Is it possible to be jealous of the future?
Of the people you will meet
that will make your dimples grow deeper?
Of the places you will see without me,
the pieces of pizza you will eat?
Of the new shoes you will pick out
and the dinner party you wear them to?
Of the girl you meet there,
who's laugh you'll like so much
that you'll forget about mine?
Of the dinners you cook
and the hikes you go on.
The adventures you'll have,
the drives, the movies,
the nights spent asleep,
the kisses?
The kisses.
Sep 22, 2016
Sep 22, 2016 at 8:56 PM UTC
We got lost in conversation
about sports teams and politics,
the usual conversation,
lubricated by our spritzers and passing spliffs,
countless conversations
with your hand clasped on my thigh
and stolen smiles across the back porch
I sat back
laughing to myself about
the herb garden they've got growing
underneath those multicolored christmas lights,
tiny thyme leaves
I want to grind between my fingertips
And then we're leaving together
in your old Toyota that sometimes drives itself,
still caught up in our conversations
about politics and sports teams,
lubricated by those spritzers and passing spliffs,
that funny little herb garden,
those things who have given me
the most beautiful evening
of my life
Aug 7, 2016
Aug 7, 2016 at 11:41 PM UTC
I waste my time
with trivial things
trying to forget,
since I always do that
anyways
I floss my teeth
maybe twice,
Because my gums don't
remember if I have
already
Someone told me I looked
nice in the library today,
was I there?
I must have left my
books behind
And it seems I've burnt
the toast again,
I don't think I was
going to eat it
anyways
I sit on my bed
singing the words that
taste faintly familiar,
drifting
in and out of
dreams of
you.
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 11:16 PM UTC
Being happy
brings unbearable sadness.
For it will never be with these people,
this person,
in this place, or with these things,
ever again.
They will all change,
and we will simply
cease to exist.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 6, 2015 at 4:35 PM UTC
and though we
****
ravenously
you haven't seen me naked
in a very
long time
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 3:38 PM UTC
Maybe I'll eat a sandwich
even after I know you've gone to sleep,
and maybe I'll keep buying you presents
everywhere that I ever visit,
maybe I'll pretend you keep giving me shot glasses
from each place that i know you've been,
maybe I'll think of you
each night before I can fall asleep
and maybe even then I'll see you in my dreams.
maybe I'll write stories of you
what we've done and what we could've done,
and maybe I'll write you letters
like I always have but never showed you,
maybe I'll smell you and hear you and taste you
in everything that I do.
maybe I'll find your old grey sweater
and smile at the things you always left behind,
maybe I'll fall asleep with my hand clasped in its other
since yours isn't here anymore,
maybe I'll hear the songs we loved to sing
even if I can't really hear them without you listening too.
maybe I'll taste that *** you always drank,
puckering perfect lips because it tastes
like ***** and good memories,
maybe I'll see 'your city' again
remembering what my first lobster tasted like,
and maybe I'll get a bruise and it will remind me
of how much messy fun I always had being around you.
maybe I'll fall in love again.
and maybe so will you.
maybe I'll be happy again.
and maybe so will you.
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 3:04 AM UTC
We're trading hurt for hurt
punch for punch
we're taking turns seeing
how much more the other can take
testing, trying, tricking, lying
we're ruining each other
ripping into the other's skin
pulling apart, shattering
scratching, scarring
destroying body and soul
so neither of us can ever be
whole again
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 10:51 PM UTC
Apologies seep through
secret seems in my skin
tearing me open with
overflowing apologies
pouring onto my feet
staining them red
sealing shut and
ripping open again
with each change of
your indecisive mind
warm ****** apologies
always sticking around
my toes because
there's not enough
room in my body
there is no
perfect arrangement of
the fragmented pieces
of my heart
to ever fix
what I have done
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 7:59 PM UTC
everything about you,
everything about the world,
makes me sad
makes me hate it.
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 24, 2014 at 2:32 AM UTC
I don't wanna talk anymore
and I don't wanna listen.
I don't wanna believe more ********
and accept more lies.
I don't wanna pretend I don't know
or don't care or don't see it.
I don't wanna love you blindly
or pretend to either.
I don't wanna be a joke anymore
and I don't wanna take you back one more time.
I don't.
I can't.
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 24, 2014 at 2:29 AM UTC