Him leaving,
It’s going to hurt.
It’ll burn and sting.
It’s going to hurt.
He will build you up,
Like Lego blocks,
Just to tear it all down,
It’s going to hurt.
He will convince you he loves you,
Say all the right things,
And he’ll still leave
And it’s going to hurt.
You will lay awake gasping at night,
While he sleeps,
While he dreams,
It’s going to hurt.
And I was expecting it too.
What I didn’t expect,
was that I Loved him more than I loved myself.
What I didn’t expect,
Was that I had planned for a future with him.
What I didn’t expect,
Was that it would hurt,
It would hurt so bad,
It killed me.
It killed the girl I used to be.
May 14, 2022
May 14, 2022 at 12:11 AM UTC
Bones,
Delicate, slender, beautiful.
Cheek bones,
That encase a beautiful face,
A glowing smile highlights those bones,
With a tint of pink.
Collar bones,
Which lead to big beautiful *******
That are **** and hold a head up high.
Ribs,
**** little bones, peering right through the skin
Showcasing every small gasp,
Every small breath.
Hip bones,
A product of a flat stomach,
Sharp and beautiful,
Something he can grab tenderly.
Knobby knees,
That have a gap between them,
A gap for someone to fit in.
And long spindly fingers,
Cold to the touch.
Bones,
I want to see them,
I want to touch them,
Caress them with a tenderness never shown to me,
Then perhaps, when I can touch the fragility of my bones, under my skin
Will I be happy with my body, with myself
No longer will I be the girl needing to lose weight,
I will be beautiful, wanted, cared about
Perhaps, even people will see how fragile I truly am,
Perhaps someone will look after me, finally.
Jan 14, 2019
Jan 14, 2019 at 7:18 PM UTC
Eyes flutter while heads pound,
Memories come flooding in,
Someone else in the bed,
Soft smirks, asking how it was,
How what was?
Heart and head pounds,
Memories go blank,
Except small struggles,
Soft drunken no's, that go unheard,
Still touching, no stopping, please stop,
Blank,
Enough, smile,
It was good, it had to be,
Small nagging feelings,
Ignore, ignore, go away,
Nothing happened,
Everything stills,
Voices heard, but not recognised,
Shapes and shadows,
Nothing real, nothing happened,
Silent screams, as the world moves,
World moving, but I am not moving with it.
Jan 14, 2019
Jan 14, 2019 at 7:16 PM UTC
Beatings and screaming
Tears streaming down your face
Punished for being attracted to guys
Something you didn’t choose
Why do you have to be this way?
People hate on you for who you love
You hate yourself for loving them
You hide yourself
Hurt yourself
Why do you have to be this way?
Your friends are gone
Your families screaming,
“It’s just a phase”
Nobody understands
After all, they’re not gay
Why do you have to be this way?
“God will send you to hell”
They scream
Getting louder each time they speak
You can’t take it!
Why do you have to be this way?
You scream and cry in anguish
Until they push too hard
They push you off the edge
This is the only way
Why do you have to be this way?
You fall
The wind screaming relief in your ears
You’re flying
The ground getting closer
Why did you have to be this way?
One last breath
THUD!
You’re gone, gone from the prejudice
You’re safe, there’s no more pain
Why did you have to be gay?
They cry, they lie
About how they didn’t know
But how couldn’t they?
They gave the final push
Why did they have to be that way?
Why couldn’t they just accept and love you the way you were?
Jun 21, 2016
Jun 21, 2016 at 2:30 AM UTC