds intimidated by the way you shine
A light illuminating my darkest rooms
You make room in your heart
For the abundance of love that I have for you
No reluctance in satisfying me
It’s gratifying in ways I never expected
Never neglected, the security of your arms
Keeping me safe from harm’s way
You have a way of making my day
Shine so much brighter
I feel lighter
In the weight of your spirit
You can hear it in my voice
Feel it in my touch
Time with you is never enough
Always craving more of you
It’s true, I’m falling for you
Nov 4, 2024
Nov 4, 2024 at 4:15 PM UTC
I am a priority
And will go where I am made to feel like one
No more coming undone
For someone who built my walls in the first place
My energy is to be earned
I am to be yearned for
The answer to a prayer
Not found elsewhere
I’m rare
No nightmare, a daydream
You won’t want to wake up from
My time is divine
Like the sun, I shine
And some people are going to get burned
Just from admiring my presence
I’m a present
Wrapped in surprises
It’s no disguise
I’m a blessing
Refreshing
There’s no suppressing
The way that I love
It’s loud
Like the roaring of thunder
Like the gun of a hunter
Like the proud mom in the stands at the high school football game
My love is transcendent
A gravitational force
I will never short myself to fit in
When I was born to stand out
When I was raised to honor my authenticity
And find my stability, independently
I’m not desperate for love
When I love myself in abundance
So excuse my reluctance
When you haven’t proven that you’re going to love me right
I might give you a chance
To be the man I said I’ve been looking for
The one to adore me, to treat me like a queen
If I’m not the first thought in your mind in the morning,
I don’t want to be on your mind at all
Won’t be at your beck and call
If you don’t see that I’m a priority
I know what I bring to the table
And if all you come with is a plate,
You’re going to hate when you leave starving
I’m a 5 course meal by my own **** self
I don’t need anyone else to tell me how delicious I am
I feed myself first
Immersed in my own divine aura
I gracefully decline any invitation
That doesn’t pour back into me
Why should I feed a hungry man
Who doesn’t know how to feed himself?
No more benefit of the doubt when all you’ve given is doubt
I’m about to bow out
Not waiting for you to figure out how to love me
I refuse to play that game
Came too far to backtrack now
A setback is a setup for a comeback
And I came back to take care of my own self
And no one can take that from me
Because I’m a priority
Aug 16, 2024
Aug 16, 2024 at 4:03 PM UTC
I miss the way our limbs fit like puzzle pieces
Time freezes
And the space where our bodies meet
Sacred
Cocooned in the comfort of your covers
Your hands discover the outline of my curves
The nerves have worn off and I just feel
Peace
Like a piece of home
A warmth of familiarity
Protected from the gravity of the world
Goosebumps run down the length of my spine
Looking into my eyes
So divine
I manifested this moment,
Our lips a single heartbeat from one another
The anticipation stolen from my breath
You might just be the death of me
Or maybe a new beginning
I’m beginning to tear down the walls
Of past promises and disappointment
That others built inside of my temple
So please be gentle
And understand my uncertainty
I am certain that you are capable of loving me
I just need you to prove it
Aug 15, 2024
Aug 15, 2024 at 9:06 AM UTC
Until the morning
I will be dreaming of us
And what we will be
Fire in your eyes
Igniting my heart ablaze
I can't turn away
My heart trembling
Like the ground beneath my feet
Call it a heartquake
Dreaming is easy
Being awake...not so muc
My heart aches for you
To say I miss you
Is a vast understatement
I can't seem to breathe
Communication
Something you severely lack
******* cowardice
I opened my heart
Vulnerability *****
I just wanted love
Manifesting peace
To run throughout my being
A broken heart, healed
Healing comes in waves
I'm learning to love again
Better, without you
Aug 15, 2024
Aug 15, 2024 at 9:00 AM UTC
Lavish in the moments,
Take each day with gratitude,
As though you’ve been waiting for this,
To tell the sunrise “thank you”.
Don’t let the past control you,
Don’t let your thoughts grow dim,
Look back at the mirror and smile,
For who you are is not who you’ve been.
