In rumination I dwell
Wondering where it all went wrong
Why do I suffer?
Why do I struggle?
Why so difficult feeling at home in my body?
In this soul-searching I realize
I am but a product of generational trauma
Of suppressed emotions begging to release
Of repressed power too inconvenient to the patriarchy
Of festering illness, of stuffing oneself full so to not feel all of this any longer
Of diabetes and depression and erratic mood swings undiagnosed, misunderstood
Genetic mutation and poor methylation
Self hatred of bodies full and voluptuous, only to shrink down
Because that's what society and the magazines said to do
Never satisfied
Never questioning any of it!
Perpetuating the cycle
On and on down the rabbit hole of my own self-study
Seeking knowledge of how to heal
The herbs to take, the foods to eat
The mantras to chant and affirmations to exclaim
Right down to every biological mechanism and neurotransmitter
Doing the work to break the cycle
Desperate for answers, for meaning, for clarity!
I just want to know why! Why are we like this?
What can I do? Where can I go?
I just want to feel well
In a moment of truth, it became clear to me what I must do
See, some of us were put here to be cycle breakers
To end the trauma!
To speak our truth!
To own our strength!
To feel at peace in body and mind!
To embrace our femininity and take back what is ours!
Oh, if I could go back and just teach them!
Show them what's possible!
Hold them and say, there there
Not to worry
We are healed now
The best I can do is share what I have learned
To live this truth in the present
So much that it inspires everyone around me
And that my dears, is how it is done
Jun 11, 2025
Jun 11, 2025 at 3:50 PM UTC
just want to live in a world
where we normalize loving yourself
where being kind to others is standard
where everyone does their shadow work
and realizes it's not all about them
where everyone finds their soulmate
their purpose
their calling
where poor health and disease is not the norm
and we are thriving as best versions of ourselves
call me a conspiracy theorist
call me an idealist
at least i dare to dream of something greater
it all begins with you...
May 31, 2021
May 31, 2021 at 2:02 PM UTC
"Break this curse on my love life!"
I exclaim to the universe
I blame the men
I blame the planets
I blame myself:
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
"Why am I not good enough?"
I call it bad timing, their loss
I am strong and smart and I'm getting by just fine on my own
Ignoring the love shaped hole in my heart
It's all just bad luck
Woe is me
When will I ever get a break?
I looked in the mirror today
Freshly clean after a ritual bath
Born anew after a lunar eclipse
I stared myself dead in the face and found gratitude
Gratitude for the love I do have in my life
Yet humbly seeking more
I said, "I would like more love in my life!"
"I welcome more love into my life!"
A message came back to me as I stared into my own soul:
"You are the one sabotaging your own love life"
Immediately I felt release
Release in the realization I am the one getting in the way of real intimate love
I named all of the things I need to change
Intuitively, I just knew
My heart is closed
I play games
I claim to be shy and awkward yet really, I always wait for the other to reveal their cards first
My signals are mixed; throat chakra blocked
Too afraid to go after the love I desire
Lesson after lesson, failing each test
Now I understand
There are no games in true love
There is no doubt in the world that yes, this is the person
This is organic chemistry
There is no fight, no going against wills
No question of mutual interest
No forcing something that isn't there
Simply all the right elements in the perfect combination, at the very right moment
Sparking, catalyzing
Grounded in reality
Finally, I understood
Finally, I broke the curse
May 26, 2021
May 26, 2021 at 6:34 PM UTC
At a crossroads again
Hecate incarnate
The goddess in me yearns for freedom
I choose a path leading away from what once was
I no longer fear any path is a wrong path
but the one leading to exactly where I need to be
For a time, I may walk alone
because there is such growth in solitude
If we meet along the way, I am grateful for your company
Life can get lonely at times
We can walk together, in a common direction
or we can go our separate ways once there is only room for one
I will not drag you with me if this is not where you are meant to go
But I will guide you to your own path to follow with love and encouragement
And if we meet again along the way, I hope you have grown
Maybe we can teach each other something new
Or maybe we will walk together, except on parallel paths
Together, yet separate
Headed in the same direction
With plenty of room to breathe
It's just nice knowing you're there
Yes, I think this is the way
Mar 28, 2020
Mar 28, 2020 at 6:02 PM UTC
Ask not why I'm not yet wed
but hope I am happy instead
Wish I may never blindly be led into a life of regretful dread
Celebrate self love is always enough
Know I am a true diamond in the rough
Behold, I am too strong, too bold
to settle for anything less than gold
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 7:20 PM UTC
In this day and age if you are different
If you have longer hair and brighter eyes
If you have learned the math of the universe and understand the way nature works
If you have mastered ways to make life bend to your will
If you know how to listen to the vibration of the earth and march to the beat of a different drummer
You are called a witch
And you are judged and persecuted not physically but emotionally
Women hate you and men fear you
Had you been alive centuries ago you would have been burned at the stake
The memory, the anger lives on
But there is no prouder legacy
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 1:46 PM UTC
O karmic master
Wisened by lifetimes
Sharpened by experience
I bow to thee
You, the mentor
I, demented
Do your dance, lure me in
Cast a spell
Penetrate me with cunning
Fill me with intellect
Take the reins
Show me the ropes
Maybe you can be the one
To tie me down
and teach me a lesson
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 2:09 AM UTC
A short poem of things said to me lately:
You look sad and tired
You're too young to not have energy
Why aren't you married?
Do you have kids?
What kind of men do you like? <lists races>
Don't wait for a good person, you'll be waiting forever
You're too pretty to be alone
Aren't you afraid?
You're so brave
Wait for the right one; don't settle
Thank you for your dedication
I hope your life gets better
It takes time
You're doing a great job, Victoria
Hang in there
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 2:08 AM UTC
Managed to **** a Scorpio with authority issues off during Mars retrograde
I am transforming into a boss *** *****
My fuse has been lit
There are mortars going off
It sounds like war all around me
How symbolic
How volatile
I worked a 13 hour day today to escape the battle going on in my head
I celebrate my own independence
I fought for the right to live my truth
I will not act small ever again
I will not dull myself so others may shine
I am a firework
I shoot for the stars
and burst and bloom into color and light
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 6, 2018 at 8:06 AM UTC
Landed on this lone star
Stranded in limbo among fellow lost souls
The sinners, rejects, and fallen angels
We are all in oblivion together
Here in this holding cell
Waiting for something
Don't know what it is or when
But it'll be better than this
Hoping salvation will come
Making the best out of the worst
We are glitches in time
Ghosts of future, brighter selves
Soon enough this will all be forgotten
We are just visiting
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 6, 2018 at 8:02 AM UTC