I have overcome my demons,
The struggles I once faced.
I am a new person,
With thicker skin.
In time;
Words became my comfort.
The scars are just lines,
From blades in the past.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 10:31 PM UTC
I guess it goes to show,
There is a light.
I went away.
Mentally,
Not physically.
I needed to help myself,
I did.
I've been long gone.
Lost.
So tell me what to do.
How have I lived?
I haven't hurt in months.
Yet I want too.
Mar 8, 2014
Mar 8, 2014 at 10:14 PM UTC
Watching myself,
I laugh, but feel nothing.
I smile, but it doesn't meet my eyes.
I cry, and everything comes out.
Watching you,
You laugh at my pain.
You smile at my suffering.
You cry at my death.
Watching everyone,
Laugh at the girl who died.
Smile at her pictures.
Cry at her stone.
Nov 13, 2013
Nov 13, 2013 at 9:06 PM UTC
How can I recover?
I just can't.
I need my blades,
***** five months.
I am a failure,
In everyone's eyes.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 9:13 AM UTC
You controlled me,
For at least eight months.
You made my life hell,
When everyone was trying to fix it.
I blamed myself,
Hell, I still do.
You are a psychopath,
I tried to fix you.
Obviously I couldn't,
Now I live with this Anxiety.
I live in constant fear.
I never thought someone,
Would do this.
Someone would treat me so bad.
You're just like my father.
I guess I couldn't help you.
I should have helped myself first.
Sep 30, 2013
Sep 30, 2013 at 8:36 AM UTC
I'm alive
I'm recovering.
Slowly,
But I am.
I am winning,
The battle I've fought.
It's been a long time.
I will win.
Through the shakes,
The mood swings,
Everything
Sep 19, 2013
Sep 19, 2013 at 11:40 AM UTC
I feel dead,
Not dead, dead.
Just dead.
Emotionally,
Physically,
Mentally,
Dead.
It's been one month,
Three weeks,
Six days.
Or...
1,392 hours,
Where I haven't been alive.
It's like ****
Like a cigarette,
Even alcohol.
There's a rush,
Then there's the numb feeling,
Then blood.
I miss it ******
Jul 9, 2013
Jul 9, 2013 at 11:26 PM UTC
One month,
Clean of mutilation.
No razor,
Dragged across my skin.
White thin scars,
Mocking my recovery.
Wanting me to add more,
So they have friends.
I won't give in,
I will be clean.
I will make you proud,
I promise.
Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 9:45 PM UTC
Recovery,
It's scary,
Full of the unexpected.
I can't do this alone,
Contrary to belief,
Please don't leave me.
I need support,
Or I will fall,
Once again.
May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 9:04 PM UTC
Ana,
She took me.
She brought me down to her level,
Spitting those words at me;
You're fat!
You will never be small enough!
Little did I know,
She had a friend.
Mia tried to control,
Spewing profanities.
But I couldn't purge,
I was too weak.
So I restricted,
I counted the calories.
I could feel when I gained weight,
I could feel the fat.
I wanted to rip it off,
Just scream.
My head is throbbing,
From lack of nutrients.
But I don't care.
Until that scale says zero,
I will never be thin enough.
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 9:51 PM UTC