The Spirit within me is alive -
I experience this physical body
But I am connected to a world beyond this one-
It’s expansive and brings me to tears
I posses a remembering - a yearning for home
I long to rest my head down and be held in eternal love
I let my heart expand - the world breaths as my lungs fill
This tree, and all the trees, look out for me
God himself embodies me, and you
I ask, how do I pray?
God responds - this is prayer - I am with you
Aug 24, 2025
Aug 24, 2025 at 1:44 PM UTC
There is a cycle where the veil lifts
The material is distant
And the spiritual is tactile
God feels closer
I know this unseen world
My body convulses with surges
Energy shoots through me
Heavy tears drop
I imagine them quenching dry red earth
Falling through cracks
There’s a direct line
A connection
God is speaking to me
I feel a longing for home
For the earthly dirt
For the higher realm
Before I bleed
I’m sensitive to this density
Energy feels weighty
Visceral, almost visible
I’m reminded of my spirit
My own wild nature, tamed
But the essence of my heart roars
My feral body sings to the beat of nature
I bleed like the red earth
I am tribal. I am feral
I stand with and part of creator
Jul 15, 2025
Jul 15, 2025 at 4:22 PM UTC
It was never you
Who brought the magic of my heart to life
That cantered like a band of wild horses
Through spring meadows at sunrise
Nature’s chorus cheered me on
But I put my strength in your disguise
You rode the wonders of my coattails
I made excuses for your lies
But here I am in wonderment
That dependency in you grew
When once again you left me
Your words left me black and blue
You can never take the power
Of my wild, open heart
Who steers the good and bad with grace
Every time you depart
Apr 21, 2025
Apr 21, 2025 at 6:25 AM UTC
Fall, fall
Fall into your own divinity
Seep into the sacredness of your soul
Your cells are dancing with the universe
Particles of you entangle with the creator
Release those tears
They are cleansing the energy of worlds
This moment is alchemy
When you connect with the supreme
You’re feeling your own majesty
Fall, fall
There is nowhere to fall
But home
Apr 21, 2025
Apr 21, 2025 at 4:42 AM UTC
Oh October’s Hunter Moon
Largest on this night
Teach me what you know
The universe is fast
Yet nowhere feels like home
I saw you rise
Like a setting sun
White and yellow
As the night begun
I force to break our gaze
But wisdom’s in your presence
With a calming of my soul
I long to linger in your essence
I love you at your fullest
I love you when you’re barely found
I know you’re always there
Powerful,
Profound
Oct 18, 2024
Oct 18, 2024 at 2:34 AM UTC
Have I wasted years based on a fantasy of unprocessed fears, of daddy issues, and tears
I tear myself to pieces, my stomach is tied in knots, my mind is really broken, and I seem to cry a lot
I’m so desperate for your validation, for your kindness and your love, but the novelty of me soon wears off, and again I’m crushed.
This time will be different, we’ve come so far, we’ve grown so much.
We also made agreements that toxicity was done.
But who the hell was I fooling
Starved of chaos for a moment too long
You feast on destruction, dramatise this new production, which turns out is just a reconstruction, of the time before, and the one before that, I can go back and back.
Am I so ******* up for thinking things had changed
I’m scared to trust my thoughts I think my feelings are insane.
The venom in your voice, the stab of every vicious word
How is this the person who soothed me when I hurt.
How can I trust when you switch on me like that
The welcome mat is pulled and it’s into combat
I am the enemy. I must be destroyed
Just like Andy playing with his toys
Story has it, it will eventually become white noise
This scene has been repeated so much my head is sore
Blame, and blame, and blame, some more.
This time you scared me more than ever before
I’ve seen your darkness and still loved you to your core
But now I’m really sick
I don’t know who I am and my self esteem has dipped.
I don’t remember my smile, I live in ignorant denial.
I’m pathetic. I’m ashamed. I’m weak
Yet I continue to dial your number
Over, and over, and over, and over
Every click to voicemail chips away at my self-worth
I sob my precious heart out, longing to matter to you, coz no one else will do.
I put you on a pedestal and I really don’t know why
Because you’re emotionally abusive and you’ve made me want to die.
But you’ve also made me laugh, you’ve soothed me with your song, you sung me lullabies
And when anxiety has become too strong, you’ve got me to breathe along
You’ve held me and you’ve stroked my hair
You’ve reached out to touch me and to check that I am there
I believed we had an unparalleled connection
Was it self deception? Was I blind and naive?
I know love isn’t easy but should it bring you to your knees?
It’s certainly brought me closer to god
Coz I’ve begged and prayed like a hungry dog
I have no idea where I have gone
Sep 20, 2024
Sep 20, 2024 at 9:28 PM UTC
I long for a love I’m yet to meet
‘Cause the one I’ve lost has broken me
Love lies bleeding in my hands
Of memories and unfilled plans
My heart aches and my mind is numb
I’ve cried all night to the rising sun
My endless tears fall like Aprils rain
Mend my broken heart, I pray
The pain it just won’t go away
Melancholy floods my veins
I needed you to feel this pain
I needed you
Clinging to hope, to “one day, “soon”
I cemented my wounds with false promise
One day, some day, well, that didn’t come
We didn’t make it to the seaside
There was no more laughter
There was no more fun
I waited
I waited
The telephone doesn’t ring now
Your voice is left inside my head
With all your broken promises
With all the things you said
I waited
I waited
Jun 30, 2023
Jun 30, 2023 at 7:40 PM UTC
It’s zero hundred hours on the 1st of July
I’m alone with the truth of silence
There is something to be said for stoicism, for getting on
My soul longs to release a river of tears
I focus on the light patterns
Across my dated artex ceiling
Rays of light like sunbeams
Through my 70s style, wicker light shade
I wonder about the lonely households
All the broken hearts
The ones regretting
And the ones taking it all for granted
Melancholy surrounds me like an aura
And spreads under my skin
Jun 30, 2023
Jun 30, 2023 at 7:30 PM UTC
There you go, moving in the wind
I see you, under the Red Kite's wings
I feel your shadow, I hear you sing
There you are, among constellations of the open sky
In eye contact of passers by
Even in the tears I cry
I watch you, in the rug of fallen leaves
You're there, even when I don't believe
You hold me when I find release
I feel you, in the presence of the peeling bark
In the starkness of the lonely dark
Dear Spirit, you're in my heart
Dec 9, 2021
Dec 9, 2021 at 12:24 AM UTC
"I love you"
she says silently before typing the words to you
She loves you
like long summer days catching grasshoppers in her hands
Like sneaking over the neighbours fence to watch tadpoles morphing into frogs
Like the adventures of the warm dusty ground, looking for lizards
She loves you like her childhood self-belief
The matter of factness that collecting cans from the street and selling handmade things
Would change the world, would save the dolphins and the whales
From Japan, Norway and captivity
She loves you certainly, like the trees she climbed
High, scary
to prove she was stronger than fear
Like the Amber jewel of tree sap and the earthly smell of pine
And things that mattered
She loves you because you have helped her remember herself
Mar 15, 2021
Mar 15, 2021 at 7:00 AM UTC