Sep 10, 2019
Sep 10, 2019 at 2:17 PM UTC
My thoughts are wiped away
Like crushed bugs by windshield wipers
That never had a chance at a full life
Wiper fluid cleansing the surface
Only to find itself ***** again
There’s a war going on inside of me
My heart and my head on two sides of the same coin
Neither willing to compromise
Sick of selling myself lies
That aren’t even believable anymore
I’m choking on pain
I’ve been ingrained to think that misery
Has a permanent home with me
As though it has hung up its clothes in my closet
Left a toothbrush on the bathroom sink
And a ***** glass on the countertop
I can’t stop thinking that she is my forever companion
They say that misery loves company
But I’m finding that solitude yields warmth
A cocoon of loneliness where I’m buried so deep
That no one else can see it
I just want someone else to see it
Too much pride to ask for help
Too independent to take it
I’m breaking
Hell, maybe I’m already broken
A mirror in sharp pieces
My reflection staring back blankly
As I try to glue myself back together
There’s a war going on inside of me
Choosing the better of two evils is impossible
This misery almost comical
As I try to claw it from my skin
Leaving only scars to remain
Lipstick stains on the glass in the kitchen
Hanging up a shirt to rid the wrinkles
My sweet misery’s toothbrush is still wet
With tears from last night’s battle with death
All reminders that my shadow is always there
The crushed bugs on my windshield a reminder
That death is inevitable
And life only measurable
By the number of breaths that we take
And not how many times the windshield wipers
Try to erase my journey
Aug 6, 2019
Aug 6, 2019 at 4:22 PM UTC
Take me higher than I’ve ever been
Show me what it’s like to love someone’s body
As much as their being
Prove to me that passion exists
In the places we least expect
I want to feel the syncopation of your heartbeat as it’s pressed against my bare chest
Lost in the rhythm of my moans
I’m needing to feel every inch of your skin on mine
Your hot breath against my neck
Your scattered sighs in my ear
Your teeth grazing my thigh in ecstasy
I want your tongue to tease my *******
Hardening them in between licks
As I beg you not to stop
Drunk on euphoria
My hands exploring the indentation of your hip bones,
Carefully caressing the line of your waistband
Feeling your breath shorten
Anticipating my next move
Create a fire between my thighs
Let it burn you as I yearn for you
Heat sweating off of your body onto mine
Like dew in the early morning
Like a warm summer shower
That you can’t help but dance in
The cadence of our bodies moving as one
Our limbs contorting in positions I didn’t know existed
The curves of my body made to fit yours so perfectly
Ravishing the spiral of your movements
Wishing this could last just a little longer
You say you want to unravel me
Unravel my knots that others have been too afraid to attempt
Like necklace chains discarded for being too tangled
Accept the parts of me that have been neglected
My maze of emotions and ******* up ideas of intimacy
Show me that I don’t need *** to know love
Now, don’t get me wrong
I lay awake and touch myself at night to the very thought of you
******* my body the way that you **** my brain
The highest dose of an aphrodisiac that I have encountered
Deflowering my garden of these unspoken thoughts
And planting a seed of fulfillment inside of me
Nourish it with mental stimulation
Undivided attention
I want you to make me bloom
My sweet nectar filling your mouth
Breathing life into your lungs like
A butterfly hatching from its cocoon
Metamorphosis
Whatever this is I don’t want it to stop
I feel every inch
Of your interest
Examining the parts of me
That I usually keep hidden
Chained in a prison of love
Bound by shackles of exaltation
This invasion is much deeper than just my body
Show me that I’m worthy
Before I beg for mercy
At the sound of your belt
At the stinging of your palm
That your harm is caused
With love, first
And only reinforced through my temple
Enter my dwelling
Thankful
Bow before my lady garden
And watch the seeds that you have planted
Blossom
But remember not to pluck my flowers
For when you do so,
I cease to be what you love
And love is about appreciation, not possession
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 3:26 PM UTC
Sick of settling for flowers
W i l t i n g
Crumbling beneath my fingertips
Before they had the chance to really live
What’s the point?
May 16, 2019
May 16, 2019 at 3:38 PM UTC