I just don't understand
we used to be so perfect
you used to tell me
that I was the best thing that ever happened to you
i used to make you so bright and colorful
you used to be so happy with me
you used to bring me flowers and say
until you met me you thought about killing yourself
but you don’t say these things anymore
and you don't do these things anymore
and lately I'm not sure if you even feel
the echo of those things anymore
and now I'm sitting alone in my room
crying over the dried petals of a dead rose
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 9, 2016 at 12:10 AM UTC
somehow i'm always going to be
too much and not enough at the same time
you just lost it
your feelings
at least that's what you tell me
but somehow i get the feeling
that that just is not the truth
there's always something wrong with me
and god, it's always me
but your lips tasted like the sweetest
cherry wine
and now i'm looking for that taste
within a real bottle of it
but i'm not finding it
the only thing i'm finding is a bitter taste
and now i sit here drunk
searching for someone to calm the storm inside me
and so i kiss another
but they don't taste the same
the kiss of boys who don't love me
will never be as sweet as yours
Dec 31, 2015
Dec 31, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC
You asked me if I wanted a drink. I smiled and nodded, not noticing how heavy that red plastic cup would feel later on
We smiled and talked. You danced and I laughed. I thought it could be the start of something good.
But goo things never last.
*If you can't hear what I'm trying to say
If you can't read from the same page
Maybe I'm going deaf
Maybe I'm going blind
Maybe I'm out of my mind*
We took a walk around the house, laughing all the while
We plopped down on the couch in the basement, very few people were down there with us
we kept talking, it was a nice, light conversation. Who would have known how wrong of a turn it would take
You kissed me
"What?" you asked me. "I've heard about you." you said
*Ok, now he was close
Tried to domesticate you
But you're an animal
Baby, it's in your nature*
You kissed me again, you touched me in places I didn't want you to
"Stop." I said. or maybe it was in my head
"Stop" I pushed your arm off. But you held tight and pushed me into the couch.
*Just let me liberate you
You don't need no papers
That man is not your maker
And that's why I'm gon' take a*
"shh." You said. "be a
Good girl
"I saw how you were looking at me,
I know you want it
"I know you want it"
I started crying.
*You're a good girl
Can't let it get past me
You're far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted*
"Please stop," I begged
Did my tears turn you on?
I hate these blurred lines
I kept pushing you, but it was no use.
I closed my eyes and tears kept leaking
*The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty*
Pain shot through my body, but I kept my eyes shut tight. I refused to look at your sick, twisted grin.
*Do it like it hurts
like it hurts*
"please." I said
I know you want it
"Stop." I cried
You're a good girl
You finished, and got up. I just laid there.
"You liked it." you said
*Can't let it get past me
You're far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted*
You left
I hate these blurred lines
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 11:27 PM UTC
She could have been beautiful
She could have been tough
She could have been so many things
There was titanium where her bones should have been
and liquid steel coursing through her veins
there was a wildfire in her eyes
But she's been torn
someone ripped her wide open
and everyone could see inside
While she was sitting there with a gaping chest
something was taken from deep within
something precious was stolen by the quickest thief
Her body was a temple
it was the sacking of Troy
the magnificence of her soul is gone
What was stolen was broken
the pieces of it falling to the darkest corners of the universe
leaving nothing left for her to have
Now the emptiness occupies her body
she doesn't understand
how can something so hollow completely fill her up
She is walking irony
a living oxymoron
because somehow she was too much and not enough at the same time
and now she has bones of ice
and blood of water
you snuffed the wildfire like it was a candle flame
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 6:09 PM UTC
It's a little funny when you drink cough syrup, despite not having a cold.
Popping a few pills is a bit strange when you have no nerve pain.
And it's a tad ironic, taking fever reducers when you don't have the flu.
Because in reality
you're so much sicker than you thought
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 5:40 PM UTC
Ten.
These are the worst kinds of nights. The kind where you're gagging on your own breath that's hitching in your throat. The kind where you open your mouth to speak but you can't get those words out. To say them makes them true.
Nine.
The rain pounds against your window pain and the voice inside your head doesn't stop no matter how hard you cover your ears. You're screaming until you feel your throat bleed but you can't shut off the noise inside you. You can't stop the yelling within.
Eight.
You wonder if anyone ever notices your raspberry painted smile never quite reaches your eyes and you wonder if anyone ever wonders why your sleeves are stained red.
Seven.
Cold. You feel so cold like the wind that rattles your bones and you can't remember what it feels like to sit in the sun.
Six.
Rip the things from the walls. Tear off the bed sheets. Shatter the mirrors and blacken your own eyes. The hurricane that's made its home inside you needs destruction to keep on living, but you don't know how to **** it.
Five.
you're falling to your knees and god **** it stop crying. Stop! Don't you dare ask for help. Tears and running down your face and you can't make them quit. Crimson runs down your arms with your hands clasped in prayer, you swear you'll never do it again.
Four.
The only thing left in you for now is the hollow feeling. Your thoughts are whirling around the room gaining turbulence.
Three.
Pick it up, rinse it under cold water, tape it up as best as you can. No one told you when you poured your heart out it might fall to the floor and shatter
Two.
if you smile tomorrow no one will know, and you could be beautiful. Honestly. Maybe someone could love you
One.
your thoughts and feelings come rushing back into your body and soul. something breaks deep within you. your whole heart falling down. Irreversibly damaged in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 5:34 PM UTC