We are children .
With unkempt hair
And hearts full of wonder.
We are the explorers.
The astronauts.
We swear to god that fairies do exist.
Because we’ve seen them.
Hiding in the mushrooms.
Growing in our backyards.
And if you asked us if the boogyman was real.
We wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.
Because he is
And one day he’ll get us.
And give us heavy hearts.
And whirlwind minds.
One day he’ll massacre the fairies.
And **** the explorer in us.
One day
We’ll have to grow up
But today
Just let me be an astronaut.
Sep 21, 2015
Sep 21, 2015 at 7:40 PM UTC
I love lightning.
I love the way it lights up the sky.
For a brief moment it lets you see
Everything the moon was hiding from you.
Darling, you are lightning.
You light up my darkest places.
Even if that light is brief,
It's a lot better than the dark in me.
But we all know what follows lightning.
And darling, thunder scares me.
I mean it scares the **** out of me.
And you scare the **** out of me.
I'm not ready.
I'm not ready for the thunder.
For the light to leave and the noise to invade.
I'm not ready for the chaos that will follow you.
I'm not ready.
I like the quite ways of your light.
I love the marks it leaves on my body.
The visual representation of where you've been.
Of where your light has caressed me.
I'm not ready for the noise.
I know what thunder does.
I know the kind of fear it leaves in me.
I know it will make my soul shake.
I know when it comes your light will leave.
And your marks will stay,
But you wont.
I know when it comes all I'll have left
Is the ringing of your thunder in my ears,
My quivering soul,
And the marks where your light once was.
But soon even those will fade.
And then I'll be left with nothing.
But my love for lightning,
And my fear of thunder.
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 10:49 PM UTC
Flags hanging at half staff
Children laying half dead
Goose bumps invading my unwilling skin
Soldiers invading an unwilling country
A girl telling her mother no
A woman begging him to stop
A little boy crying over his broken toy
A girl sobbing, her body and soul broken
Water gushing from a fall
Blood gushing from an innocent bystander
Grade school students protesting their weekend homework
Girls protesting for their right to go to school.
The juxtaposition of life.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 2:30 PM UTC
I want to taste jealousy on your lips when you kiss me
I want you to know that I don’t ******* need you
That there’s another guy that lives just down the street that would love to **** me any day
I want to feel like you need me to stay.
When you hold me I want to feel like you’ll never let me go
I want to know that you’re afraid of loosening you grip
Afraid that I might slip into the arm of that man down the road.
I want you to fear me.
Fear the power I have over you
The power to leave you if I ******* wanted to
I want you to know that I’m not tied down to you
And I want that to make your body shake
Like an earthquake
Afraid.
I want to feel like I have the power to make you crumble.
You had that power over me once.
Before I remembered that I was just someone for you to ****
Your own personal Vicodin,
Something to make your heart numb to the pain of her leaving you
But now your growing feelings
Becoming attached
But the time for that is past
I've been hallowed out,
***** you’re my toy now.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 2:09 AM UTC
I can still feel your hands
On my body
And I swear to god
It’s the most haunting thing.
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 4:19 PM UTC
He was my first for a lot of things.
My first kiss,
My first infatuation,
My first night spent cuddling,
My first lover,
My first all nighter,
My first shower buddy.
He was my first real heart break,
The reason for my first cuts,
My first night thinking about ending it,
My first addiction,
The first boy I ever cried over.
He was a lot of things to me.
He was my first love.
The first person I was every truly afraid to lose.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 11:54 PM UTC
She posts a comment,
Your name
With a smiley face next to it.
I can hear my heart plummet
To the bottom of my stomach,
Disrupting the digestion taking place there,
I feel the vile
Trying to creep its way back up.
Rejecting the news
Its being forced to sort through.
My heart.
I thought it had gotten better,
I thought it was able to digest
This kind of information now
With ease.
Like a taste it was forced to acquire.
I thought it had gotten use to this,
That it had learned how to hold
This sort of thing down.
After the first time
When I had seen your ex post on your wall
She missed you,
Every time you added a new girl on facebook
After a night out
I was no longer invited to.
I thought I had gotten use to it
After you told me you only ever wanted to be friends.
But here I am,
My heart plummeting to my stomach
Trying to force itself to digest this comment
And the plethora of information it holds.
I’m no longer a friend.
No longer someone you invite out.
I hold you back.
When you have a bad day
You flock to one of the many girls
Whom you've accepted into your life
Over the past month
Never to me.
Only hearing from you when no one else wants to go out.
I’m no longer on your invitation list
For your Thursday nights out to karaoke.
I’m not longer significant.
This information is not something
My heart, or mind, or stomach
Can digest.
Trying to reject it,
while I keep trying to force it down.
To you.
I no longer matter.
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 8:22 PM UTC
And I miss you.
So I wonder.
In the vast forest of my mind.
Often getting lost.
Trying to find you.
I wonder,
If you think about me.
I wonder,
If you ever wonder
About what we could have been.
Because I do.
I wonder,
If you ever think
About how different this could be.
I wonder,
If you ever wonder
That you wouldn't have to wonder
If only we would have worked out.
I do.
I get lost,
In the forest of my own mind.
And I can't help but assume
I wouldn't be lost
If only you had loved me back.
Or maybe,
If she had never asked for you back.
Now I just wonder,
Lost.
In a forest
I should know my way out of.
But I can't seem
To find my way out.
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 13, 2014 at 4:00 PM UTC
Nights
When I cannot see the stars
Are the most tragic.
To see their beauty
Covered by the clouds,
As if they are jealous,
Unwilling to share the joyful twinkle
Of the stars with anyone else.
They cling to them,
Withholding their beauty from me,
Leading me to yearn for them.
Becoming addicted to that twinkle
I conclude that I am willing
To travel as many miles as it takes,
To discover the most secluded area around,
To hike the tallest mountain I can find,
Just to see those bright stars
Shine down on me.
They remind me of your smile,
You know?
How it illuminates me,
How it brightens up my darkest days.
Or your eyes,
How they twinkle
When you talk about something you love
Or even when you laugh.
I would go miles to see your eyes,
Cross the ocean to see you smile,
Climb the tallest mountain to hear your laugh
The nights she comes back into your life
Are the nights that I find so tragic,
They're the nights my stars
Are hidden from me,
The cloud of her presence
Covering the stars that fill your face.
Your smile hidden beneath your taut lips
Formed in an impenetrable frown.
The twinkle in your eyes
Hazed with over-thinking.
These are the nights I find most tragic,
The nights that I vow
To do whatever it takes
To see my stars shine bright
Once again.
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 3:29 AM UTC
I understand now
Why an increase in sleeping
Is a warning sign for depression.
Being sad?
It's a tiring thing to be.
Constantly exerting every ounce of your energy
Trying to appear happy to those around you.
When others ask if you're okay
"yeah, just tired"
easily becomes the automatic response.
Maybe because it's halfway true,
You are tired,
You're tired of life
Of things always seeming to go wrong
Instead of right
Tired of people letting you down
Of your dad drinking
Or your parents fighting.
You're tired of being tired
But most of all you're tired of being sad.
Sleeping,
That's the only time you can really get away
From all the tired.
It's when your mind wonders to a different life
One where the words
"Just tired"
Don't exist.
I think that's why people sleep so much when their sad.
Their dreams
Are so much better
Than reality.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 8:37 PM UTC