Goodbye hello poetry. It was nice knowing you, and you've helped me through a lot of tough times. Unfortunately, you're starting to cause me more problems. I'll miss you.
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 1:04 AM UTC
*You don't deserve me, as a friend.
All I ever do is hurt.
I hurt you; I hurt me.
I am constantly empty;
constantly broken.
You deserve better than that.
Someone whole,
who you can laugh with;
smile with;
dream with.
Someone who hasn't been to battle with the world.
You don't deserve me.
You deserve so much more.*
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 29, 2013 at 2:07 AM UTC
*It's funny how just the sound of your laughter,
can start the biggest fire within my heart.*
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013 at 3:13 PM UTC
I'm sorry for the way that I am;
For all of my flaws, all of my insecurities.
I'm sorry for the way that I am;
The way I gravitate towards you,
the way I light up when I see you.
I'm sorry for the smile that plasters across my face
when you tell a story.
For the way I think about you always,
writing thousands of words to try to describe you.
For how I instantly miss you,
craving your voice,
craving your warmth.
I'm sorry that I constantly sing
the notes of your name.
I wish you could hear the melodies I can create.
I'm sorry for always trying to be happy,
but failing regularly.
I'm sorry for being kind,
caring too much,
and hoping for a better tomorrow.
I'm sorry for being jealous.
For all the times I was too protective,
for the times I watched you cry and didn't grab your hand;
For the long letters I've written you,
the pictures I was too shy to take,
and for losing who you used to be.
I'm sorry for not being enough for you.
For being so dark, such a tortured soul.
For the scars on my wrist,
the imperfection of my body,
the half hearted smile.
For letting myself care too much.
I'm so sorry;
So sorry, for the way that I am.
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 12:29 AM UTC
Sometimes, when I watch you fall asleep; and you bring your hands close to your chest and tuck your head towards your shoulder..
I just want to have you hold me.
Not for any reason other than I feel so vulnerable all of the time. For once, I just want to feel so safe, be so warm. I just want to let go of everything else and hold onto you.
I just want to have you hold me.
Jan 20, 2013
Jan 20, 2013 at 7:56 PM UTC
I don't think it's your fault
that you don't know how to help me.
I don't think it's your fault
that I feel like you are
*watching
me
drown.*
Jan 15, 2013
Jan 15, 2013 at 9:22 PM UTC
We are completely and utterly ****** up.
Daddy stomps his feet around;
rawr, rawr, rawr
Little brother stands defiantly;
screaming, "I hate you; I will **** you all!"
tears streaming down his face;
once innocent but now always covered
in anger, in insecurities, in uncertainty.
And mama is in the recliner;
slurring sarcastic comments.
A glass of wine for each hour of the day.
Where's sister you ask?
Well she's probably not here; trying to escape.
Filled with such an anger, such a stubbornness.
Or maybe she's in her room dancing;
not very good at it, but an outlet none the less.
As all of this psychotic behavior is enveloping
the lives of these people, I sit on the couch
an just watch it all.
Shut off to the world, I sit.
And I laugh and laugh at the fact,
that we are completely and utterly ****** up.
Jan 13, 2013
Jan 13, 2013 at 8:37 PM UTC
*All of these
problems
swirling around;
and all I can think about
is how thankful
I am to have
a source
of light,
such
as
you.*
Jan 12, 2013
Jan 12, 2013 at 10:04 PM UTC
I need help.
I'm not the kind of person
to just ask for it flat out.
I hate feeling weak;
but I am breaking inside.
So many parts of myself break away each day.
There's the piece of me that broke off when Mama told me I wasn't good enough.
There's the piece that shattered when Daddy told me that I'm just like my drunk mother.
There's you not calling me back;
there's a bad day at practice..
Whatever it may be;
big or small;
I am breaking.
*Help me,
please.*
Don't let me get away with saying,
"I'm okay."
Don't just bypass the fact that my wrists are
two different colors;
too much cover up on fresh scars.
Sometimes I just need a hug;
just need to hear the words,
"You are important to me."
So when I go home at night,
I don't pick up the blood stained razor blade on my windowsill.
Someone...
I need help.
Please don't just pretend like you want to help me;
Giving me reassurance for a moment;
For the pain of being alone
when you get tired of
hearing my pointless stories,
seeing me cry,
letting me vent,
will be too much to bear.
Does no one see the pain behind my smile?
The sleepless nights?
Am I really that convincing?
I need help.
These lifeless black letters on a white computer screen that will be viewed by strangers,
proves it.
*Someone,
please.*
Jan 10, 2013
Jan 10, 2013 at 9:58 PM UTC